Don't pretend you've never been there. The ex calls, says a few nice things, cracks a few inside jokes you two used to share, and sometimes even flirts with the "what ifs". It would be okay if it stopped there, but sometimes that one call can take you into a world of confusion. Were things as bad as I thought they were? What could we be if we were still together now? It's very common to have mixed feelings arise when someone from your past contacts you, especially if you were once in love with that person. However, it's important to maintain your progression to happiness instead of backtracking into a situation you know you don't belong in. Here are a few tips on how to handle the moments with your ex in a way that doesn't cause a relapse.
Set a time limit
If you know that conversations with your ex can cause you to begin feeling confused or emotional, don't be afraid to set yourself a time limit for the phone call in advance. If you know that the conversations take a turn for the worst after so much time, limit yourself to a brief, cordial catch up time frame, and politely end the call. There is no need to explain to him the reason why you can't talk to him long.
Keep your emotions in check
Sometimes it's not the ex that steers the conversation the wrong way. Sometimes it's you that finds yourself getting emotional and wanting to ask why, and get answers to questions you've asked over and over again. Remember that the past is the past. You don't have to have the "we never got closure" talk everytime your ex chooses to reach out to you, because more than likely you've been had it. You're just not happy with the results of it. Fight your urge to look like the bitter, emotional woman that can't keep it together without him.
No pictures or videos
In these times, it's extremely common for couples to exchange photos, many of which can be steamy. We all know that it is not only inappropriate to still send pics and videos to your ex, but that it is also risky. Your ex is no longer your partner, and has no obligation to you, which means he has no obligation to be private about you anymore. Even if you trust your ex completely, sending pics and videos of yourself is a bad idea. You never know who may accidentally get their hands on the items, especially if your ex is seeing other women. Keep in mind that your ex is no longer your partner, and doesn't deserve that kind of access to you anymore.
Don't be afraid to shut it down
If your ex does begin to try and whisper sweet nothings, don't be afraid to stop him in his tracks, and remind him that the past needs to be left in the past. You don't have to scream profanities or try to hurt him, but be firm. Let him know you no longer fall for those things, and that it's pointless to try to sway you from the path you have chosen to take. It is when he sees that you have started to respect yourself that he may start to respect you enough to let you move on with your life without trying to throw you curve balls.