In a recent book review, I bemoaned the fact that I despise Candyland - well, all games, really - and find it a parental challenge to 1) play games with my kids and b) be a good sport and try not to win and scream, "IN YOUR FACE!." That's just bad form.
And along with things I hate doing as a parent is taking my kids to play in the giant, undulating bowl of butt soup - the indoor water park.
Last week was the final week before school started, and I was "celebrating" with the kids (my celebration doesn't happen until the first day of school, when I wave goodbye to them and then dance around the house in joy while shotgunning mimosas) by taking the various places. Some of this was funded with coupons they received for free activities from the community summer reading program, so it wasn't bad for the budget.
But these outings can be detrimental to my sanity. Hence, the "Portland's Best Places to Fart" list - kid and indigestion friendly places to let 'er rip in the greatest city in the world. Because farting is important for good health.