As a woman who was involved in the sports world -- working as a nanny for golfer Jesper Parnevik for almost 4 years before her marriage to Tiger Woods -- how is it that Elin Nordegren was so unaware about infidelity and the game?
Is a wife always the last to know or the last to admit that it could happen to her?
Lemondrop asked the pointed question just last year:
"When former NFL star Steve McNair was shot to death by his 20-year-old mistress, his wife and mother of his four children claimed she knew nothing about his infidelity. But after reading The Secret Code of Sports Mistresses, which quotes a CNN statistic that 80 to 90 percent of pro athletes cheat, we wonder if any woman could be totally ignorant of the possibility.
. . ."So we all agree that cheating is wrong, but should women who marry highly paid athletes know what they're getting into? Is getting cheated on part of the deal when you say "I do" to a rich and powerful spouse?" Sports wives and infidelity
The Daily Mail on Elin -- the code of deceit and lack of respect for wives
In quoting Elin, they note: "I felt stupid as more things were revealed. How could I not have known anything? The word "betrayal" isn't strong enough,' she said, adding that she was also disappointed in those close to her (and her family) who were also in on the deceit."
"That's the thing. It is not just the husband, although that is more than terrible.
"In this case, it was also the co- conspirators, the shady little facilitators and enablers who also played their sordid part. Those on the Christmas card list or the payroll who knew exactly what was going on but said nothing.
"They are exactly the same kind of 'friends' who shepherd girls into the hotel bedrooms of married premiership football players, or usher backstage groupies into the clutches of rock stars who have wives waiting for them at home. . . ."
"This awful, corrosive lack of respect for the wife that sweeps through both husband and husband's entourage is mighty dispiriting, to say the least." The DailyMail.co.uk
That may be the problem -- the wives home alone waiting for them. Why is it that sports wives -- knowing the risk of infidelity -- do not pick up babies and nannies and simply travel along, particularly in the world of golf? Yes, traveling with babies is difficult, but women do so -- even in the business world -- rather than giving their men too much free time.
How to nip cheating in the bud
Infidelity is not running rampant in this country. We only hear of high-profile cases. Here are three things you can do to save and infidelity-proof your marriage:
1. Be alert and know the signs so you can nip cheating in the bud
2. Look for and reinforce love signs instead of snooping around looking for cheating clues to build a case.
3. If you have even the slightest suspicion about cheating, call a qualified, certified counselor for help. Save your marriage, nip cheating in the bud
Getting back to why was Elin clueless? She had babies to look after, nannies to manage, and she was attending school to get a degree in psychology. Somewhat ironic, isn't it. Despite it all, she conducted herself with dignity and left a memoir of sorts for their children.
But no one wants to believe that it could happen to their marriage. As the old chestnut goes, "Denial ain't just a river in Egypt."
Copyright 2010 Rita Watson/ All Rights Reserved
Comments
This was a thought provoking article. I do believe to a certain degree that men in the public limelight succumb to the adoration of the fans, and need more and more to gratify their egos. High profile types thrive off of the fame and attention, and probably can't come down at home with the wife and cheat with various women to receive that ego-fix. Great article, really enjoyed. Subscribed. Nice to read you, and by the way I'm Richard Ryder's sister ;o)
I believe what Elin says. I don't think her family knew or Tiger's Mother either. Women want to believe they are the only love in their husbands life. Shame, a real tragedy he caused.
He certainly caused a big mess in a lot of lives. Most of the time women are the last to know. But a feeling tells me she knew more than she is letting on. Great article!
Winona Cooking Examiner / Winona Home and Living Examiner
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