AP Photo/condom balloon to promote safe sex
After all of the statistics and education about safe sex, it is hard to believe that a Scottish psychologist is suggesting that "People who frequently have straight sex without a condom are generally in better mental health than the rest of the population."
He seems to be refuting a strange story that keeps resurfacing called "Sex without condoms is the new engagement ring," suggested in an on-air essay for NPR several years ago.
What's the real story?
- Listen to the NPR piece.
- Enjoy the video
- Read Dr.Stuart Brody's rationale for condomless sex
- Watch for a further discussion with a link list in an upcoming story -- then be the judge.
The NPR piece: "Youth Radio's Pendarvis Harshaw says that among his friends, the transition from condoms to no-condoms signifies a lasting commitment." Apparently, "Among his friends and acquaintances, ditching the condoms for other forms of birth control like the pill, signifies taking monogamy to a new level; partners are required to trust each other completely at the risk of getting an STD.
"Given that few of his friends in their late teens are thinking much about marriage, this transforms a prophylactic into a relationship sign-post along the lines of an engagement ring." (The commentary NPR: 'Sex Without Condoms' Prompts Heated Debate ;
Sex Without Condoms Is The New Engagement Ring : NPR
The concept is a disturbing one given what we know about the rise in STDs and AIDS among young people today.
The video: A point to ponder in this video, "condoms will not be in the window at Tiffany's."
Condomless sex rationale: According to the Independent.co.UK Professor Stuart Brody "argues that it is not unprotected sex that causes sexual diseases, but anal sex, sex with strangers who might be infected and using dirty needles to inject drugs." 'Sex without condoms can keep you sane' - Health News, Health
Link list and further discussion: Watch for my upcoming article regarding condoms and sex with links to Sarah Estrella as well as my own articles and research on the topic. Keep in mind that the myth "if you loved me, you would know to trust me -- and we don't need condoms," is exactly that -- a myth.
Copyright 2009 Rita Watson / All Rights Reserved
Comments
Yikes. This one must have been a hard story to calmly relate, but somehow you did it. Thanks for opening the window, and letting readers decide about the view. Excuse me, I have to go scream into a pillow.
I agree with Russell.. it takes a lof of courage from this article's author to expose such an uncomfortable topic.Unconformatable because only when you experience the real "propose" and the real "engagement" you may get to know the big difference.Not that I dont like diamonds rings...or that I ever had one(although I was proposed.. once!), Maybe the ones who have related to the traditional "engagement" process are still those who do not hesitate to finance or pay thousands of dollars “to prove” their "Love" to their significant others.. to basically follow the social acceptable cliche of a "propose" with an xxxx carat diamond ring, and still think they are in a safe relationships!!!
Excuse me, I am going to scream too!!!!!
Interesting article, but I'm not sure this is a new phenomenon. I'm in my mid 40's and I believe the transition from sex with a condom to sex without a condom has been seen by many people my age to be the next step in a stronger commitment to a monogamous relationship for quite some time. Not that everyone always holds up their end of the deal.
Now if I could only find a political angle to this article...
I think what this points out is that relationships transition from not knowing/trusting to knowing/trusting. The problem is when people make assumptions too early about the safety of sexual activity with a new partner. I actually agree that at some in EVERY relationship, partners change their methods of pregnancy prevention, and it does coincide with making the decision to be monogamous - but when it occurs in teenagers - with the pressure on the girl to protect herself and the expectations on the boy to sow his wild oats - we have a problem. I look forward to what you have to say on this topic in future columns!
Dear JC, Claudia, Darren, and Angelique:
WHAT THOUGHTFUL COMMENTS --
I am traveling today and as soon as I return will answer each of you. Please know how much I appreciate hearing from you. And Darren, yes, there is a political angle.
Happiness/ R
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