Have you ever had the experience where someone makes you mad, really angry and in that moment you either didn't know what to say, or you cuss, hurl insults, flip a certain finger, yell, scream, throw a fit, or act in some other seemingly uncontrollable manner?
Maybe in the moment of confrontation you go into a rage, attack, cry, pout, run away, or can't wait to go home so you can tell your spouse, tell this person off on Facebook, slide into emotional eating, pick up take-out or make gooey fattening comfort food and chow down into oblivion.
I have great news!! A healthy, non-calorie, FREE alternative you can use on yourself to calm your central nervous system! I've found relief from the anxiety experienced during those highly charged confrontations. Plus, I've learned WHY I never seem to know what to say in that hostile moment.
It's how we're wired, and it has everything to do with the fight or flight response! The amygdala in our brains is actually so busy trying to figure out if we should scream or flee from the offending person that the analytical part of our brain can't get a word in, or out! Seems funny to say that now but it really is what happens and that too, is frustrating - causing us even more irritation in the moment!
The confrontation ends and a few minutes later, or an hour, or a day, we think to ourselves, "why didn't I say...".
For me I'd like to walk away, laugh and shrug it all off. Instead, even if it's to myself, I get irritated and say "get a life", or something else without giving it any conscious thought. I don't like that. I'd like to always be in control of the words that come out of my mouth. Wouldn't you?
I'd like to say anything other than hurl an insult (which I admit is rare but has happened). I hear people say, "it is what it is", "life goes on", "God bless you", or simply laugh and shrug it off, never to give it any more thought. Me? Noooo...
I bring it all home and stew about it. Which leads to negativity. And if I carry it around long enough it could affect my health. Of course sometimes I win.
In fact now, I win more with myself everyday. I choose to let it all go, right then, right in the moment. Ahhh. Before, how I felt depended on whatever had influenced my day. Now, I really have a choice!
I learned about EFT years ago when I learned about acupuncture and the meridian system of the body. I even went to an EFT coach for one-on-one help with a couple of issues. Later I took some friends to the EFT coach. But this past year or so I've been practicing EFT / Tapping much more regularly for a host of things, and I love it! And now I am talking and writing about it.
On Sept. 5, 2013 I gave my first FREE public EFT / Tapping presentation!
I really enjoyed sharing this information with new friends at our RV park and plan to do it again SOON.
Seven people came out for the event, and I've already received heartwarming feedback. It's helped people feel better, and that's the whole point. Relief! Results!
The attendees were: a senior couple, three single ladies, a single guy, and my husband (8 including me)! Woot! The single gentleman was concerned for his doggie at home - who experiences storm anxiety so we even tapped about that! Great group! So open to learning, sharing, and tapping together! We tapped on anxiety, on the economy/government/politics, and all the stormy weather we've been having this lately in St. Pete.
If you don't have a clue about EFT / Tapping, I have several websites I can point you to and videos. I'll include several links below.
Here are the basics:
Talk about your problem, negative feelings, anything unwanted, sad emotion, depressing thing that's going on IN THE MOMENT while tapping on the side of one hand with two or three fingers from the other hand. Rate on a scale of 1-10 how much you're feeling the negative or unwanted emotion before you start and after you end. This will help you to know the Tapping provided relief.
Say this "problem" 3 times, beginning with "Even though" and ending with "I deeply and completely love and accept myself or something about myself that I believe is true about ME, like: my body, my soul, my feelings, my emotions, my name, etc.)". You will want the statement to be true, so you can use your own words, the ones that resonate your truth. Here are some examples of this:
The scenario: A clerk is short, brisk, rude or some such thing and it upsets me. I walk out in a huff vowing to myself never to go back to that store again! I feel the irritation and maybe even anger in my body. I do not want to carry that negative emotion to the next interaction I have with anyone, much less all day, much less all week, etc. So as I leave the store and enter my car I say out loud to myself while tapping the side of my hand:
- Even though I'm so annoyed with that !@#$ clerk at the store, and my anger is warranted, I could have just (insert what you usually say here, punched, kicked, yelled, cussed) at or to her, I deeply and completely accept my feelings
- Even though that clerk was really rude to me, she totally ticked me off, I deeply and completely honor my soul
- Even though she was a stupid, ignorant, jerk, idiot, moron, you name it... and should have thought before she spoke, I deeply and completely love and respect myself
Now, I move through the rest of the tapping points, choosing one word from anything I just said about the problem to reinforce to my brain that I really did feel / experience this issue:
For each point tap 5 to 7 times, not necessary to count them just tap and talk and go with the flow. Also these words are just an example, say whatever your feeling. I realize you may not know what word to associate with the feeling but with practice that will come easier and easier.
- Inside beginning of the eyebrow (Say out loud): I'm so irritated
- Side of the eye: I say - I'm very frustrated
- Below the eye: Ugh, I'm Upset
- Below the nose and above the upper lip: Angry
- Below the bottom lip, in the crease of the chin: I feel bullied
- Collarbone point(s): Annoyed
- Under the arm*: I'm really Mad
- Top of the head: Flustered
- Take a nice big deep breath
The under arm point for women is at the bra line, for men it's about a hand width from the arm pit.
Repeat this process two or three more times, using different words. Hopefully you'll notice that you're choosing easier, lighter words because by the second or third round you're feeling better! I've found the second round goes something like this:
- Even though I got upset during that confrontation at the store, and believe I'm justified to feel the way I do, I deeply and completely choose to somehow get over it
- Even though that clerk was a jerk, she probably didn't set out to ruin, or spoil my day, I deeply and completely love and accept my intentions
- Even though people should be nicer, I would like to practice what I preach, somehow forgive, and deeply and completely tune into some good feelings now
- Inside beginning of the eyebrow: (tap 5-7 times on each of these points) Say out loud: I'm still aggravated
- Side of the eye: I say - But somehow I want to let it go
- Below the eye: That silly clerk, what was she thinking?
- Below the nose and above the upper lip: Spoil my day
- Below the bottom lip, in the crease of the chin: I'm justified in how I feel
- Collarbone point(s): but I don't want this to ruin my day
- Under the arm*: I didn't do anything wrong
- Top of the head: I played no part in that
- Take a nice big deep breath
- Even though all my feelings about this situation seem warranted, I deeply and completely comfort myself
- Even though people may not always act their best, I deeply and completely honor all of my choices
- Even though people make mistakes, I want to forgive and live in a state of gratitude no matter what is going on around me, I deeply and completely love and accept myself
- Inside beginning of the eyebrow: (tap 5-7 times on each of these points) Say out loud: I'm feeling a little less upset
- Side of the eye: I say - I'm still a bit annoyed
- Below the eye: Because I don't understand some people
- Below the nose and above the upper lip: But I don't want to carry this around like baggage all day
- Below the bottom lip, in the crease of the chin: So, somehow I choose to let it go
- Collarbone point(s): She's already forgotten about it I bet
- Under the arm*: I have no reason to continue to think about it either
- Top of the head: So I guess letting it go really does feel better
- Take a nice big deep breath
Here are the links to more on EFT / Tapping - pick the one that best suits your needs!
The Tapping Solution - Nick Ortner
How EFT works in the brain - Nick Ortner
EFT - Gary Craig
Anxiety tapping - Margaret Lynch
EFT for digestion - Julie Schiffman of Dr. Mercola Center
Special thanks to those who assisted me during our presentation evening:
Thanks to my wonderful soul-sister "test" tapping model - Lola!!!
Special thanks to Monica, our Bickley RV park activities director for setting it all up, making coffee, and making everyone feel at home!
Responses about EFT results I've received:
"You were terrific! Thanks for the wonderful presentation on EFT!! It works!!"
"Oh, you'll enjoy this! M. has her 3 year grand daughter tapping! Is that too cool?!?!
You are amazing Sheila! Hope you have a wonderful day!
"I wanted to thank you SO MUCH for the knowledge you shared on your site. I clicked on the EFT tapping menu tab and have been doing the tapping for the last three days after watching the video, reading about it and printing out the instructions. I have been tapping about body pain and also for anxiety and so far, it is helping a great deal thus, I am MOST GRATEFUL to YOU for passing along this knowledge. I have forwarded the information to two others..."
Take it upon yourself to be healthy, joyful, vibrant, and beautiful. Be who you want to be.
Information provided is for educational purposes only and is not intended to treat, diagnose or prescribe.