Do you wish your partner would do things your way? Wouldn't life be better for both of you?
While you might exert control at work to keep things running smoothly, this type of thinking doesn't serve your relationships at home. When you bark orders to an unsuspecting boyfriend or girlfriend like you would to a subordinate, resentment can take hold.
Controlling your partner isn't the answer, nor is telling him what to do. Good relationships are created from compromise - from both sides willing to listen and respect the other. We all do things differently, and one way isn't necessarily better than another (even if you think this is the case). "Winning" or "being right" isn't the goal, but we're sometimes hesitant to see this when we want things our way.
Following are some ways you might be exerting too much control in your relationships:
You get nervous when things don't go according to plan.
If you are uncomfortable when things seem out of place or angry when they don't go your way, you probably seek to control your environment so you feel more relaxed. Instead of looking at what's outside of your control, try looking internally - how you can approach the situation in a different way. You can't prevent things from going wrong occasionally, so don't try.
You have too many expectations of your partner.
Do you have a picture in your head of what your partner should be like? For the sake of your relationship, you need to let it go ASAP. Instead of trying to change your partner, work on accepting him/ her for who he is.
You have to have the final word.
In a relationship, there are no winners and losers. If you always try to have the final word, or "one up" your partner, or somehow prove him wrong, you're fighting a losing battle. Instead, it's important to figure out how to communicate better. Instead of putting each other on the defensive with accusations, try expressing your feelings instead. "It makes me feel unappreciated when you don't offer to help me out with cooking" instead of "you never help me in the kitchen!"
You give a lot of unsolicited advice.
Are you the type to tell your partner what to do, even if he doesn't ask? Nobody wants to feel married to a parent. If you're frustrated with your partner's behavior, approach him by expressing how you feel, not by telling him what to do. Do you want a rebellious teenager, or a partner?
Try a new approach.
To ease the tension between the two of you, take a step back, regroup, and accept help more often. You don't have to take charge of everything, and in fact - it's much better if you don't. Allow him to do things his way, even if it's not your way. He will rise to the occasion if you give him a chance.