In the spirit of Lent, here are seven things the fast food industry should consider giving up...forever.
1.Baked cookies and cupcakes – What is the story here? It's not a bakery or a coffee shop. If I'm chowing down on some fried chicken, the last thing I have in mind as a meal cap is a bran muffin.
2.Wall to wall menus – They make you feel like an inconsiderate dunce because you can't possibly see ninety percent of the options until you get to the counter, then you have to simultaneously read, evaluate, and apologize to the cashier and trailing customers as you stumble over your decision like you've never seen a restaurant before. How about a portable paper menu?
3.Employer servicing beverages - Sodas already serve as profit-gouging fountains, do you really need to monitor and regulate the ice percentage as well?
4. Limited bathroom access – Let's face it, for many people, this is one of the biggest draws of a fast food restaurant: a nice, clean, accessible bathroom. If they won't play the restroom game, it's called cheating.
5.Fruit and vegetable sides – Unless you're throwing together a salad or dessert trimmings, there's no place for these. It's not Whole Foods, people aren't interested in paying a dollar for five packaged baby carrots.
6.Sauce saturation – It doesn't make up for lack of flavor, it just makes it worse. I fail to see the obsession with slathering burgers in mayonnaise, mustard, etc. until it becomes a sauce bun.
7.Cheesy cross-promotion – Admittedly, this has gotten better in recent years. But if there's ever a time I don't want to go to McDonald's, it's when they've just teamed up with some new movie Honey I Shrunk the Avengers. Let's get some class.