Recently, I was honored to have the opportunity to interview Christine Clifford, author of The Clue Phone’s Ringing…It’s for You! Healing Humor for Women Divorcing.
Christine, the title of your book is so intriguing. People do not usually associate the words “divorce” and “humor” together. What inspired you to write this book?
"You certainly are correct, Cheryl. There is nothing humorous about getting divorced. But after going through my second divorce, I realized that laughter felt better than tears. There were circumstances in my marriages that were so absurd, if I didn't laugh about them, I'd drive myself crazy!
I was inspired to write the book to teach other women that they can find life~ and a good life~ on the other side. And a faster path to that fulfillment is a hearty dose of humor!"
Tell me more about the healing power of humor. Have you seen the healing power of humor in other areas of your life?
"As I wrote in the book, I learned about the healing power of humor going through a journey that felt somewhat similar: facing and fighting breast cancer in 1994. The feelings of anger, fear, denial and grief parallel that experience, and yet somehow humor managed to find me everywhere I looked as I endured ten months of chemotherapy, a month of radiation, surgeries and the loss of my hair. The only difference is that one was a struggle for my breast. The other was a struggle for my heart.
"But as I started searching for signs of humor-- in both circumstances-- it was all around me. I needed to embrace it as a healing force, and not push it away. And I truly discovered that if I could laugh at my own situations, others laughed with me. Humor is a great connector of people. And I wanted people in my life both when I faced cancer and when I was going through my divorces. Humor opened up the gates to communication with others; put them at ease; gave them "permission" to laugh along with me. It was just what the doctor prescribed."
Divorce is rampant in our society. Hollywood is filled with stars who file for divorce after only a few weeks or months together. Kim Kardashian and Joel Humphries are two of the most recent statistics. Why do you believe this is happening? What are these couples missing?
"They are not listening to the Clue Phone, and you know what? I didn't either. There are always signs-- clues, I call them-- that the other person is simply not going to be right for you. Or clues that the other person is dysfunctional. Or even abusive, as was in my case with my second marriage. But for a wide variety of reasons, once the momentum gets going full speed ahead toward the alter, it's very, very difficult to put on the brakes and say, "STOP! I've made a mistake!"
We all want love in our lives. We want companionship; a partner; our soulmate. And it's hard for us to acknowledge that we may have made a bad choice. "How could I have been so stupid?" we think, afterwards. It's not that we're stupid; it's that we have on blinders. The other person can do no evil. That is, until we take the blinders off. I can only imagine that it's twice as hard for celebrities to put on the brakes when the entire world is watching."
Read Part 2 of my interview with Christine Clifford on Wednesday, Dec. 14. She will discuss how those who are newly separated or divorced can survive and enjoy the holidays.
Christine is the President and CEO of Christine Clifford Enterprises. She is a world class professional speaker, a sales and marketing top producer, and a bestselling author. Her books include "Not Now...I'm Having a No Hair Day", "Our Family Has Cancer, Too", "Inspiring Breakthrough Secrets to Live Your Dreams", and "You, Inc. The Art of Selling Yourself."
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