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Top 10 reasons Miley Cyrus should put her tongue back in her mouth

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We lived through the twerking. We looked way when she licked the wrecking ball. But why, oh why, must Miley Cyrus insist on sticking her tongue out everywhere she goes? We have no answers, but we have a few ideas why she should stop.

Hygiene
Hygiene Getty Images

Hygiene

First of all, if you're going to draw all that attention to your mouth, clean the lipstick off of your teeth. And if you must stick that thing out, get a tongue scraper and take off some of that nasty nicotine or whatever it is.

Your tongue is not a pointer.
Your tongue is not a pointer. Getty Images

Your tongue is not a pointer.

Miley Cyrus, your tongue is pointing directly to your peekaboo side-boob action. Wouldn't it make more sense -- and be more direct -- to just point your finger at it? 

Miley, your tongue is not an accessory.
Miley, your tongue is not an accessory. Getty Images

Miley, your tongue is not an accessory.

Your tongue is not an accessory. And if it were, dear Miss Cyrus, it would be one too many items in that outfit. And don't even get us started on the devil do.

Again, hygiene.
Again, hygiene. Getty Images

Again, hygiene.

Miley, Miley, Miley. Nobody, repeat nobody, wants to see that blanket of whatever it is on your long, pointy tongue. Even porn stars know better.

No peeky, please.
No peeky, please. Getty Images

No peeky, please.

Miley Cyrus, you would look adorbs in this photo if you just could have resisted letting The Tongue out for air. Just a peek? Really? It looks like you swallowed somebody's finger. No. Just no.

The Exorcist has already been done.
The Exorcist has already been done. Getty Images

The Exorcist has already been done.

We finally understand what this performance was about. It was an audition for the next sequel to The Exorcist. Oh Miley, didn't you get the memo? It's been done, dear. To death. Sorry.

Help! There's an eel in my mouth!
Help! There's an eel in my mouth! Getty Images

Help! There's an eel in my mouth!

We don't know whether to call 911 or The Food Network. Apparently an eel is trying to get in or out of there. And during a photo op, too. Bad timing.

Call a lifeguard. Quick.
Call a lifeguard. Quick. Getty Images

Call a lifeguard. Quick.

The juxtaposition of a jutting tongue and a surfboard is just scary. Are you about to drown? Were you just rescued? At least that sheer wetsuit remained in tact.

Please, not for the profile.
Please, not for the profile. Getty Images

Please, not for the profile.

The holding up of two fingers appears to indicate two appendages -- nose and tongue -- competing for attention in this profile shot. Yes, we see it. No, it's not flattering.

What's wrong with this picture?
What's wrong with this picture? Getty Images

What's wrong with this picture?

This was such a cute, wholesome photo. Why, Miley? Why did you have to stick out just the tip of your tongue? It didn't make a point. It didn't create an image. It just ruined the photo.

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