With the hot summer months quickly approaching, party people everywhere will soon be leaving the dark depths of nightclubs to bask in the sunlight and rage in the pools of day clubs.
Day clubs have proven over the years to be the ultimate party experience, with seamlessly combining the hottest DJs, lavish pools, bikini-clad patrons, and that special something that makes grown adults act like fools when near a body of water.
Whatever this trigger is we'll never know... Remember all the antics that would ensure at childhood pool parties? Well, not much has changed, except now your mother isn't there to tell you to behave. Although it has become clear in my personal experience that some people may need their mommy's around because they still haven't figured out some basics of decent human behavior.
No, I'm not here to nag about how you need to get out of the pool and dry off before you go in the house, or tell you how to party. But I would like to give you a little perceptive on some unofficial rules of day clubs, these will ensure that you and everyone around you making the most out of your pool party experience.
Play with the balls…gently!
All proper day clubs have a variety of inflatable toys ranging from animals, to tubes, and of course the ubiquitous beach ball! Although the idea is pleasant, the reality is that these balls become weapons at the hands of immature, drunk, and overly-testosteroned men. The pool will quickly turn into a lethal game of dodgeball as males in the area compete to see who can throw the hardest or cause the most damage to their buddy. This horsing around will inevitably chase women away. Getting your designer sunglasses smashed, having your drink spilled or getting clocked in the nose by rouge beach ball is not on the to-do list for any woman. Until these guys calm down the pool will remain a preverbal sausage soup, so play nicely!
Big heels, big hair, you care…way too much!
I would definitely consider myself a connoisseur of all things beauty. I own way too much makeup, spend too much time on clothes, and just like any proper woman I do take my hair/makeup/fashion into consideration when attending a day club. But that’s where the similarities between myself and the overly-primped ladies at pools end. The reality of a day club is that… well… there’s water. Lots of it. And unless you show up as bubble boy you are going to get some on you, it might be from the cabana misters, people splashing around, champagne showers or heaven forbid you might actually start melting in the 100 degree heat and get in the pool to cool down. The best part of these day clubs is that, unlike the nightclubs, you don’t have to spend hours doing your hair and makeup, to stuff yourself and into a bandage dress that cuts off circulations to your ligaments and then end up with blisters and permanent damage to your feet after standing in stilettos all night. Show off your hot body in your new bikini, but leave the 6 inch heels at home.
Wear shoes into the bathroom
I cant believe I even have to mention this, but it never fails that on any given bathroom trip, I will witness numerous men and women heading into the loo with no shoes on. EWWW! How this happens is mind boggling, you are in a public restroom! Put your shoes on!
The sun can become your enemy
At a day club you're definitely going to be in a battle with the sun. Not only can you suffer from serious burns and become dehydrated, but worst of all, your foolishness can no longer be hidden in the darkness of night. It’s bright out here and we can see everything… people falling, passed out and being carted off by paramedics, and it’s easy to spot someone who found Molly or some other unknown substance and can no longer keep it together. All of these things would probably go unnoticed in the dark trenches of a nightclub but out here, under the sun, you’re ruining the vibes by being wheelchaired out, or that look you have on your face while checking out women doesn’t go unnoticed, and you've officially been labeled as 'creepy.'
No one came here to see you perform
Maybe it’s the alcohol, maybe it’s the narcissistic, selfie-fuel culture that we live in, but sometimes people at day clubs (and night clubs…) think that we all showed up to watch them perform. Dance around, shake your ass, have at it! But, when you have to repeatedly told to remove yourself from the actual performers platforms, use random pieces of structure to bust out your pole class moves or if you’re impeding on other peoples space/view you should probably stop. And if you’re a guy, there are no exceptions, keep your feet firmly planted to the ground. Leave the show to the pros!
Don't post up at the DJ booth
Day clubs offer very little to no buffer between crazed fans and super star DJ’s, this immediately becomes an invitation to annoy the performer and security. From insistent requests for pictures, to song requests, to failed attempts at becoming an official groupie...the situation can become quit desperate. Clam yourself down… grab two quick photos... then return to the party!