I am the last guy you want to come to for advice about getting married. Trust me on this one. I have my own window at the marriage license bureau at the Clark County courthouse in Las Vegas. God I love Vegas. Unfortunately where marriage is concerned, what happens in Vegas doesn’t stay in Vegas with my marriages. It spreads like a cancer to divorce courts and custody battles throughout the country.
But my fascination with the whole pagan wedding ritual does not include rehearsal dinners, guest lists or bridesmaids. (Although I must admit, I have been interested in a few bridesmaids.) It is the wedding cake itself.
A symbolic tiered pile of flour and sugar and eggs and frosting with a tiny couple atop that when it is sliced is smashed in to the bride and groom’s faces. Ugh, what worse way to start the bondage of matrimony.
The cable channels these days are filled up with shows about cakes and baking competitions which brings me to the symbolic wedding cake. Multi-tiered, ornately decorated and sweeter than a rice cake. The cake at a wedding ceremony looms in the background until it becomes the spotlight for ten minutes or so at the reception. By the time the slicing of the cake comes about everybody is half in the bag and a mini food-fight breaks out. Hours of baking, assembly and decorating are destroyed with one slice of the knife. It’s over, everyone has a small slice of cake on a paper plate and the drunken dancing and fights in the parking lot resume. God I love weddings.
So no matter what the outcome, marriage is a 50-50 proposition, the list today has three unusual wedding cake ides to reflect today’s modern lifestyles. The themes reflect an evolving society that includes Jacuzzis, video games and Star Trek. Check them out.
A toast to the bride everybody.