Life with an alcoholic

Do not feel embarrassed or ashamed. Many people feel ashamed or embarrassed to have to live their life with an alcoholic, but you should not feel this way.Alcoholism is an awful disease. Millions of people from all lifestyles and all ages have to deal with this dreadful disease. You should not feel ashamed—you are not alone.It does not make things better by keeping the problem a secret!Never get into a car with a driver who has been drinking.Trust your instincts. If you sense that the person driving the car has had too much alcohol to drink, find an alternatively safe way to get to where you are going. If you are in a safe place, stay there.Try to help the person in your life who has a problem with alcohol.  Let them know you are there to listen and give them support when they are sober. Do not judge them.  Help them find help with his or her alcoholism by getting involved in organizations like Alcoholics Anonymous (AA), or Al-anon.View the list ยป
Life with an alcoholic can be like living on an emotional roller-coaster. Family life and alcoholism do not mix!

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Life with an alcoholic is scary, dangerous, and can be life threatening. One in four people under the age of 18 years live with a family damaged by alcoholism.

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Some of the problems people face while living with problem drinkers are unpredictable behavior and embarrassment. The victims become confused and anxious about the behavior of the alcoholic in the family or immediate surroundings.

They also fear that the alcoholic will get hurt, sick, or die. People troubled with someone's excessive alcohol consumption also get frequent stomachaches and headaches from stress.

Additional feelings felt by people living their life with an alcoholic are guilt, fear that something might happen, and anger.

Problem drinkers rip apart close and loving relationships with conflict and anger. They also spend much-needed money on alcohol or hospitalization due to alcohol-related problems. They create an unpredictable atmosphere and environment.

They do poorly at work or miss a lot of work. They appear and act angry or sad most of the time. They show two personalities; they act one way when sober and another way when they are intoxicated.

There is one thing all alcoholics have in common; as time passes, the drinking gets worse.

How does one cope with someone in his or her life who drinks too much alcohol? How do we help the problem drinker get the help he or she needs?

The following pages show some things we can do and should not do when our life with an alcoholic needs help. Click on View the list to get additional information for advice, support, and safety.

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  • Try to help the person in your life who has a problem with alcohol.  Let them know you are there to listen and give them support when they are sober. Do not judge them.  Help them find help with his or her alcoholism by getting involved in organizations like Alcoholics Anonymous (AA), or Al-anon.
  • Never get into a car with a driver who has been drinking.Trust your instincts. If you sense that the person driving the car has had too much alcohol to drink, find an alternatively safe way to get to where you are going. If you are in a safe place, stay there.
  • Do not feel embarrassed or ashamed. Many people feel ashamed or embarrassed to have to live their life with an alcoholic, but you should not feel this way.Alcoholism is an awful disease. Millions of people from all lifestyles and all ages have to deal with this dreadful disease. You should not feel ashamed—you are not alone.It does not make things better by keeping the problem a secret!
  • Try to find a safe place. If you’re with someone who becomes violent or abusive when he or she drinks, ensure that you have a safe place to go in case of an emergency, like someone you trust or a neighbor's home.Call a hotline. There are many organizations to help the families of alcoholics. In a private moment, call one of these confidential phone numbers for help and support. The National Council on Alcoholism and Drug Dependence provides information on counseling and treatment services for drug and alcohol abuse.  They also have prevention, education programs, and newsletters for your review.  They can be reached at (800) 622-2255, 24 hours a day.  There website is http://www.ncadd.org. 
  • Do not try to reason with an intoxicated person.  Drunken people cannot think clearly, because as you probably know, alcohol affects the brain.When you see someone has already had too much to drunk, this is definitely not the right time to talk to that person about his or her drinking trouble. They almost certainly will not be able to understand what you are saying and they might get angry with you.  They may not even remember the conversation later.
  • Life with an alcoholic is by no means easy.  Moreover, family life and alcoholism do not mix!Living with an alcoholic is like being on an emotional roller coaster, or a living-hell. People who live with an alcoholic tend to have feelings of depression and guilty.  They feel hopelessness, fear, anger, and shame.  Ultimately, they blame themselves. Do not ignore the problem.  Seek counseling and if you have to, leave the relationship.  Get online help, or help from AA or Al-anon.
  • Talk to someone you trust.Be sure to be honest about what you are going through and ask how you can get help.It can be a mistake by not getting outside help if you try to "keep it in the family." Professional counselors know how to handle alcoholism better than anyone else does, and you should not feel ashamed to admit that you need a helping hand.
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, Coudersport Healthy Living Examiner

George Zapo is certified in Public Health Promotion & Education (Kent State University). George focuses on providing sound advice on global, public and environmental health. Read more articles by George Zapo at "Healthy Habits" website: georgezapo.com

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