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This article started as my little rant against a dangerous series of books. I think it's about to become a big rant, though, based on my research and the reviews and the reality of what Stephanie Meyer's Twilight books are selling to our daughters...and their mothers. Seattle Parenting Examiners
Michele Johansen and Lexie Tigre admitted to being part of that ewie phenomenon known as "Twilight Moms;" that alarmingly large, obsessive group of (unfulfilled?) women lusting and drooling over 22-year old Robert Pattinson, who stars as vampire hero Edward Cullen in the soon-to-be-released Twilight movie. Setting aside the strange obsessions of grown women, I want to talk about what your public middle-school librarians are recommending to your little girls, what your little girls are eagerly sharing with each other, and ultimately, the dangerous 
messages your impressionable pubescent children are taking in and fantasizing over and processing as part of their beliefs about what a relationship should look like. Let me give you a few quotes (taken from Twilightquotes.com) from our hero, the blood-sucking vampire, and you tell me if you want your daughter to dream about bringing this guy home for dinner.
When we hunt, we give ourselves over to our senses… govern less with our minds. Especially our sense of smell. If you were anywhere near me when I lost control that way…
Edward Cullen, Twilight, Chapter 11, p.225
I promise… I swear not to hurt you.
Edward Cullen, Twilight, Chapter 13, p.264
Please forgive me. I can control myself. You caught me off guard. But I’m on my best behavior now.
Edward Cullen, Twilight, Chapter 13, p.265
Bella, I couldn’t live with myself if I ever hurt you. You don’t know how it’s tortured me. The thought of you, still, white, cold… to never see you blush scarlet again, to never see that flash of intuition in your eyes when you see through my pretenses… it would be unendurable. You are the most important thing to me now. The most important thing to me ever.
Edward Cullen, Twilight, Chapter 13, p.274
I wasn’t sure if I was strong enough… And while there was still that possibility that I might be… overcome, I was… susceptible. Until I made up my mind that I was strong enough, that there was no possibility at all that I would… that I ever could…
Edward Cullen, Twilight, Chapter 14, p.301
Bring on the shackles — I’m your prisoner.
Edward Cullen, Twilight, Chapter 14, p.302
...and some equally disturbing quotes from Bella:
About three things I was absolutely positive. First, Edward was a vampire. Second, there was part of him — and I didn’t know how potent that part might be — that thirsted for my blood. And third, I was unconditionally and irrevocably in love with him.
Bella Swan, Twilight, Chapter 9, p.195
Common sense told me I should be terrified. Instead, I was relieved to finally understand. And I was filled with compassion for his suffering, even now, as he confessed his craving to take my life.
Bella Swan, Twilight, Chapter 13, p.273
You already know how I feel, of course. I’m here… which, roughly translated, means I would rather die than stay away from you.
Bella Swan, Twilight, Chapter 13, p.274
I knew at any moment it could be too much, and my life could end — so quickly that I might not even notice. And I couldn’t make myself be afraid. I couldn’t think of anything, except that he was touching me.
Bella Swan, Twilight, Chapter 13, p.276
AACK! Do you want your daughter to believe, in any small part of her consciousness, that this is a healthy relationship? Please don't be so naive as to think that her mind won't go there. Anyone who has been an adolescent girl knows that there is no more potent a drug than the desire to be loved, to be wanted, to have someone think that you are beautiful. The fact that Edward and Bella don't actually have sex has led many to applaud Meyer for her restraint. I'm shaking my head as I type this. The only thing more disturbing than Edward's restraint (which is nothing more than his fear that he will be overcome by his passion and kill her) is the fact that Bella would willingly die to be with him. Again, is this the picture of a healthy relationship? Do we honestly want to have death romanticized for our daughters? What exactly is romantic about death? Furthermore, are these pictures of violence the ideas we want planted in our daughters' minds about sex? Are we willing to stand by and have our daughters lay themselves helplessly at the feet of violent men?
Teen dating violence is a real and terrifying thing. So real, in fact, that a resolution was introduced to the Senate today, to make the first full week in February, "National Teen Dating Violence Awareness and Prevention Week." Supporting this resolution are Senators Crapo (ID), Clinton (NY), Lieberman (CT), Murkowski (AK), Schumer (NY) and Bayh (IN). This is the fourth year that Senator Crapo has put forth this resolution, which is based on the following facts:
-One in eleven adolescents reports being a victim of physical dating violence;
-Dating violence occurs more frequently among black students (13.9 percent) than among Hispanic (9.3 percent) or white (7 percent) students;
-One in five teenagers in a serious relationship reports having been hit, slapped, or pushed by a partner;
-More than one in four teenagers have been in a relationship where a partner is verbally abusive;
-Thirty percent of teenagers in a dating relationship have been text messaged 10, 20, or 30 times per hour by a partner attempting to find out where they are, what they are doing, or who they are with;
-Forty percent of the youngest ‘‘tweens’’, those between the ages of 11 and 12, report that their friends are victims of verbal abuse in dating relationships;
-Three in four tweens say that dating relationships usually begin at age 14 or younger;
-twenty-nine percent of girls who have been in a relationship said that they have been pressured to have sex or to engage in sexual activities that they did not want;
-Sixty-nine percent of all teenagers who had sex by age 14 said they have experienced one or more types of abuse in a dating relationship;
-One in five teenagers (20 percent) between the ages of 13 and 14 say their friends are victims of dating violence;
-In 2003, in a national survey of over 14,000 high school students conducted by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, just over 8 percent of boys and girls reported physical dating violence victimization and were more likely to engage in risky behaviors including sexual intercourse, attempted suicide, episodic heavy drinking, and physical fighting;
-Native American women experience higher rates of interpersonal violence than any other population group;
-Violent relationships in adolescence can have serious ramifications for victims, putting them at higher risk for substance abuse, eating disorders, risky sexual behavior,suicide, and adult revictimization.
-The severity of violence among intimate partners has been shown to be greater in cases where the pattern of violence has been established in adolescence;
-More than 3 times as many tweens (20 percent) as parents of tweens (6 percent) admit that parents know little or nothing about the tweens’ dating relationships;
-A majority of parents surveyed either believe dating violence is not an issue or admit they do not know if it is an issue.
Please, people. You have to know what is going on with your children. Be vigilant about what they are reading, and about who they are dating. Have discussions, often, that will bring them to an understanding of what does and does not happen in a healthy relationship. Protect your children by empowering them to make good decisions, and assure them that they can come to you if they are being battered, abused, stalked or pressured to have sex. There will always be a hot new book, hot new movie, hot new this-or-that, but you have only one chance to protect the innocence of your child.
Senator Crapo (ID) helped facilitate federal grant money to send one thousand of the ABA teen dating violence toolkits out to all military installations and secondary Department of Defense schools worldwide in the spring and summer of 2006.
Comments
Thank you for this SPOT ON post. I have been waiting for someone to take on the vampires.
Oh, do I have to let my kid's out the door?
So I just read your article and I can understand your legitimate concerns for daughters (and sons, let's be honest) to read the Twilight saga. I can also agree that the books, Breaking Dawn in particular, should not be read by kids under 13 (hence a PG-13 rating on the movie). However, what I do not understand is how a parent will allow their children to read Harry Potter, an action/drama series that has violence and anguish, but a romatic novel is completely inappropriate. As Stephanie Meyer continually repeats, the Twilight saga is fictional. There is no reality behind this love story. But does that mean that girls and women can't hope and dream for the "Edward" of their lives? Even today people hope to meet their "Romeo," but Romeo was how old in Romeo and Juliet? and married a 13 year old? Do we really want that? No. Edward is simply the Romeo of today.
What people are addicted to in these beautifully written books is the passion, connection, desire, and love between these two people. The addiction stems from the fact that everyone in some way can relate to Bella's character. We have all been in her shoes--painfully shy, awkward, clumsy, in love with a guy she doesn't think knows she exists. The difference with Bella and us (among other things) is that her story worked out. It was perfect in every sense of the word, Love. Everyone deep down wants that happy ending. Sure, Bella and Edward experienced their fair share of turmoils (would you want to face the Volturi?), but their deep love for each other perservered through all of it. They never gave up, even when Edward left Bella in New Moon.
So is it bad for girls to hope for a perfect relationship? No, I don't think so. I never want my future daughters to settle for anything less than what they deserve. Furthermore, girls start dreaming of their perfect wedding at a very early age, so why not tag on the perfect man?
Girls are "in love" with the idea of Edward, not the fact that he is a vampire or his desire to kill Bella. It is because he does not give in to his weakness that makes the story so strong.
Twilight is going to affect us in one way or another, why not let it be?
Thank you for bringing serious concerns into the forefront. Never back down from protecting children.
My middle school daughter and my HS son picked the book up at the school library, read a portion then directly put it back on the shelf. Saying separtly to me that the writing was indeed contagious, but the content was not what they wanted in their lives. I'm extreemly proud of their choices. I had not known of the 'hoop-la' this book/movie was actually making.
Very insightful and well said.
boy, i was out of it - did not know about this phenom.
however much it creeps me out personally, it would just seem common sense not to expose your teen girls to such crap, and think that anything redeeming in it outweighs the screwed-upness, wouldn't it?!
those excerpts disturb me!!!
The writing is REALLY bad and I was never able to finish the first book because of it. IF my daughter wants to read it, I will finish it before and talk with her before she would be allowed to.
My concern here is you never say if you have actually read the book. I had a lot of trouble with people hitting Harry Potter and they never read it.
I don't disagree with what you say, although I really feel a person MUST read a book to be able to comment about it - just my opinion.
"Setting aside the strange obsessions of grown women" like ones that make rude statements without even knowing about the people or the book? I find that sad.
For the record: I did read the book, and then wrote an article designed for those who haven't.
Well said, Karen!
LOL
LOL!!!
Are you kidding me?! You have me laughing here.
Please tell me your review is not serious!
You may say you have read the book, but you are either lying or you need to read it again. There is not ONE instance of physical abuse from Edward to Bella (or vice versa) in that book. I can't even figure out how you have come to the conclusion that Twilight has anything remotely to do with abuse.
The book is about OVERCOMING what you are and what you want. Doing good, instead of bad, when all of the fibers of your being are pulling you to do bad. Those quotes are coming from a VAMPIRE, who by instinct wants to kill humans, and chooses mind over matter to do the right thing. I can't think of a better moral to teach our children than to do the right thing when we want to give into our WANTS.
To your readers: This article is junk. It has nothing to do with the story. Please read this wonderful book for yourself and deduct the important messages and morals from it.
Thanks so much Karen for keeping us up to date. My 12 year old son immediately recognized the book of which I had never heard. He said many girls at school are reading it. The stuff that is being sent home from school is not always good. Parents need to constantly reteach against the evil that creeps into our children's education. May God help America as we perpetually twist what is evil into something that looks good.
I had a heck of a time finding this book at my local Borders because I kept looking for it in the children's section. After seeing 5th grade (10yr old) girls carrying it around at the school I work at I thought my middle schooler might enjoy it so I went to purchase it. I finally had to ask a sales associate for help and was shocked to find this book was located in the Young Adults (18 and up) section. While there is no sexual content, it is obviously located in the young adults section due to its mild violance and mature theme regarding relationships. Regardless of it being fiction, young girls begin to form their opinions about what a normal relationship looks like by what they hear, see, and read. My concern is that this book is being marketed to young girls when it clearly is for young adults.
Karen, all the girls are going crazy over this book. All I know is that many kids are going to the midnight showing of the movie "Twilight" with their parents permission....
all I heard was that it was a story of vampires and then...cut...I was not interested...not my genre nor my daughter's...but because of what you wrote, I shall look into it and educate myself....
This book sold out 20 copies at our book fair and people are still asking about it...Thanks for the heads up and when I read it, I will decide where to go from there..thanks for your honesty... judging by its popularity, I have a feeling your opinion will be in the minority...I love ya no matter what!
Maria--this is what bothers me so much. I know that your bookfair was for elementary-age school kids. I don't believe that this is healthy, positive reading for even middle school girls! They are just too young to be subjected to such an obsessive, violent and YES, sexualized relationship.
I've heard about this book - I had NO idea! Thanks for the insight :o)
This is an example of how two people can read the same book and come away with completely different impressions of it. Karen has "read the book," (I assume by her use of the singular noun, she hasn't read the whole series) and come away with the impression that it's about an abusive relationship, and is completely inappropriate for young readers. I've read the entire series, and not once did I get that impression. In fact, much of the appeal of the character of Edward is his overwhelming need to protect Bella from harm at all costs; I think Stephenie Meyer would take serious issue with your claim that he is an abuser. (And for the record, the quotes listed from the book in your blog were taken out of context, as any Twilight reader would instantly recognize.)
At worst, the series promotes an unrealistic view of idealized romantic love, but then, a lot of the fluff written for girls does that, and we barely even raise our eyebrows at it.
What about books like "Wuthering Heights?" Most parents would be pleased to see their adolescent girl reading about Catherine and Heathcliff, and "Wuthering Heights" is required reading in schools. Yet, I don't think anyone would deny that Catherine and Heathcliff are the epitome of an abusive relationship. Does this mean that public schools are promoting abuse by encouraging students to read it?
I wholeheartedly believe in parents reading what their children are reading, and screening out books that they find inappropriate for their youngsters. But let parents make that decision for themselves, through an informed review, not from quotes taken out of context and a biased opinion.
This is a great discussion. I am curious if these pro-twilight bloggers have children themselves? I noticed that in the posts, nothing was ever said about them being a parent.
Bravo Callie! Well said. While I am not a tremendous fan of the Twilight books, it is certainly not because they promote abusive relationships; as you said, we only need to turn to classic literature to find plenty of those to go around and Wuthering Heights is the epitome. The worst thing that can be said about the Twilight series (other than that perhaps they don't feature characters that ever really develop or grow) is that it gives young ladies a warped sense of what a passionate relationship is like. Unfortunately gals, the boys you come across in real life won't be much like Edward who is mainly characterized by his overwhelming desire to protect and care for Bella.
What I find interesting about critiques of what modern children are reading is that nothing seems to pass the test: Twilight is too abusive; Harry Potter advocates the occult; series novels are brainless trash; science fiction isn't written well enough. And the children's classics of the past are supposedly not much better with plenty of violence, chauvanism, and racism to go around. For crying out loud, what are kids supposed to read? (And to be honest, those of you who are freaking out about Twilight, Harry Potter, etc: do you really think any moderately well-written, riveting book with a few things that you might find iffy so much more terrible than the stuff the average kid watches on primetime television? Sex? Overt violence? Abuse? Please. There is simply no comparison.
Dr. Samuel Johnson, when asked by his friend Boswell what the Dr. would recommend children to read responded: "Sir, I would put a child into a library and let him read at his choice." Excellent advice that I follow with my four children, particularly my eight year old who has just finished Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix.
Seriously?
This review is a joke. It makes me want to go write an article about paranoia. I've read all 4 books several times and I love them, as do all of my friends. The only violence in Twilight is between the vampires, not in Edward and Bella's relationship. The quotes in your article are from the book, yes, but they're used out of context and of course they sound strange when you don't know the situation they're used in. You could find a quote from any book ever written that sounds too violent, but it probably wouldn't be violent once you read it in the correct context of the book.
There really are things that are destroying self-esteem and healthy relationships for teenage girls in this country. I suggest that you harp on something that actually presents a problem instead of harping on these books that aren't bad like you're pretending.
Seriously?
This review is a joke. It makes me want to go write an article about paranoia. I've read all 4 books several times and I love them, as do all of my friends. The only violence in Twilight is between the vampires, not in Edward and Bella's relationship. The quotes in your article are from the book, yes, but they're used out of context and of course they sound strange when you don't know the situation they're used in. You could find a quote from any book ever written that sounds too violent, but it probably wouldn't be violent once you read it in the correct context of the book.
There really are things that are destroying self-esteem and healthy relationships for teenage girls in this country. I suggest that you harp on something that actually presents a problem instead of harping on these books that aren't bad like you're pretending.
**still waiting for the naysayers to post if they are a parent or not...I suspect they are not***
I am a Military parent of 2 children, both avid readers. We read the twilight books. We loved them! And read them many times.
My family and I had great discussions and bonding time (that includes my husband too) for hours and hours.
We had a great time talking about the Twilight series.
A fictional/paranormal clean book.
Seriously your opinion about the book is grossly distorted. The way you picked parts and pieces without mentioning how, why, what, happens before and after what you quoted, is really cunning and crafty.
I am going to call you on it; you are trying to deceive your readers. I bet you can do exactly the same thing with the bible, and make it sound evil and scary.
The feminist line about "abusive behavior" is getting old, please move on.
Your elites attitude and fulfill life is refreshing!
What is wrong with you having a bad opinion about the Twilight books every week?
I guess if I need the Twilight police I know where to find it.
I wonder... who is been obsessive here?
Please get a life and let me have my agency to read and watch anything I choose.
i am just SO glad a grown women took hours and hours of her time to dissect a fictional book that has done nothing but create a love of reading in the youth of america, as well as kids around the world. the Twilight books is a well-written easy to love series that even kids who don't ever read have gotten into. you need to realize that it's fiction, it makes people happy, and it's purely for fun. maybe just move on from your equally disturbing obsession of tearing apart a loved series for no good reason, and misleading people? give these people the chance to fall in love with the series like the rest of the world.
As others have said it is fiction....there are numerous young reader series, books, music etc that can influence an adolecents mind. I would imagine that you do not care for Romeo & Juliet either.....and that is taught in nearly all english lit calsses at some point....and in your opinioin would "have death romanticized for our daughters?"
This blog seems to written by the same kind of "obsessive" mom, you know... the kind that thinks she has all the answers to parenting and molding the perfect child... and sitting at the computer way too long. There is nothing wrong with the Twilight books. If they read the books, you make sure to have some really good discussions with them about their thoughts. Let's give out kids a little more credit.
I personally read all four books and loved them!! I don't think that I would allow my daughter to read them until she is old enough to understand the themes and deal with the semi-adult content. Maybe 14 or 15 -ish... after all, they do have sex in the last book. (Disapointing to older readers, used to steamy romance novels.... "The next morning"... I waited four books for "the next morning"!!!!) I wouldn't be too worried about the quotes you referenced or the so-called domestic abuse you claim. I would be more worried about the fact that Bella asks Edward to have sex with her every other page in the last two books. Or you could just shelter your child until she's old enough to read the book (she'll borrow it from her friends anyway) and except that it's just a story!!! It's not real! It's just for fun! *gasps* "shocker"
The quotes are NOT taken out of context. They sound creepy, they ARE creepy. Edward is not a loving, caring boyfriend.. He sneaks into Bella's room while she is asleep, and watches her sleep. Before they were even friends. That is not healthy, or legal.
Twilight is not "good, clean fun." Karen makes valid points, even if you refuse to recognize them.
Edward's refusal to have sex with Bella is not because of any morals or personal beliefs- it's because he is afraid of hurting/killing her. That is not a good message.
Also, Bella is unhealthily dependent on Edward. Everything she does is somehow related to him. What will he think of this, what will he do etc... All Edward has to do is say that he is doing it to "protect" her, and Bella will let him do whatever he wants (watch her when she sleeps!). This is definitely NOT a healthy characteristic/lesson for young girls. A guy could very easily get her to believe he is protecting her, and then do whatever he wants.
Hear hear, thanks for the well written article! This is not a good book to be given to impressionable readers. The excuse that it's 'fiction/just for 'fun'' is a poor one; life imitates art and if young girls see Edward's abusive behaviour shown as desirable because he's attractive then they will believe that is so. He monitors her; stalks her (he admits as much in Midnight Sun and is apparently still sympathetic); refuses to let her see friends to the point where he will disable her vehicle to trap her (regardless whether or not he puts it back afterwards, he STILL DOES IT); drags her to her car; babies and patronises her and she is weak-willed enough to take this for love.
Twilight is a horrible example to give to girls. Don't buy into the myth.
The writer of this article has obviously, in searching for evidence of a 'sick relationship' has missed the point of the actual story. Bella is needy and clingy. Edward is possesive and addictive.
The unhealthy aspects to their relationship? Is how dependant they are on one another. How they simply cannot BE without one another. Their love is not supposed to be, yet it is. And because of how deep their 'love' is, they are almost willing to give up everything for it.
But how is this any different to Romeo and Juliet? Or any common fairytale?
I would not go as far to say S.Meyer is an amazing author, and a lot of the time her dialogue is over the top- but she has potrayed a real realtionship where it is physically and mentally wrong very well.
There is no physical abuse in this novel. In the whole series. I don't believe the writer of this article should have posted those facts. Twilight is not about an abusive realtionship.
I have to say, I've read all of the books and I didn't step away thinking any of the things the article pointed out. I don't see how Edward and Bella's relationship was at all violent. Yes, there were elements which were slightly extreme but that's how young love is; every emotion and event is amplified. Teenagers, at times, tend to lean towards the melodramatic. Its just how it is.
And I don't see how Twilight is any different from any other love story. What about Wuthering Heights? Romeo and Juliet? Why not comment on them? Furthermore, Twilight is not a depiction of reality. It is fiction. There are vampires involved. How can that be connected in anyway to real life? Perhaps the point of this article was to bash something that entertains millions of people for no other reason. I think the author of the article is the one who is 'unfulfilled' and needs to do her research better. When you can find a concrete link between violence and Twilight then write about it.
Has the author of this article ever read a book before?
I'm asking this question because some of the greatest novels in the English language are written about relationships which could and are considered
unhealthy. Should they be banned perhaps the writer of this article would like us to set up public book burning ceremonies for all those books which to her would seem morally wrong.
As for it not being suitable for teenagers its about an all consuming romantic love (not abusive) which from my experience when I was a teenager is the only type that exists.Novels didn't make me feel this way my hormones did and i embraced these feelings and the relationship and enjoyed the ride.
As we grow older we realise what real love is.That it isn't Romeo and Juliet all consuming,which is precisely why these books are aimed at the teenage market.
Can i suggest the author of this article open a bronte book or perhaps go and see a shakespeare play,or at the very least get the stick out o
There is a reason novels are FICTION. Does the author of this article understand that?
Dear God!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm assuming you don't know and have never experienced a violent relationship because trust me if you had you would not throw that phrase around so lightly!
I liked twilight didn't think it was a great work of fiction or masterful writing but it was enjoyable escapism and great fun. And as a victim of domestic violence by my partner, as someone who has been punched, slapped, raped, locked in rooms with no water and food or bathroom, shouted abuse at and humiliated all of this at the age of 18 i can categorically tell you there is no hint at nor possibility of domestic violence or bullying in this novel.
And for someone to use that subject because they want to get on there moral high ground and preach censorship I am well and truly disgusted.
I heard about this article through a friendly twilight website and thought it would be the usual twilight bashing and clicked the link out of curiosity however after reading your comments Im so disgusted that I had to commen
Oh Jesus, way to take quotes and give it all out of context to the readers, uh? :)
Honestly? I, as a CHILD (not a teenager, mind you) read things much more 'disturbing' than Twilight and guess what? I am not deranged, I didn't grow up to think that killing people is okay, if a guy as much as yell at me I glare at him and get the hell out of his side and, Gee! I have a brain! Are you wondering how that works? Let me tell you: you use those little cells called neurons to think and separate reality from fiction. A vampire is a characters from FICTION (unless one comes and proves otherwise) and I am not worried at all for my kid. I think I am a good enough mother to have raised a person who is capable of being in love with characters and to know what she deserves as a real woman.
(cont.)
(cont.)
Now, let's talk bad about Shakespeare too, shall we? Because "OH MY GOD" Romeo and Juliet died for each other! Such a shame that a love story should end this way. Let's not even mention Medea.. poor Euripides would never have his tale called a classic these days because of hysterical parents.
Honestly? Go educate your own child(ren) and leave the books you hate from the people who love them. I don't understand people who feel the need or who think they have the right to tell others what they should or not read/allow their kids to read.
And word of advise? Do not let your kids play Mario World! Because... oh my GOD! Mario kills a lot of characters in that game! Maybe your kid would think it is okay to throw balls of fire at people if (s)he ever played it!
Argh. I am lucky my parents didn't treat me as if I were a retarded when I was young.
'Protect the innocence of your child' ... really.
What are we protecting them from exactly...?
Apparently a supernatural romance between a vampire and a high school girl.
If you want to be a good mother can I suggest you go back to school and take a literature class. Apparently some of the greatest works of literature the world has produced have passed you by. As you have yet to read Romeo and Juliet, Wuthering heights amongst others perhaps as Lucy suggested you can add them to your book burning, holier than though celebration.
I fear for your childs future if you feel censoring works of literature is the best way to prepare them for the world.
These are fun childish love stories and to dare to suggest that they in any way reflect the plight of those who suffer spousal abuse is disgustingly offensive. And shows a real ignorance which tells me you need to take a long hard look at the real world before you dare preach about the best way to bring up children.
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