Ten predictions we can make from DWTS' Season 16 cast members (Part 1)

The Definition of a DWTS Wild Card is pretty simple.  These are the celebs who make the FCC extremely nervous.    Controversial comedian Andy Dick happens to be one of those people.   But since Wild Card personalities are as fickle as they come, he could either be a total snooze, intent to shine in the competition – or...this might be the absolute shortest TV debut pro Sharna Burgess will ever have. Boxing great Victor Ortiz may be a “lightweight” in the ring.   But if he wants to compete with his heavy competition, he’ll need some help.   Fortunately, somewhere in the DWTS rule book there is a provision insisting that hunky Latin American stars must remove their shirts at some point during the competition.   Oh yeah, and it helps if he can dance too.     The only thing that DWTS likes more than Olympic figure skaters is a bubbly World Champion with a great back story.    Clearly the refreshing addition to the cast, legendary ice queen Dorothy Hamill is the 50-something audiences will be eager to see.   A survivor of breast cancer and mentor to young skaters, legendary athlete Hamill is reality show gold.View the list »
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After more than a dozen seasons of “Dancing with the Stars”, envisioning the kinds of cast members we’ll see on the show has become a piece of cake. In fact, you can practically predict the direction in which the season will go, simply by running down the list of hopeful Mirror Ball winners. DWTS’s 16th installment may have fresh faces. But these 10 celebrity cast members tell us a lot about what’s to come…

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  • The only thing that DWTS likes more than Olympic figure skaters is a bubbly World Champion with a great back story.    Clearly the refreshing addition to the cast, legendary ice queen Dorothy Hamill is the 50-something audiences will be eager to see.   A survivor of breast cancer and mentor to young skaters, legendary athlete Hamill is reality show gold.
  • Boxing great Victor Ortiz may be a “lightweight” in the ring.   But if he wants to compete with his heavy competition, he’ll need some help.   Fortunately, somewhere in the DWTS rule book there is a provision insisting that hunky Latin American stars must remove their shirts at some point during the competition.   Oh yeah, and it helps if he can dance too.     
  • The Definition of a DWTS Wild Card is pretty simple.  These are the celebs who make the FCC extremely nervous.    Controversial comedian Andy Dick happens to be one of those people.   But since Wild Card personalities are as fickle as they come, he could either be a total snooze, intent to shine in the competition – or...this might be the absolute shortest TV debut pro Sharna Burgess will ever have. 
  • That said, DWTS added a back-up comedian just in case things go south with Andy.    Unfortunately, comedians rarely make it halfway through the season.      Both Adam Corolla and David Alan Grier finished 9th in their respective seasons.    Margaret Cho had worse luck during her run in 2010.  Comedian Jeffrey Ross was the first one to go in Season 7.    The same goes for Ashley Hamilton, whose stint on DWTS in Season 9 lasted about as long as his marriage to 90210 star Shannen Doherty.   Coincidentally, even his dad George lasted longer when he competed in the program’s second installment.   Suffice it to say; unless D.L. has enough hidden moves to take over the Wild Card title, he just might suffer a similar fate.
  • The “Real Housewives of Beverly Hills" star may not be an actual cougar.   (She’s been married to hubby Ken Todd since the 80s.)  But she and pro Gleb Savchencko would be doing us a disservice if they didn’t dust off Kirstie Alley’s version of “Mrs. Robinson” in Season 15, whenever the opportunity permits.  
  • Come on, just look at these two.   They were manufactured to be the show’s resident sweethearts.   Derek is undoubtedly the star of this reality program.  With three Mirror Balls under his belt, DWTS’s Golden Boy is always the one to watch out for.   Will he transform Kellie into a boot-scootin’ ballroom dancing machine?   Affirmative.
  • Hmm.   This dancing couple has “heat” written all over it.   Sexy Karina can make anybody look good on the ballroom floor.   That job may or may not be a struggle with NFL player Jacoby Jones.   Things can go one of two ways:1) They can have zero chemistry because Jacoby’s actually an awful dancer (Ha!).Or 2) They’ll make Len squirm during their Cha Cha.   Then, Jacoby will take his shirt off.    He can’t let Victor have all the fun. 
  • Mark Ballas and Olympic gymnast Aly Raisman are clearly here to provide competition for Derek and Kellie.   Gymnasts are noted for doing well on the show.   Furthermore, Mark is just one Mirror Ball away from tying with Hough.  But aside from his friendly rivalry with Derek, a triumphant season with Raisman would help recover from the backlash of dealing with  previous two-time partner, Bristol Palin. 
  • No offense to the famed country singer; but it’s pretty apparent that Judd is the DWTS’ resident body sculpting candidate.    Former contestants like Kelly Osbourne, Ricki Lake, and Kirstie Alley have credited the show with keeping their figures svelte.  Judd’s weight loss woes aren’t exactly a secret.   And in 2010, she showcased a 60-lb. weight loss on “Oprah.”     Give her a few weeks with partner Tony Dovolani and.  she’ll be on the cover of People in no time.  
  • We had a great time last season watching Val Chmerkovskiy and All Star Kelly Monaco’s steamy on-screen chemistry.   And apparently, the two are still quite cozy off the ballroom floor.  But as things heat up with Kelly, we can be assured that their romance won’t be threatened by his grueling work hours with celeb match-up, Zendaya Coleman.  The Disney actress is just 16.
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, Atlanta Urban Entertainment Examiner

Ayanna Guyhto, a transplanted "New Yawwwker", is a freelance writer, musician, and visual artist. This pop culture enthusiast's coverage of hot urban topics comes from an unusual, yet eye-catching perspective. Contact her at indieflickjunkie@yahoo.com.

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