Tiger Woods: sex addition, treatment, and the forgiveness factor, 101

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Ever since it was announced that Tiger Woods was entering rehab for sex addiction treatment, the media has been skeptical.  Is he or isn't he a sex addict? Now new stories are surfacing exploring the situation.

The clinical definition: What is a sex addict?

Psychology Today defines a sex addict as follows: “Insatiable sexual hunger is not really a desire, an act of will, but rather a desperate need, a compulsion that is experienced as a craving. The need is pursued like a drug. . . . Like a drug addict or alcoholic, the sex addict relentlessly seeks satisfaction from an external source to palliate an internal pain.”  What Drives a Sex Addict?

MedicineNet.com piece from The Cleveland Clinic, "The term sex addiction describes the behavior of someone who has an unusually strong sex drive or sexual obsession. Sex and thoughts of sex dominate a sex addict's thinking, making it difficult to work or engage in healthy personal relationships. Introduction to sexual addiction

Here are some symptoms outlined by the Cleveland Clinic, which we have all read about in Tiger Woods stories 

• Multiple affairs (extra-marital affairs)
• Multiple or anonymous sexual partners and/or one-night stands
• Consistent use of pornography
• Unsafe sex
• Phone or computer sex (cybersex)
• Prostitution or use of prostitutes 

Treatment of sexual addiction focuses on controlling the addictive behavior and helping the person develop a healthy sexuality. Treatment includes education about healthy sexuality, individual counseling, and marital and/or family therapy. Support groups and 12 step recovery programs for people with sexual addictions (like Sex Addicts Anonymous) also are available. How is sexual addiction treated?

Sex addictions have been in the news.  In October Theo Fleury, former National Hockey League player, says his sex addictions can be attributed to early abuse by his junior hockey coach.  He is currently promoting his new memoir called Playing With Fire. Fleury says he was sexually abused by junior coach. 

Earlier last year, in August we learned of the problems with X-Files actor David Duchovny whose wife pleaded for privacy.  He said, "I have voluntarily entered a facility for the treatment of sex addiction," the actor says in an exclusive statement. "I ask for respect and privacy for my wife and children as we deal with this situation as a family.".David Duchovny Enters Rehab for Sex Addiction

The forgiveness factor  -- for better or worse

Dealing with sex addiction as a family, when a family is involved, is important to the success of the treatment protocol.  But it is more than understanding and following the prescribed steps defined by doctors and counselors.  In many ways the role family requires forgiveness.

If Elin can look at Tiger and say, “My husband has an illness — it is not heart disease, it is not cancer,  it is not alcoholism or drug addiction but it is damaging and killing us”  — then perhaps she can work with him to salvage their marriage which seems to be her wish.

Have we lost our vision of marriage as commitment, as a relationship in which two people vow to be together for better or worse? 

Loyalty as the essence of marriage: In Joseph Campbell’s  The Power of Myth he talked about the essence of marriage with journalist Bill Moyers some years ago.  He called ”loyalty” the essence of marriage — “not cheating, not defecting — through whatever trials or suffering, you remain true.”

Bill Moyers said:  “The Puritans call marriage the little church within the church.  In marriage, every day you love, and every day you forgive.  It is an ongoing sacrament — love and forgiveness.”

The relationship: Professor Campbell added: “The real life of a marriage or a true love affair is in the relationship…. Marriage is the symbolic recognition of our identity  — two aspects of the same being.”When Every Day You Think Love not Divorce

More articles in the news this week about sex addiction