This is one of those stories – a beloved puppet, Cookie Monster grabs a lovely lady, Tyra Banks’s bottom – that may make you laugh at first. How funny, you might say! Mr. Monster is an epicurean of cookies and cheeks, the bootilicous kind. What harm can possibly happen from such an antic? Modern Love would like to suggest that if you think of his littlest fans, there’s much to worry about.
Children abusing children: My personal story
“One of the most pressing issues facing child therapists today is the sexual abuse of underage children by underaged children.” – Licensed clinical social worker with 40 years experience treating children.
Read that statement above carefully, and over again, if the impact hasn’t fully hit you yet. According to an expert with extensive experience treating the emotional well being of children, sexual abuse of children by children is so widespread these days, that it no longer surprises those in the field when they are called to provide therapy.
The recent case of a teenage California girl who was gang-raped horrified thousands when it grabbed the headlines. However, this phenomenon is occuring at younger ages too. Children are sexually abusing children, and in some cases, even in preschool, according to the expert with whom I spoke.
Unfortunately, this trend has hit close to home, in my son’s private school. It came as a complete shock to learn that one boy in my son’s class was forcing another to engage in anal-rectal sexual behaviors. In effect, one 7 year old was sodomizing another with objects. How did these come to be?
Too much, too soon
In many cases, children who abuse have been exposed to sexual abuse themselves, but not always. Some experts attribute inappropriate sexual behaviors in part to too much exposure to sexualized content. “Kids are exposed to far too much sex these days. They see it everywhere, on the TV, at the bus stop, in magazine ads. They don’t know better, and go home, or worse, go to school, and do what they’ve seen to another child,” the social worker confirmed.
And now thousands of children may have seen an ass-grab courtesy of Cookie Monster, or heard love advice from Elmo. In the promotion video below, part of the Tyra Banks show to commerate Elmo's 40th birthday, an audience member asks for advice on what to wear to meet the new beau's parents. His response? "Elmo doesn't wear anything, so Elmo thinks you should wear nothing to." Laugh, laugh, giggle, giggle, gag me with cookie.
Jokes like this may boost TV ratings and bring traffic to bloggers (this one included), but as a mom and writer of Modern Love, I see Elmo Red. Is there no place free of sexual innuendo anymore?
When children are sexualized through repeated exposure to media content – TV, print ads, commercials, music and music videos, and now by that beloved, naughty puppet – they become confused. Who can blame them? It’s up to adults to set a clear line between safe touch and unsafe touch, between what is appropriate for adults, and what is appropriate for children to do.
If cookie monster can grab Tyra’s butt (and Elmo can give out creepy advice), what’s to stop a child from touching another? Or worse.
Related columns:
Children and sex: caught between promiscuity or prudishness
Letter to the parents' of teens who gang-raped 15 year old girl
Levi Johnston, teen sex and condoms
Author's note: Given that the victims and perpetrators of the sexual abuse at my son's school are all underage, I've ommitted any names and references to the school. For those who are concerned, appropriate authorities are involved and providing intervention.
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All Modern Love Examiner articles ©2009 by Tinamarie Bernard; reposts permitted with link back to original article. All other rights reserved.
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