I was flipping through the sports channels one afternoon a few weeks ago looking to quench my thirst for some competition. ESPN, FoxSports, ESPN2, NBC Sports, Deportes Telmundo, ESPNU and nothing. It was a slow sports day apparently, no games, no soccer, no women’s beach volleyball. Nothing. Nada, zilch, not even a monster truck rally.
Then by chance I landed on an obscure cable network, one of those channels with eight or nine initials in it, promising a show called “Drag Racing Today”. It was due to start in ten minutes so I rushed off to the kitchen, grabbed a bowl of chips, some dip and a six-pack of Coors Light.
I immediately recalled all of the big names piloting those muscle cars burning nitro and ejecting a parachute when they hit the finish line. The wheelies were cool too. Big Daddy Don Garlitz, Tom the Mongoose McEwen, Shirley Muldowney and Don Prudhomme, all heavyweights in this exciting sport and I was pumped. The stoplight cruised its colors from red to yellow to green and these guys do 0-60 in a blink of the eye. It’s an exciting sport with tracks dotting small towns and big cities throughout the country.
Unfortunately when the program came on it was something I had never heard of nor bargained for. I had never heard of these drag racers. RuPaul, Jinkx Monsoon and Cookie Buffet. (I think it’s pronounced Boofey, the ‘T’ is silent.)
All of these guys were running against each other in evening gowns and spiked toe-less heels. I could tell they were guys because they had Adam’s apples. Running against each in other in dashes and relay races and when they won they hit the winner’s podium and received a 6-inch life-sized golden statue of Tom Cruise. Huh. Was this drag racing today? When I saw it I almost dropped my bowl of chips and beer started coming out of my nose as I stared at the screen in disbelief.
Anyway, I was luck enough to find a rerun of “Tin Cup” on the Golf Channel and I managed to survive the afternoon.
As evening approached I needed a quick fix for dinner and like the drag racing queens and I needed to be fast.
Check out the list for a speedy supper, a quick drink and a fast dessert, all drag racing themed.
Just one thing. How did those queens run so fast in spiked heels?
Happy drag racing everybody.