It's BYU-Utah State, or the missionaries versus the hicks on Friday Night Football up in Logan, er, Cache Valley. Or it's the hick-sionaries versus the missionaries and hicks. Oh, who knows? They all look alike! All you should know is that BYU travels up to Utah State to take on the Aggies in the umpteenth rendition of this rivalry.
Agriculture is a big part of life up in the CV but BYU is fixing to milk a win out of this mineral-rich land and Utah State intends to poison the same land the Cougars are farming so that BYU falls ill and Utah State wins for the first time in years.
Other than that both teams have two losses apiece so there are in-state bragging rights and perhaps a bowl with a higher payout to play for.
If all goes well the Cougars might even head over for what the area is really known for -- and that's a tall glass of non-toxic, homogenized vitamin D milk after winning their second game straight.
In this column the "Believer" being of sound mind, body and spirit blah blah blah will put up his USU dukes against our "Non-Believer," a cynical, possibly lactose intolerant BYU creature who would slam a few non-dairy products back and belch his ABC's forward and backwards -- in one burp.
Wipe off your milk mustaches, get out the Lactaid and let the fun begin!