Workfarce: Five creative ways to prevent the flu

Avoid touching contaminated surfaces altogether by investing in a service monkey to open doors and touch things for you. You may have to get prior approval from Human Resources, but with the proper paperwork, it shouldn’t be a problem.We are our own worst enemies where disease is concerned. Colds and flu are often contracted because someone touched their face after making contact with a contaminated surface. A simple way around this is to wear a bag over your head*. If you try to touch your face, you’ll touch the bag instead. Be sure to cut holes for your eyes, nose and mouth. This is especially important if you plan to wear the bag while driving.*Caution: When selecting a bag, use paper, not plastic. Placing a plastic bag over your nose and mouth is dangerous and can result in suffocation. If you must interact with others, wear a biohazard suit. This is an important addition to any wardrobe but should only be purchased new. One never knows where a used suit has been – it could be from any old plague.View the list »
 If your coworkers don’t come near you, you’re more likely to stay healthy. One way to repel others is to fake sneeze/cough in public areas and group settings. This technique is especially effective if you fail to cover your mouth. Your coworkers will think you’re disgusting and will be more likely to keep their germs to themselves.

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According to the CDC, this has been one of the worst flu seasons in recent history. Follow these simple workplace tips to increase the odds of staying healthy.

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  •  If your coworkers don’t come near you, you’re more likely to stay healthy. One way to repel others is to fake sneeze/cough in public areas and group settings. This technique is especially effective if you fail to cover your mouth. Your coworkers will think you’re disgusting and will be more likely to keep their germs to themselves.
  • If you must interact with others, wear a biohazard suit. This is an important addition to any wardrobe but should only be purchased new. One never knows where a used suit has been – it could be from any old plague.
  • We are our own worst enemies where disease is concerned. Colds and flu are often contracted because someone touched their face after making contact with a contaminated surface. A simple way around this is to wear a bag over your head*. If you try to touch your face, you’ll touch the bag instead. Be sure to cut holes for your eyes, nose and mouth. This is especially important if you plan to wear the bag while driving.*Caution: When selecting a bag, use paper, not plastic. Placing a plastic bag over your nose and mouth is dangerous and can result in suffocation. 
  • Avoid touching contaminated surfaces altogether by investing in a service monkey to open doors and touch things for you. You may have to get prior approval from Human Resources, but with the proper paperwork, it shouldn’t be a problem.
  •  Stop others from touching surfaces you normally touch. Place “Police Line: Do Not Cross” tape around common areas that you use (e.g., lunchroom, restrooms) to keep the potentially infected out. For fun, use chalk outlines like those used in crime scenes as an added repellent.
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, Chicago Human Resources Examiner

Pam Waits has more than 20 years of experience in human resources with 10 years in the top HR spot for mid-sized companies. Her experience spans multiple industries in both union and nonunion workplaces. She spent the majority of her career at United Airlines and most recently created the HR...

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