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MEN: Top ten ways to lose your relationship

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  1. Treat your significant other as if they are a piece of furniture. Something you use but can throw in the trash anytime you want.

  1. Text your significant other 25-50 times in one day. Especially if they are in the middle of an important work meeting and this incessant texting may cost them their job.

  1. If she does not respond to your text; call her. Call her until she throws her phone against the wall and breaks it.

  1. Go to her work and harass her about “why did she break her phone?”

  1. And then send her flowers to say how sorry you are.

  1. Talk about yourself. No really spend every waking minute just talking about yourself. Go ahead and ask how her day was but don’t listen and don’t show any real interest.

  1. When you go out to dinner for her birthday, make sure you pick the restaurant you want to go to.

  1. Tell her you will order for her to save money and order her the cheapest thing on the menu while you eat the most expensive and make her feel really, really bad for wanting a small bite of your meal.

  2. Yes, flirt with the waitress. Don’t just flirt with her, obviously glare at her until both your significant other and the waitress feel very uncomfortable. Don’t worry, you won’t notice their disgust at your behavior, you are too busy thinking you have the world’s attention.

  3. When you get back to your place and the electricity is turned off, blame her for not paying the bill, even though you control all of the money and pay (or in this case do not pay) all of the bills. It is still her fault. It always is.

These ten steps are a sure way for any many to lose that woman he holds so dear, controls so completely and manipulates to the detriment of his relationship and her well being.

You go guys. You can do it. I know you can.

As always - Kyle

Love Rob Carr/Getty Images


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