Workfarce: Three non-Super Bowl excuses for missing work

I'm not coming to work because my country needs me. Late last night the FBI showed up at my house. They said they needed to use my home as a temporary safe house for a famous, yet dangerous, witness in hiding and the only way they could guarantee everyone's safety was for me to stay home.To corroborate: For the safety of everyone involved, you can't say anything more. In fact, you've probably said too much already.I didn't mean to miss work today. When I tried to back out of my driveway I discovered I couldn't leave. News crews showed up to photograph and interview a Nigerian prince delivering his fortune to my neighbors. The trucks blocked my street and driveway.To corroborate: Ask your neighbor to substantiate your claim. View the list »
I couldn't come into work today because my dog gave birth to 15 puppies and I have to help care for them. We didn't even know she was pregnant! To corroborate: Download a picture of a dog and her puppies from the internet and claim them as your own.

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You had a great time watching the Super Bowl. You ate too much, drank too much, and stayed up too late. As a result, you don't feel like going to work on Monday morning. What do you do? You need a clever excuse. If you can't come up with your own, try one of these.

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  • I couldn't come into work today because my dog gave birth to 15 puppies and I have to help care for them. We didn't even know she was pregnant! To corroborate: Download a picture of a dog and her puppies from the internet and claim them as your own.
  • I didn't mean to miss work today. When I tried to back out of my driveway I discovered I couldn't leave. News crews showed up to photograph and interview a Nigerian prince delivering his fortune to my neighbors. The trucks blocked my street and driveway.To corroborate: Ask your neighbor to substantiate your claim. 
  • I'm not coming to work because my country needs me. Late last night the FBI showed up at my house. They said they needed to use my home as a temporary safe house for a famous, yet dangerous, witness in hiding and the only way they could guarantee everyone's safety was for me to stay home.To corroborate: For the safety of everyone involved, you can't say anything more. In fact, you've probably said too much already.
View the list
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, Chicago Human Resources Examiner

Pam Waits has more than 20 years of experience in human resources with 10 years in the top HR spot for mid-sized companies. Her experience spans multiple industries in both union and nonunion workplaces. She spent the majority of her career at United Airlines and most recently created the HR...

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