Cecil Murphey, better known as “Cec” with co-author Gary Roe write about childhood sexual molestation from a male survivor’s perspective in Not Quite Healed. After sexually traumatic childhood circumstances left confusion, fear and scars behind when a trusted adult betrayed them. This is the story of their journey toward healing and the “forty truth’s” they learned that taught them “healing from sexual abuse is a process not a one-time event.”
Since Cec and Gary are “fellow pilgrims on the road to healing” each of forty chapter’s include personal stories and insights from them both that end with simple statements of truth they learned on their journeys. Statements that they hope will encourage others to study, memorize and recite when lingering effects of childhood sexual abuse arise. Such as:
· I am not quite healed; I am a healing-in-progress.
· I can’t change the past, but I can pick up the painful pieces and become whole.
· My childhood was stolen…
· Admitting I need help is a sign of humility, not weakness…
· Reaching out for help is a sign of courage…
· Pornography is only a substitute for intimacy…
Chapters include their battles with shame, confusion, doubt and broken trust that scarred them as children with what they call the “gift that keeps on giving” when they entered adulthood. Their candid accounts portray the devastation of childhood sexual abuse and it’s haunting after effects.
Cec begins with the question “Shouldn't I be Healed by Now” the topic of chapter one, where he says he’s “closer to total victory…” yet frankly admits he still isn't completely healed. Even though he works on and desires “complete emotional healing.”
In the same chapter Gary writes about his feelings of childhood neglect and the need to find the “mother love” he never received that left him with feelings of abandonment where he felt “unloved and un-loveable.” This unmet basic need made Gary easy to victimize because he was a “needy kid” susceptible to child molesters who “…gravitate toward unfulfilled and disadvantaged children.”
Children who are sexually abused struggle with feelings of victimization, same-sex attractions, pornography, forgiveness and other issues as adult men. The American Psychological Association documents what parents should know about the characteristics and effects of childhood sexual abuse.
The book is not an easy read and I’m equally sure it wasn’t easy to write. Yet, Gary and Cec write with honest transparency about a for-the-most-part “hushed topic” to encourage and help others toward healing. Visit Cec’s blog: Shattering the Silence to read about or share stories of other survivors and their remarkable journeys. Or listen to Cec’s YouTube interview on childhood sexual abuse
Not Quite Healed, by Cecil Murphey & Gary Roe, Kregel Publishing, 2013, 288 Pages, 978-0825442704, $14.99
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