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Single guys in their fifties

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There are important benefits to being married and so it raises questions about why one would remain single for twenty three years longer than the national average, which is 27 for men.

They believe that their soul mate hasn't appeared yet. The truth is that most of them have specific, common obstacles that act as a barrier to success, which are listed below the next paragraph where the pictures are.

This is a true story: Over a 23 year period Adam* met hundreds of single women on dating websites, at work, at the gym, and in college and law school. They were all different. He had two long term relationships, with Lilith* for six years and Eve* for three and a half years. Lilith said that Adam gossiped about her to his mother, he pressured her to get an abortion, he always had excuses to get out of everything that he didn't want to do, and he always had an excuse to postpone getting engaged even after their 5th anniversary. Eve said that Adam continued to date other women through their first year, including his ex-girlfriend Lilith. Additionally, he gossiped about her to his mother, pressured her to get an abortion, and he always had excuses to get out of everything that he didn't want to do. They got engaged but he always had an excuse to postpone the wedding. His sister told her that he has a violent temper and later he began to abuse her as much as he could without actually hitting her. Obviously Adam is a low-life loser but he can't see it, and he tells all of the new women he dates that he's been searching for his soul mate for 20 years and she hasn't appeared yet.

He needs more privacy than marriage allows
He needs more privacy than marriage allows Getty Images

He needs more privacy than marriage allows

Everyone needs to be alone sometimes, especially right after work, but some people need so much alone time and so much privacy that marriage would never work.  They still need companionship and sex but only a casual live-out girlfriend will work for them.  

He has a "hair trigger."
He has a "hair trigger." Ed Wray/Getty Images

He has a "hair trigger."

He becomes deeply concerned about trivial problems that don't bother most people.  He shuts out the women he dates and then he leaves them because of minor problems that are so trivial that they can't believe that it was the real reason why he left.  And then they try to figure out what the real reason was.

He may have a mental condition such as narcissism or borderline personality disorder.  Unfortunately there isn't a psychiatrist around to watch it happen and provide an explanation for his girlfriend so that she can stop beating herself up wondering why he left.   

He has a severe addiction to a legal substance
He has a severe addiction to a legal substance Getty Images. Arranged by Katie Mallory.

He has a severe addiction to a legal substance

He nurses on a legal substance that keeps him on an emotional roller coaster.  The most common addictions are excessive caffeine, nicotine, and alcohol.  Also, online gambling is on the rise.  This is important:  One who is 50 and still dates multiple women is addicted to dating, like it's a video game that he can't quit playing.  He's a low-life loser and he doesn't know it.  

He's grumpy and mean
He's grumpy and mean Getty Images

He's grumpy and mean

Most people are polite in public and in the privacy of their own homes they occasionally have one or two unpleasant behaviors.  That's normal.  But men who have had a long string of failed relationships for twenty years usually have an anger management problem.  They have no self control when they're in the privacy of their own homes.  

He misrepresents himself to his dates
He misrepresents himself to his dates Getty Images

He misrepresents himself to his dates

Women expect YOUNG men to exaggerate about their jobs and income.  They're supposed to grow out of it.  Just like teenage girls grow out of their insatiable desire to own a Cabbage Patch doll, most men grow out of lying to their dates.  It's part of growing up.  But some men NEVER LEARN and they continue to do it even when they're 60 years old.

For example, there are doctors who work only 15 hours per week and they misrepresent themselves by using deceptive rhetoric to create the false impression that they earn $150,000 a year.

There are part time instructors at community colleges who tell their dates that they're full time tenured professors.   

There are attorneys and tax professionals who have never earned more than $40,000 a year but they say that they make $80,000. 

Elected officials get caught lying about their background to voters because their opponents do background checks.   

He doesn't recripocate
He doesn't recripocate Getty Images

He doesn't recripocate

He puts his relationship on autopilot.  He expects his girlfriend to keep their relationship steady by herself.  He also doesn't reciprocate sexually:  He expects her to please him every time but he never pleases her.

He doesn't share and he's not helpful.  If his girlfriend's car breaks down that's her problem.  She's on her own.   

He makes promises that he doesn't intend to keep
He makes promises that he doesn't intend to keep Jamie B./ Getty Images

He makes promises that he doesn't intend to keep

How many women have dated a man who told them that he wants to get married within a few years, and after three years passed by he still hadn't proposed?  Women are forced to leave their longtime boyfriends because if they stay in those relationships then they'll age out of the dating market.  Statistically, the cut off appears to be age 35.  Of course women can get married at any age but statistically the odds are against them.

I read somewhere that if a woman doesn't get married by age 32 then there's an 80% chance that she never will, and if she doesn't get married by age 35 then the unlikelihood increases by an additional 15%.  I asked several men why and they all said that they worry about whether she can get pregnant.  That's reasonable, but it doesn't explain why men who are in their fifties and already have kids and don't want to have a baby limit their search to women who are under age 35.

He has a bad relationship history
He has a bad relationship history Getty Images

He has a bad relationship history

If one could have a private conversation with each of his former girlfriends, one would discover that he hurt them in ways that make him look insane.

For example, there are guys who have pressured their last two or three girlfriends to get an abortion.  Please remember that by law it is the woman's decision.  He and his mom can threaten you all they want and it won't make any difference because in the eyes of the law their opinion does not count.  Tell him to shut up and go home.  If he harasses you over your cell phone then block his number and block him from your email account.  If he still won't shut up then file for a restraining order.  Find a lawyer through a nonprofit clinic to prepare for a custody battle once the baby is born.  In California judges have to try to give the father 50/50 joint custody as soon as possible, and so you may have to move to a different state where they usually give primary custody to the mother.  

There are guys who have cheated on every girlfriend that they've ever had.  They think that they would be monogamous if they found the right woman but they'll never settle for anyone.  A man who is 50 may be in his 25th year of searching and may have had sex with over 75 women.  LOL, how many will it take?  

There are male gold-diggers out there, too.  Find out if all of his long term girlfriends earned higher salaries than the statistical average for females in his county.  And try to find out if they came from rich families.  Some guys brag about their ex-girlfriends' rich parents because they're hoping to bolster their own status by displaying hers.  Instead it sends the signal that he's a wannabe and that he uses women.    

If he's 50 and he's never dated a poor woman for a year then run away from him as fast as you can.  Run fast and furious.  Statistically, the majority of women struggle financially and he avoided all of them.  If he dated several then he didn't avoid them but he treated them like they're disposable Kleenex tissue.  Those he dated for three months were Walmart's Great Value Paper Towels; they last longer than Kleenex but they still end up in the wastebasket.   

  

 

   

 

 

  

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