Fox, Sony, and New Line studios have given us some great Marvel big screen adaptations but the bad has far outweighed the good. Here is a list of the ten biggest bottom feeders that movie goers have been subjected.
Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer
So, no question as to why Fox is so willing to reboot this awful franchise. The casting isn't the biggest problem with this one, though Ioan Gruffudd is as terrible as his name. Jessica Alba's mere presence makes this much better than it is.
The first main problem with this movie is the shoehorning of Doctor Doom. Why is he even there? He contributes nothing to the story at all. The other issue is the lack of Galactus. In the comics equivalent of Cloverfield, we never even see Marvel's giant planet eater.
Punisher: War Zone (2008)
The first of several characters on this list that, if real and alive, would be thankful that their live action rights have reverted back home to Marvel.
No one can possibly give a reasonable explanation as to why Tom Jane was removed as Frank Castle. That opinion is hardly unusual as the great fan film "Dirty Laundry" can attest. Ray Stevenson could barely move, much less punish anyone.
Here's what people don't tend to realize. Generally, the Punisher's nemeses are just hot garbage. Jigsaw is just a gangster with a carved up face. He has no particular abilities or distinguishing factor. The Punisher's best battles have always been with other characters' rogues like the Kingpin and, arguably, his best story is "Punisher Kills the Marvel Universe". Doubtful that any studio would be willing to take that one on.
The Punisher would work best in television. Perhaps a Netflix series is in the offering. More on that later.
Not much to say about this except for the utter squandering a talent both in cast and crew. How did Ang Lee even make this? Probably with his eyes closed. I couldn't even watch this whole thing.
Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance (2012)
The first Ghost Rider easily could, and maybe should, have been on this list. But the sequel makes it because the entire point of it is completely beyond anyone's comprehension. The first movie and the Johnny Blaze origin story held some intrigue but this movie just drops you in and expects you to wade through the sewage. Not even Idris Elba could save this.
Blade: Trinity (2004)
A series that got progressively worse saved its most abysmal effort for television but, before that, was this 113 minutes we'll never have back. We finally say goodbye to Whistler, at least a movie too late. As horrible as Dominic Purcell is as Dracula, the real crime is Ryan Reynolds's portrayal as Hannibal King. His performance was pitch perfect...if he was going for a Kevin Smith movie. More on him later.
Next step should be a Netflix series or movie with the Midnight Sons with Ghost Rider.
Spider-Man 3 (2007)
The bottom half of this list is largely rated this poorly because of expectations. These movies may not have been worse than the first half of the list but they certainly failed to deliver on their promise.
Sam Raimi is a gifted and exciting filmmaker. He stages action and camera movement like few can. There is no reason that he should have given us this. People didn't like Topher Grace. Whatever. He was fine. When you come out and say Venom is going to be in the movie and then, out of 139 minutes, we get to see him for 7. That's seven minutes from when he becomes Venom up until his underwhelming and, frankly, humiliating defeat using sound reverberations.
X-Men Origins: Wolverine (2009)
This movie is just not big enough for what they were trying to do. This was the cautionary tale that Joss Whedon must have been aware before taking on The Avengers. Let's get a mutant roll call here: Wolverine, Sabretooth, Gambit, Blob, Kestrel, and Silver Fox. There is also the utterly idiotic inclusion of kid Cyclops and non-telepathic Emma Frost.
Wait, there's one missing. Ah, yes, Deadpool. As bad as Ryan Reynolds is, the worst thing done to that character are all the powers that were added to him through weird experiments. Also, he had no mouth. Isn't talking smack while fighting the whole point of Deadpool? Way to ignore the essence of the character, not that they did Gambit any favors either. He had little or no reason to be there at all except that he hadn't been used in any of the X-Men films.
Any regular readers should not be surprised at this pile of excrement on the list. Marvel has a public enemy #1 and his name is Mark Steven Johnson. He's a three-time failure in Marvel films with this being his first.
First off, the casting is actually very good. Affleck as Daredevil had the misfortune of having to say some of the cheesiest, dumbest lines this side of Arnold Schwarzenegger. Jennifer Garner was fantastic as Elektra (too bad, as it turns out). Jon Favreau was good as Foggy Nelson, and Michael Clarke Duncan was one of the few people that had the stature, presence, and chops to play the Kingpin.
The fights are pretty good, too, especially the final one. It really is the terrible dialogue and "comic" beats that sunk the man without fear to a man without fun. The nicest thing that happened to Frank Miller with that movie was him being shot in the head by Bullseye early on. At least that way, he didn't have to live through the rest of the movie completely botching his classic storyline.
X-Men: The Last Stand (2006)
I refuse to call this X3. That's just dumb. Not that I should expect anything more from the director of the Rush Hour franchise. "The Dark Phoenix Saga" is one of the most beloved stories in X-Men lore, so the first thing you would want Jean Grey to do in the film after coming back to life is...kill her boyfriend. Huh. Doesn't that just deflate all of the emotion out of the story before it gets going? Was this punishment for James Marsden following Bryan Singer over on Superman Returns?
Not only is Phoenix screwed up instantly but it's relegated to B plot in favor of the cure for the mutant gene. Gene, not Jean. Can you imagine if "The Dark Knight Returns" chose to focus on the rehabilitation of Two-Face rather than middle-aged Bruce Wayne putting the cape back on? Any outrage people have for this movie is fully deserved. Watch the 90's X-Men cartoon if you want to see this story done right.
2005 was a great year for comic book films. Batman Begins kicked off the "Dark Knight Trilogy" Even the first Fantastic Four was kind of okay. A big year again for Frank Miller as Sin City revolutionized digital filmmaking. Too bad another creation of his, Elektra, couldn't boast the same.
To be honest, Elektra maybe shouldn't have her own movie. But she did, and this was it. It had no identity and a colossal waste of the Hand. A group of ninjas that are such a huge part of her comics history. They resurrected her after death at the hands of Bullseye. In the movie, they don't even know who she is. Just plain stupid and a total lack of understanding of a character.