“Florida was to Americans what America had always been to the rest of the world — a fresh, free, unspoiled start.” — The Orchid Thief, Susan Orlean
“I like Florida. Everything is in the 80's. The temperatures, the ages, and the IQs." — Brain Droppings, George Carlin
The Brewers' games against the Florida Marlins over the last four nights have been as weird as anything coming out of that state — including alligator wrestling and presidency of George W. Bush.
To be fair, the longest stretch of time I’ve ever spent in the state was one week in Key West. But during that week, the ghost of Ernest Hemingway handed me a case of beer, and on the last day of the trip, a 15-year-old boy pulled 30-pound package of cocaine out of the Gulf of Mexico during a marlin fishing contest.
Here’s the super-condensed version of what happened, with the weird digested out:
- A Brewers reliever has such a bad inning that he is released after the game. Marlins win.
- A Brewers starter has a terrible time, but has to stay in because the bullpen is already faded / must prove his mettle after a series of questionable outings. Marlins win.
- A Marlins starter has a bad time, and is pulled for a Marlins reliever who has such a bad inning that he is sent to the minors after the game. The Brewers starter follows with an inning that is nearly as bad, but not quite. Brewers win.
- A game that could have ended as a “good, old-fashioned pitchers' duel" was blown open by a 3-run homer... by the Marlins pitcher. The Brewers pitcher takes a liner off his elbow. Marlins win.
Milwaukee Brewers trainer Dan Wright, right, tends to starting pitcher Dave Bush's (31) right elbow after he was hit by Florida Marlins'Hanley Ramirez' hit during baseball game action in the first inning Thursday, June 4, 2009, in Miami. (AP Photo/J Pat Carter)
But instead of rolling over and playing dead, the Brewers rolled with the punches. As Hunter S. Thompson used to say, “When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro." Even after two blowups, Wednesday was still not a must-win. This team did it, though. This team fought it out, and played a passable game Thursday against a pitcher who was pitching, and hitting, very well.
The Brewers can match anything south Florida has to offer in the weird, crazed youth department. The Brewers stadium is named for a famous brewery. The Marlins stadium is now named after a specific beer — LandShark Lager, the Jimmy Buffet beer, which symbolizes so much about how Florida, and America, are both the birthplace and final resting place of great dreams. And when the Marlins were in Milwaukee last month, the home fans showed them their share of weirdness.
For the Brewers, it's off to Atlanta. If they can take two out of three from the Braves, they’ll return to Miller Park in decent shape to face the Rockies and the ChiSox.
The Marlins' stadium is now named for a beer.
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