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In this series on kindness, it’s important to note the power of touch. It’s been documented for years how powerful touch can be for premature babies to thrive. That actually extends to married couples.
In fact, Dr. Jim Coan, a neuroscientist at Virginia University, conducted a study where he scanned the brains of women in pain. When these women touched the hands of their husbands, “there was an instant drop in activity in the areas of the brains involved in fear, danger, and threat.”
It doesn’t take much for touch to occur or for touch to be meaningful between a husband and wife. I confess that I did not grow up a toucher. My parents will tell you that I was not a cuddly baby. In fact, I had to train myself to lovingly touch my husband. It felt very strange and conspicuous at first, but now it’s second nature.
Here are some ways you can lovingly touch your spouse.
- Kiss him or her. I’ve heard that a husband and wife should kiss at least three times a day.
- Hold hands—even when you’re just sitting on the couch together.
- Give a gentle pat to show you care.
- Rub his or her shoulders.
- Put your hand on his leg when sitting next to him.
- Put your arm around her when sitting next to her.
- Hug each other.
- Cuddle.
- Play footsie.
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