Sleeping apart syndrome snoring in, red alert marriage threat!

 Getty [Sleeping together a thing of the past?]

The  latest news reports about married couples sleeping alone is not really as new as one would think. And I agree with Salon -- not the part about sleeping apart --  but staying out of bedrooms where you don't belong, Sleeping apart: A threat to marriage?

‎‎ Back in 2007, I reported on this somewhat sad syndrome.

I remember we were invited to a formal event one evening.  Everyone looked so tight and stuffy that to amuse ourselves we decided to scan each couple and determine if they slept together and were enjoying intimacy.

With each couple we met  -- with a shake of the head -- we answered the question we posed to ourselves at the onset "do they or don’t they"?

We concluded that most of the couples did not sleep together and if they did, they simply went to bed and slept.

But as I continued my questioning and did a bit of research, I learned that there were three categories:

• Those with young children had just one thought in mind when they got to bed at night -- sleep, and hopefully through the night without a baby waking them.
  
• Business couples, married to laptops and e-mail gadgets, often didn't even get to bed at night.  And when they did, they did sleep in separate bedrooms. (Research confirmed by a  WCCO-TV Minneapolis survey.) 
• Older couples were the surprise - sex after sixty is putting smiles on seniors faces who are reporting sex at least twice a month said a report from the Universities of Chicago and Toronto -- recently reconfirmed by one of the researchers with whom I spoke last month. Sex and smiling seniors.
  

Just the other day the New York Times reported on the 'sleeping alone syndrome' and said: " Nearly one in four American couples sleep in separate bedrooms or beds, the National Sleep Foundation reported in a 2005 survey. Recent studies in England and Japan have found similar results. And the National Association of Home Builders says it expects 60 percent of custom homes to have dual master bedrooms by 2015.

"Even Hollywood is catching on. The former bodyguard for Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt told In Touch Weekly recently that the couple often sleeps in separate rooms. (Ms. Jolie informed Vanity Fair that the couple sometimes sleeps in one “giant bed” with their six children.) In Touch also reported this spring that five months after Kevin Jonas of the Jonas Brothers traded his purity ring for a wedding band, he was sleeping separately from his wife. The reason, a friend said: “He snores like a freight train. Married, but Sleeping Alone‎ (Kevin, there are snoring aids out there! Just ask your doctor.)

The real threat and wisdom of seniors

Imagine the problem with separate bedrooms -- a little tiff and you both go your separate ways instead of the reassurance of a snuggle, a squeeze, a warm touch in a bed you share.

When dual-career couples take to their separate bedrooms, they forgo the spontaneity and connection that keeps physical loving alive.

In a world of chaos and uncertainty, perhaps seniors are experiencing what young couples and professionals are missing — intimate moments that restore our spirit, reaffirm our humanity, and give us reason to exchange a discreetly knowing smile.

However, if you MUST keep a separate bed or room, follow Tinamarie Bernard's advice for Tantra Tuesday: Create a Sacred Sexual Ritual for Lovemaking

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