Top 10 Stupid Things You Shouldn't Do at SXSW

Fader Fort is stupid, and crowded, and loud, and full of dummies, and has a terrible line up this year.Why would you torture yourself like that?Free booze is hard to turn down, I know. But watch your consumption because you never know who you are going to run into (Donald Glover, Danny Pudi, that asshole from Odd Future), and you probably want to remember who your new favorite band is. If you see this, two hours before the doors open, don't waste your time! SX has a billion things to offer and often the best are surprises! Lines are for losers, man. View the list »
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SXSW can be a beautiful, life-altering experience, or one of the worst hells you've ever suffered through.

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Everyone tells you all the great things you should do, all the great places you should go, and all the hottest parties you should attend to have a great time.

Let's try a list of everything you should avoid to keep you from hating your life this coming week, shall we?

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  • If you see this, two hours before the doors open, don't waste your time! SX has a billion things to offer and often the best are surprises! Lines are for losers, man. 
  • Free booze is hard to turn down, I know. But watch your consumption because you never know who you are going to run into (Donald Glover, Danny Pudi, that asshole from Odd Future), and you probably want to remember who your new favorite band is. 
  • Fader Fort is stupid, and crowded, and loud, and full of dummies, and has a terrible line up this year.Why would you torture yourself like that?
  • Just because you couldn't get in to a show doesn't mean you should cry like a little baby. Go somewhere else. Your life will continue and don't be a little bitch. 
  • Don't start stuff with people just because you've had three Sailor Jerry's and Cokes okay? We are all here to have a good time and relax and get drunk, and throwing punches just because some one stepped on your brand new pointy-weird-man shoes is not necessary. Be kind, be forgiving, or just ignore everyone around you. 
  • Okay. I understand wanting to look cute but don't dress like you are on a runway. It will be hot, it will be cold, it will be sweaty, you might fall in the dirt, you might get blood on you, hell, you might get vomit on you.Do not wear the nicest things you own. We will laugh. 
  • Look at that happy face! How happy!Not. If you are a young female, please go here with a friend after dark. Don't be that girl who has to chase down a policeman to escort you back to your car and get hugged by a crack head in the process*. *Personal experience may or may not influence this piece of advice.
  • I don't care how drunk you are, just because you see some food somewhere does not mean that it is good for eating.Even if you can shake the ants off that pizza you found in that box outside La Zona Rosa.It will taste good, and you will probably not be hungry anymore, but still don't*. *Personal experience definitely influences this piece of advice. 
  • SXSW is long and hard, (thats what she said), but there are enough hours in the day. Make sure to catch the Zzz's you need to healthily make it through each day. Don't go to the damn 21st Stree Co-Op even if Andrew WK is playing at 4 AM,  because you are sleepy and your cat is probably hungry. 
  • Okay but for real.Cap Metro is actually semi-reliable during SXSW and there are a myriad of free car shuttles/services you can snag all over town. The police are out in force looking for drunk driving and criminal activity. Its not worth it, your trip will be ruined, and the Austin court system will take forever. For FREE awesome shows, visit http://sxsfree.org/ and follow @ATXMusicExmnr on Twitter!
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, Austin Music Examiner

World traveled, musically trained, and just a lifelong music fan, Caitlin puts her prowess to use in interviews, previews, reviews, and photography to share her passion with the interwebz.

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