'American Horror Story' best quotes from Asylum

When Alma tells him the roast is almost ready: "That’s not what I’m hungry for."To Alma: "The world is wrong.""There is no God. Not a God who would create the things I saw.""I'm not crazy."To Lana: "I'd have done the same thing if I believed what you believe but I'm innocent."Kit: Dr. Thredson, he... he said some things that are starting to make sense.Grace: Well, if you were crazy, they wouldn't make sense to you. Self-doubt is a sure sign of sanity.Kit: Wait, you're confusing me. If... you're saying that if I'm crazy, then I wouldn't believe Dr. Threadson, but if I'm sane, then my crazy stories would be true?Grace: I have no idea what you just said.To Thredson: "You are one sick twist!""Daddy will be there in a minute."To Jude when she sees the Angel of Death and he can't: "I'm here. I'm not going to leave you alone."After Kit tells Lana that Jude said she's not alone, "she" is here.Kit: "I don't know who she was talking about."Lana: "I do." Art by David Desbois, 2.5 x 3.5 inch sketch card/watercolor/marker: http://daviddeb.deviantart.com/art/Institutionalized-347900312 Before her commitment: "I'm telling you that battle-axe has secrets. Under all that piousness and fidelity there's a real darkness."To Sister Mary Eunice: "What were you feeding out there? I guess I'll have to ask Sr. Jude...she scares you, doesn't she? She scares you to death. Let me look around and I won't tell Sr. Horrible about your night-time forays or your secret tunnel."To an unconscious Thredson: "One day, I'll bury you."To Thredson: "After they do knife count, I’m gonna pocket one. Then I’m going to come back tonight and slit your throat nice and easy. I always wanted to know what it was like inside the mind of a killer. Now I know.""You think I'm crazy. Oh, wait. That'd be you. I think we established that when you chained me to the bed and called me Mommy."To Thredson when he asks her if she'll keep the baby now that she's out of Briarcliff: "Not a chance in hell."To Thredson when she says she'll find a way to get the tape to the police and he looks surprised, "You know I can do it, Oliver. I’m goddamned plucky, remember?”“This is a mercy killing, Oliver. No child should ever have to grow up knowing his Daddy was Bloody Face.”"I am tough. But I'm no cookie." To Kit, regarding a book about Leigh: "I thought of calling it Santa and the Seven Nuns. Too campy?"About reporters: "We are vultures, attracted to the scent of rotted meat."About the Monsignor: "That man was a particular kind of liar, the kind who lies to himself about being a liar. He was so corrupt and deluded, he believed his own lies. Lies are like scars on your soul. They destroy you."To Johnny: "Let's get this over with, shall we?" Art by Ylenia: http://magiciscoming.deviantart.com/art/Lana-Banana-347587077"I realize you're likely unfamiliar with the work of B.F. Skinner but positive reinforcement is proven to be far more effective. In lay terms, Sister, a little compassion would go a long way.""You have quite a suspicious mind, Sister, bordering on the delusional. Or maybe it’s just a form of projection. A defense to protect your own guilty conscience."To Lana when she sees the lamp: "I see you found my little ... hobby.""We're going to continue our therapy now, Lana. You can begin... by kissing her cold lips. Don't worry. she won't bite. I took her teeth.""A mother's touch. Skin to skin contact. That's what I was craving, that's what I was missing. My whole life. But she smelled of formaldehyde. And her skin, even after I removed it, was cold. And stiff."To Lana: "I can either cut your throat or I can strangle you. I don't believe in guns."To Lana when she suggests he'll kill her as soon as the baby is born, "No. I'll have to keep you around to breast-feed that baby for at least the first year. The health benefits are myriad."When Lana suggests he will fry in the electric chair: "I hardly think so, Lana ... I'm clearly insane."To Johnny, in his hallucination: "I loved you even when you were still in your mother's womb. I'd have given anything to be a real father to you, but she kept us apart. I had so much love to give you, son. But she stole it from you. From both of us. " Art by Amanda Rae using acrylic, watercolor and airbrushing on Corel Painter 12:  http://marvelhero.deviantart.com/art/Cure-My-Disease-341275184View the list »
"Mental illness is the fashionable explanation for sin."To Kit: ""I wonder, did her dark meat slide off the bone any easier than the other victims?""All monsters are human."In response to Arden's statement that the Monsignor made a gentleman's agreement with him: "Curious, since only one of you is a gentleman.""Who would you like to call, Ms. Winters? The American Civil Lesbians Union?"""A sexual deviant, a Mexican, and a pinhead won't get far in this storm. I hope they drown.""So, Anne Frank, is it? What a relief it will be to millions of schoolchildren to know you survived.""My mother was pouring herself a whiskey--the Martin family cure for everything. She looked at me and laughed. 'God always answers our prayers, Judy. It's just rarely... the answer we're looking for.' ""It's an extraordinary thing. You know that? You throw me in the madhouse, you strip away everything I have, everything I know, you treat me like a rabid dog, like a madwoman. And you know what happens? I'm blessed with the gift of total clarity. I am more sane now as a madwoman than I ever was as the head of Briarcliff."After seeing The Flying Nun on TV: "They don't know, but I don't need the hat. I can fly without it. One of these days I'm gonna fly my ass right outta here!""Childish? Hell, I'm the queen of Candy Land.""Miss Lana Banana. Just remember. If you look in the face of evil, evil's going to look right back at you." Art by Ismael Alvarado:  http://ismacomics.deviantart.com/art/Santa-Sister-Jude-354911430

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Hard to believe that the second season FX's anthology show "American Horror Story" outdid the first in the darkness of its gruesome and sensational stories. Season one, Murder House, brought viewers a delicious Romeo and Juliet love story between teen Violet (Taissa Farmiga) and the ghost of a Columbine-style killer (Evan Peters), later revealed to have impregnated Violet's mom with the Antichrist. Ghosts peopled the home, racked with decades of violence, including multiple murders, copycat crimes, suicides, abortions, urban legends, and dismemberments. Even true life crime's Black Dahlia (Mena Suvari) made an appearance.

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What could possibly top that? Try a former TB center turned institution for the criminally insane in 1964, when electroshock therapy and pre-frontal lobotomy were all the rage, run by a cruel and overzealous nun (Jessica Lange). Asylum, the show's second season, threw into that setting serial killer Bloody Face (Zachary Quinto), known to skin his female victims alive and use the spoils to fashion lampshades.

A young man (Peters), judged for his marriage to a black woman (Britne Oldford), is falsely accused of being Bloody Face. Add to that mix alien abductions, a former Nazi doctor (James Cromwell) experimenting on patients (and his victims, the ravenous, flesh-eating raspers), a power-hungry Monsignor (Joseph Fiennes), a nymphomaniac (Chloë Sevigny), a sane reporter committed because she's lesbian (Sarah Paulson), a microcephalic (Naomi Grossman), the Angel of Death (Frances Conroy), a coat hanger abortion attempt, an exorcism resulting in an innocent nun's (Lily Rabe) possession by Satan, and cameos by a murderous girl (Nikki Hahn), a psychopathic Santa (Ian McShane) and Anne Frank (Franka Potente). Yes, THE Anne Frank!

This diverse list compelled viewers to tune in each week to see just what crazy stuff the creators might come up with next. Since Asylum ended in January, obsessed fans have theorized on what October's season three will bring. Click here for the latest. In the meantime, Asylum's sleaze and gore fest produced some of TV's most memorable quotes and inspired some great artwork. See list attached.

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  • "Mental illness is the fashionable explanation for sin."To Kit: ""I wonder, did her dark meat slide off the bone any easier than the other victims?""All monsters are human."In response to Arden's statement that the Monsignor made a gentleman's agreement with him: "Curious, since only one of you is a gentleman.""Who would you like to call, Ms. Winters? The American Civil Lesbians Union?"""A sexual deviant, a Mexican, and a pinhead won't get far in this storm. I hope they drown.""So, Anne Frank, is it? What a relief it will be to millions of schoolchildren to know you survived.""My mother was pouring herself a whiskey--the Martin family cure for everything. She looked at me and laughed. 'God always answers our prayers, Judy. It's just rarely... the answer we're looking for.' ""It's an extraordinary thing. You know that? You throw me in the madhouse, you strip away everything I have, everything I know, you treat me like a rabid dog, like a madwoman. And you know what happens? I'm blessed with the gift of total clarity. I am more sane now as a madwoman than I ever was as the head of Briarcliff."After seeing The Flying Nun on TV: "They don't know, but I don't need the hat. I can fly without it. One of these days I'm gonna fly my ass right outta here!""Childish? Hell, I'm the queen of Candy Land.""Miss Lana Banana. Just remember. If you look in the face of evil, evil's going to look right back at you." Art by Ismael Alvarado:  http://ismacomics.deviantart.com/art/Santa-Sister-Jude-354911430
  • "I realize you're likely unfamiliar with the work of B.F. Skinner but positive reinforcement is proven to be far more effective. In lay terms, Sister, a little compassion would go a long way.""You have quite a suspicious mind, Sister, bordering on the delusional. Or maybe it’s just a form of projection. A defense to protect your own guilty conscience."To Lana when she sees the lamp: "I see you found my little ... hobby.""We're going to continue our therapy now, Lana. You can begin... by kissing her cold lips. Don't worry. she won't bite. I took her teeth.""A mother's touch. Skin to skin contact. That's what I was craving, that's what I was missing. My whole life. But she smelled of formaldehyde. And her skin, even after I removed it, was cold. And stiff."To Lana: "I can either cut your throat or I can strangle you. I don't believe in guns."To Lana when she suggests he'll kill her as soon as the baby is born, "No. I'll have to keep you around to breast-feed that baby for at least the first year. The health benefits are myriad."When Lana suggests he will fry in the electric chair: "I hardly think so, Lana ... I'm clearly insane."To Johnny, in his hallucination: "I loved you even when you were still in your mother's womb. I'd have given anything to be a real father to you, but she kept us apart. I had so much love to give you, son. But she stole it from you. From both of us. " Art by Amanda Rae using acrylic, watercolor and airbrushing on Corel Painter 12:  http://marvelhero.deviantart.com/art/Cure-My-Disease-341275184
  • Before her commitment: "I'm telling you that battle-axe has secrets. Under all that piousness and fidelity there's a real darkness."To Sister Mary Eunice: "What were you feeding out there? I guess I'll have to ask Sr. Jude...she scares you, doesn't she? She scares you to death. Let me look around and I won't tell Sr. Horrible about your night-time forays or your secret tunnel."To an unconscious Thredson: "One day, I'll bury you."To Thredson: "After they do knife count, I’m gonna pocket one. Then I’m going to come back tonight and slit your throat nice and easy. I always wanted to know what it was like inside the mind of a killer. Now I know.""You think I'm crazy. Oh, wait. That'd be you. I think we established that when you chained me to the bed and called me Mommy."To Thredson when he asks her if she'll keep the baby now that she's out of Briarcliff: "Not a chance in hell."To Thredson when she says she'll find a way to get the tape to the police and he looks surprised, "You know I can do it, Oliver. I’m goddamned plucky, remember?”“This is a mercy killing, Oliver. No child should ever have to grow up knowing his Daddy was Bloody Face.”"I am tough. But I'm no cookie." To Kit, regarding a book about Leigh: "I thought of calling it Santa and the Seven Nuns. Too campy?"About reporters: "We are vultures, attracted to the scent of rotted meat."About the Monsignor: "That man was a particular kind of liar, the kind who lies to himself about being a liar. He was so corrupt and deluded, he believed his own lies. Lies are like scars on your soul. They destroy you."To Johnny: "Let's get this over with, shall we?" Art by Ylenia: http://magiciscoming.deviantart.com/art/Lana-Banana-347587077
  • When Alma tells him the roast is almost ready: "That’s not what I’m hungry for."To Alma: "The world is wrong.""There is no God. Not a God who would create the things I saw.""I'm not crazy."To Lana: "I'd have done the same thing if I believed what you believe but I'm innocent."Kit: Dr. Thredson, he... he said some things that are starting to make sense.Grace: Well, if you were crazy, they wouldn't make sense to you. Self-doubt is a sure sign of sanity.Kit: Wait, you're confusing me. If... you're saying that if I'm crazy, then I wouldn't believe Dr. Threadson, but if I'm sane, then my crazy stories would be true?Grace: I have no idea what you just said.To Thredson: "You are one sick twist!""Daddy will be there in a minute."To Jude when she sees the Angel of Death and he can't: "I'm here. I'm not going to leave you alone."After Kit tells Lana that Jude said she's not alone, "she" is here.Kit: "I don't know who she was talking about."Lana: "I do." Art by David Desbois, 2.5 x 3.5 inch sketch card/watercolor/marker: http://daviddeb.deviantart.com/art/Institutionalized-347900312 
  • To Shelley:  “You were a very naughty girl last night. You tried to fly away, so I had to clip your wings.”"In my hands, the transorbital lobotomy has become as routine as... filling a cavity.""Another mess to clean up, Mr. Spivey? You seem to have mistaken the broom closet for the playground where you used to expose yourself to innocent little boys and girls.""I hope you don't mind, if I don't use anesthetic. It interferes with my readings.""The devil doesn't reside in hell, Mr. Walker. He lives right here in the frontal gyrus; the occipital lobes. Inside those beautiful brains lies the secret of understanding the darkness of the human psyche, and ten of them put together are not as dark as what resides right here in this cute, blond melon.""You can swear all you like, Mr. Walker, but I will get to the truth. In here. We have all the time in the world.""A ferret... delightful creature. I used to keep one as a pet... until it bit me and I broke its neck.""I don’t believe in God. But I believe in evil. I have seen it up close and personal."To Sister Mary Eunice: "I was hoping there’d be a glimmer of horror… a glimmer of that precious girl who was too afraid to even take a bite of my candy apple."To Sister Mary Eunice: "You have no idea what it means to have lost you." Art by Peter Herber: http://pieohpah69.deviantart.com/art/Dr-Arden-352442190
  • "Dr. Arden, you still see me as microcephalic. No-one takes a pinhead seriously. When my sister’s husband drowned her baby and sliced his ears off, he told everybody that I did it. They tied me up and paraded me in front of a judge. He took one look at the shape of my head and I was locked up for good. That’s how it works with us freaks. We get blamed for everything.”"They laugh at you, Dr. Arden, they make jokes. Here's a good one. Knock knock. Who's there? Arden. Arden who? Arden you the quack who'd make a better duck.""If anything happens to Grace in here, they'll take you, open up your brain and stir it with a fork." Art by Brieana Woodward, digital art/mixed media: http://brieana.deviantart.com/art/RATS-334278478See more of the artist's work on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/BrieanasGraphics
  • "You think I'm full of shame and regret for what I've done now, Sister? You can shave me bald as a cue ball and I'll still be the hottest tamale in this joint."To Kit: "Oooh! Sr. Jude is on the warpath. I can't make the welts go away, but I can make you forget you have them... A salve can't cure you like I can. You need a session in the hydrotherapy room with me.""Hey, Sister. I have a cucumber in my room but not because I was hungry."To Dr. Arden: "I saw you flirting with Our Lady of Perpetual Virginity. You want to see my candy apple?""Kill me." Art by Anthony Vella: http://sai17.deviantart.com/art/Shelly-326173303See more work by Anthony Vella at:DeviantArt: http://sai17.deviantart.com/gallery/Twitter: https://twitter.com/KidLamboTumblr: http://thegreenranger.tumblr.com/tagged/my-art
  • "I come when I'm called. That's what I do, Jude. I don't judge. I never judge.""Are you ready for me?"To the Monsignor: "I came because you have more work to do. The devil is here in Briarcliff, in your favorite young nun. You must cast her out."After he responds that he is too weak: "Guard your thoughts. Use your rosary, each bead bears his name.""Shall I kiss you, and make this all go away?""I'll take both of you."As Judy's cellmate: "Babycakes, I'm only just starting to toy with you."Shachath: "Jude, we've been doing this dance for so many years. Are you sure you're ready?"Judy: "I'm sure. I'm ready now. Kiss me..." Art by Happy Dong: http://browse.deviantart.com/art/Shall-I-kiss-you-352716907
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, Jacksonville Horror Films Examiner

At times Susan’s passion for film, especially horror and dark independent and foreign films, seems to take possession of her very soul. She began journalistic and essay writing in high school, taught essay writing to high school and college students, and, as she transitioned to the business...

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