Munson’s first book reveals a brave new way of defining herself in the midst of the breakup of her marriage
Laura Munson finds herself in the position of authoring a bestselling book for the first time in her writing career, but it is not the riveting work of fiction she hoped and expected it would be. Instead, it’s an honest and gut-wrenching account of the near failure of her ten-year marriage, made fascinating because she found a way to heal the wounds and make the marriage healthy again with an unusual approach to her personal disaster.
This is Not the Story You Think it Is: An Unlikely Story of Happiness, is a memoir detailing what happened when her husband of ten-plus years of solid marriage, making a Montana ranch home and raising two children together announced he wasn't sure he loved her anymore. He said things like: I’m not sure I ever did love you.” And “I’m moving out. The kids will understand. They’ll want me to be happy.”
This isn't exactly a divorce story. Nor is it a begging-him-to-stay-no-matter-what story.
Laura's response to her husband: “I don't buy it.”
She had no way of knowing this sputtered reply launched her brave, intuitive and potent strategy of surviving the next half year of her life. It would test a recently adopted, non-negotiable understanding with herself that decreed she would no longer listen to the voices in her head telling her that personal happiness was only as good as her outward success, rooted in things that were often outside her control. “I’d seen the insanity of that equation and decided to take responsibility for my own happiness. And I mean all of it.”
In essence, her response to the devastating words from her husband was to hold her anger in check. She knew another reason for his despair, tied to his work and consequently his own self-image. She asked, “What can we do to give you the distance you need without hurting the family?”
Her insight into her partner’s mental state was the key factor in her approach being successful. She knew he hadn’t yet come to the understanding with himself she had undertaken. “He had enjoyed many years of hard work, and its rewards had supported our family of four all along. But his new endeavor hadn’t been going so well, and his ability to be the breadwinner was in rapid decline. He’d been miserable about this, felt useless, was losing himself emotionally and letting himself go physically…”
Now he had convinced himself the only solution was to get out of the marriage. To be done with his family.
Munson first published an article on her marriage regeneration story in The New York Times in 2009, called, “Those Aren’t Fighting Words, Dear.” The phenomenal response triggered her book, which reached #18 on The New York Times bestseller list.
published by Amy Einhorn Books, Putnam
[Part 2 of this article to appear in the next installment this week]
Links:
Laura Munson author site> http://lauramunsonauthor.com/
New York Times article in Modern Love column by Laura Munson >
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/08/02/fashion/02love.html?pagewanted=1&_r=1
Divorce interrupted, Midmorning broadcast of interview with Laura Muson>
http://minnesota.publicradio.org/display/web/2010/04/28/midmorning2/
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