‘Resolve Conflict God’s Way’ by Dr. Bill Graybill

 In this world, one thing is certain: Everybody hurts. Suffering may take the form of tragedy, heartbreak, or addiction. Or it could be something more mundane (but no less real) like resentment, loneliness, or disappointment. But there’s unfortunately no such thing as a painless life. In Glorious Ruin, best-selling author Tullian Tchividjian takes an honest and refreshing look at the reality of suffering, the ways we tie ourselves in knots trying to deal with it, and the comfort of the gospel for those who can’t seem to fix themselves—or others. This is not so much a book about Why God allows suffering or even How we should approach suffering—it is a book about the tremendously liberating and gloriously counterintuitive truth of a God who suffers with you and for you. It is a book, in other words, about the kind of hope that takes the shape of a cross.  Pain suffered by a Christian at the hands of another believer is one of the most destructive experiences one will ever know. Few recover completely. Many are destroyed from effective Christian living forever.Gene Edwards has crafted a beautiful and wholly unique book which points the wounded Christian to healing and to full restoration, even to triumph and ascension. If you have ever experienced unjust treatment from another believer, this monumental literary work is for you. From exquisite agony your life can enter into that of resurrection.   “Are you experiencing the destruction of conflict?”Whether it is with your spouse, your kids, at work or church, conflict is part of your life. It is never comfortable but resolving it God's way is essential part of building emotional and spiritual health.Resolve Conflict God's Way provides step-by-step guidance to redemptive conflict resolution and mending broken relationships. Through biblical principles and practical worksheets, you will learn new strategies to resolve conflict.If you are in the middle of conflict, you can make immediate changes by learning:·         When it is ok to get angry and when it is not ok.·         How to manage your anger so you do not destroy those you love.·         How to walk in true forgiveness even when the pain is great.·         How to deal with difficult people with God's love.·         When and how to overlook offenses and feel good about it.·         The ABC's of confessing your sin so others will forgive you.·         How to heal relationships by confronting others.·         When and how to bring others into the process. View the list »
“…restoring relationships is more important than being right…"

Western Religions newsletter

Dr. Bill Graybill wrote Resolve Conflict God’s Way to provide step-by-step guidance with practical worksheets, useful tips and online helps that teach Redemptive Management Conflict. It’s a management style that doesn’t destroy valuable relationships like “defensive conflict management” does. Instead, Bill’s biblical approach leads to personal, emotional and spiritual healing and restored relationships,

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He writes about a church he pastored where he planned to hire an associate pastor and spent a few months mentoring his selection and then decided to delay the hire. The man grew impatient, said Bill abused his leadership authority and retaliated with strife and division that split the church apart. The ensuing confrontation began what Bill describes as a “two-year nightmare of personal and church devastation” that led to this book.

The first chapter explores aspects of conflict and causes that includes personal, religious and even character assassination such as “judging others,” bitterness, fear and mistrust. This chapter includes a simple acrostic—AIM that identifies classic conflict responses:

Attack

Ignore

Manage

· Attacks set up a destructive win-lose scenario that can have “devastating long-term consequences” of abuse or legal action.

· Ignore is the most common method that buries conflict and encourages denial and deception.

· Manage with “redemptive conflict resolution,” extends God’s grace, meets with the offended person face-to-face or brings a mediator into the resolution process.

Chapters include scripture and end with self-examination worksheets and bonuses. The bonus in chapter one takes readers online to learn their conflict management style and where they fit in the AIM model: www.billgraybill.com/resolveconflictbonus Other chapters include topics such as prayer, faith, attitudes, anger, responsibility, forgiveness, self-control and more.

Although conflict is inevitable, broken relationships are not. Eugene Peterson endorsed Bills writing as a “must read for every Christian struggling with conflict.” The book is also included on Rick Warren’s leader’s library list.

Dr. Graybill says “…hurt people hurt people…impose their pain on others....” Readers who follow these teachings learn “…restoring relationships is more important than being right… because “bridges of reconciliation” provide better solutions.

I recommend and encourage anyone who struggles with relational conflict to read Resolve Conflict God’s Way. The benefits far outweigh the time and price! Bill is also available as a life coach: www.billgraybill.com/

**For some of Dr. Graybill’s favorite books check out “lists” that headlines the review**

‘Resolve Conflict God’s Way’ by Dr. Bill Graybill, BT Johnson Publishing, 2012, 187 Pages, 978-1938311024, $16.95—Kindle Edition, $9.95

Twitter: @GailWelborn

FaceBook: Gail Welborn

LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/pub/gail-welborn/33/71b/169

View the list
  •  “Are you experiencing the destruction of conflict?”Whether it is with your spouse, your kids, at work or church, conflict is part of your life. It is never comfortable but resolving it God's way is essential part of building emotional and spiritual health.Resolve Conflict God's Way provides step-by-step guidance to redemptive conflict resolution and mending broken relationships. Through biblical principles and practical worksheets, you will learn new strategies to resolve conflict.If you are in the middle of conflict, you can make immediate changes by learning:·         When it is ok to get angry and when it is not ok.·         How to manage your anger so you do not destroy those you love.·         How to walk in true forgiveness even when the pain is great.·         How to deal with difficult people with God's love.·         When and how to overlook offenses and feel good about it.·         The ABC's of confessing your sin so others will forgive you.·         How to heal relationships by confronting others.·         When and how to bring others into the process. 
  •  Pain suffered by a Christian at the hands of another believer is one of the most destructive experiences one will ever know. Few recover completely. Many are destroyed from effective Christian living forever.Gene Edwards has crafted a beautiful and wholly unique book which points the wounded Christian to healing and to full restoration, even to triumph and ascension. If you have ever experienced unjust treatment from another believer, this monumental literary work is for you. From exquisite agony your life can enter into that of resurrection.  
  •  In this world, one thing is certain: Everybody hurts. Suffering may take the form of tragedy, heartbreak, or addiction. Or it could be something more mundane (but no less real) like resentment, loneliness, or disappointment. But there’s unfortunately no such thing as a painless life. In Glorious Ruin, best-selling author Tullian Tchividjian takes an honest and refreshing look at the reality of suffering, the ways we tie ourselves in knots trying to deal with it, and the comfort of the gospel for those who can’t seem to fix themselves—or others. This is not so much a book about Why God allows suffering or even How we should approach suffering—it is a book about the tremendously liberating and gloriously counterintuitive truth of a God who suffers with you and for you. It is a book, in other words, about the kind of hope that takes the shape of a cross. 
  •  God Meant It For Good traces the stages of Joseph's life as he matures from a young and impetuous man to one who is prepared to leave his own vindication with God. It presents a case study in total forgiveness exemplified by Joseph's reconciliation with his brothers and applies it to Christian living today.This classic book will challenge, provoke, transform and excite, as the God who taught Joseph to love, forgive and serve, is the God who meant it for good. 
  •  Conflict abounds in the church of Jesus Christ. Reconciliation within the body, however, will not happen with the right "method" or "set of principles". In Making Peace, readers are challenged to place their church and all of its dissension under the Lordship of Jesus Christ.JIM VAN YPEREN (B.A., Wheaton College; M.A., Wheaton Graduate School) is the Founder and Executive Director of Metanoia Ministries, a non-profit Christian ministry serving evangelical churches in conflict reconciliation and leadership formation. Jim is the author of Making Peace: A Guide to Overcoming Church Conflict. He and his wife, Sharon, reside on a small sheep farm in East Washington, New Hampshire. They have two adult children.
  •  Every church will experience conflicts. How a church handles these inevitable conflicts determines its future and the spiritual health of its members. If properly approached, church conflicts can be used for spiritual growth--both individually and corporately as the body of Christ. Redeeming church conflicts--making something glorious out of something awful--provides evidence to a watching world that the gospel is real and powerful.In this purposeful and practical book, two church-conflict resolution experts take readers through the Acts 15 model of approaching conflict in order to help them understand the intricacies of their church conflict. The book provides a clear, godly way forward into redemptive reconciliation, regardless of how the people involved in the conflict respond or fail to respond.
  •  R.T. Kendall has given us a treasure…the hope and possibility of experiencing incredible freedom and peace that can only come when we walk in total forgiveness.One of the core messages of the gospel is that of total forgiveness…not only that we can be totally forgiven by God, but also that we must, in turn, totally forgive others. Our culture is bound up in bitterness, resentment, and wallowing in wounds inflicted upon us by others, wounds that we all too easily accept and even cling to!This revised and updated best seller lovingly challenges believers to look within and root out those hidden and hardened places where subtle resentments and areas of un-forgiveness have been allowed to remain. 
View the list
Suggested by the author:

, Washington Christian Book Review Examiner

Gail's articles and book reviews appear in a variety of national and local publications and on the Internet. She loves to read, and believes God teaches and instructs her in which way to go, according to Jeremiah 29:11. She and her husband live beside the Skagit River in Washington state.

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