"Isn't it ironic? We ignore those who adore us, adore those who ignore us, hurt those who love us, and love those who hurt us." - Ellen Hopkins
If the above quote makes any sense to you, chances are you've been attracted to an "emotionally unavailable" person at some point in your life. It's also a phrase that's coined for the old term, "unrequited love."
For some of us with childhood issues, loving the ones who can't love us back seems normal.
I've coined the term "crumb addiction" to describe this phenomenon. "Crumbs" are an analogy for the fleeting remnants of hope that one sees in their beloved that some love and attention could fall wayside of their cold exterior. Hence the victim is hooked, or "addicted" to the smallest version of what is healthy and sustaining for life, such as a whole loaf of bread.
Crumb addicts are starving for attention and are hooked on the emotionally unavailable person to drop a few clues that he or she is interested in them.
You may not even be aware that you're subconsciously drawn to such people. After all, society accepts that we should fall in love with the magical, mythical "someone" who gets us, wants us, and will be there for us when we are down in our luck.
But that's not always the case in real life relationships. Scratch those rom-coms and romance movies.
Have you ever questioned why the person you're dating fades away, disappears or gives hot and cold signals that leave you, well, confused, to say the least? Chances are you've been dating an emotionally unavailable person (EUM for emotionally unavailable male and EUF for emotionally unavailable female, for short).
If you're a single parent, wasting time with such a person would not only be moot for you, but possibly detrimental to your children who get mixed up in unnecessary drama. After all, if you're showing them that it's okay to chase after crumbs, chances are good that they will follow in your footsteps and choose EU partners in life.
And you sure don't want them to suffer the slow death of unrequited love, would you?
Here are seven signs you're dating an emotionally unavailable person. Time to cut the strings and move on.