Introvert: a person whose energy is charged by being alone and feels drained by being around other people.
While you may think an introvert's main characteristic is shyness, it's far from the truth. In fact, many introverts can mask their need for privacy and become quite social.
But if you're more of an extrovert, you may have found dating to be rather challenging. After all, when you pounce on every dating prospect like an enthusiastic Tigger, it can be a turn-off to the person on the receiving end of your energy.
Have you ever wondered why the shy, quiet types seem to do better when it comes to finding quality partners? Perhaps their introverted nature helps them see things from a more logical rather than emotional state, making their dating choices earn their guarded energy.
Signs you may be too eager to find love.
Ask yourself: When you go on a first date, are you sure you're going to have a good time? Do you assume you'll like your date? Do you feel the need to be "liked" by your date and find yourself trying to impress him or her?
Observing my teenage daughter's luck when it comes to finding a good mate, the connection makes perfect sense. She didn't initially like her boyfriend, but over time grew to trust and love him. She's not only an introvert, but a wise young lady who's mature beyond her years.
I, on the other hand, show up for dates with pom poms in hand, ready to cheer for all the fun I'll have that night. As you can guess, my luck hasn't been as successful as my daughter's. If you didn't guess: I'm an extrovert.
Treat your energy like a treasure to be guarded.
Here are eight ways you can use the skills of introverts to have a better dating experience. It doesn't mean you have to be shy or quiet, just take your time and judge with your instincts. And for goodness sakes, bottle up that energy to be used for only the right guy or gal who comes along!
1. Avoid small talk.
Introverts don't waste energy with small talk.
If you're out on a date, don't worry about gaps in the conversation and feeling like a failure if there's a break of silence. Sometimes it's nice to relax and observe. Save the conversation for information that really matters.
2. Don't feel like you need someone.
Another secret of the introvert is that he or she can be content all by themselves.
While extroverts charge their energy by being social, while dating, this tendency can make you seem needy. Enjoy your own company first and don't feel desperate to have someone else join you.
3. Don't let people drain you.
Introverts go to great lengths to avoid talkative people draining them.
Now, it's nice to get to know someone and share invigorating conversation, don't confuse it with allowing negative people to take up your time. Recognize when someone doesn't resonate with you, there's little to nothing in common and he or she doesn't "do it" for you. Really, it's okay to spare yourself the draining effect.
4. Be more easily distracted.
Introverts have a hard time focusing on one task at a time.
When it comes to dating, remember to keep a rotation of people you're interested in. Don't let one person you're more attracted to keep your attention from giving others a chance. You'll do much better in dating when you're not so focused on finding the "one" with every man or woman you date.
5. Use down time to recharge.
Introverts use their private time to recharge.
That's a great skill to develop! Use your time between dating to work on your inner needs. Focus on your passions and be full of yourself when you meet someone knew. Well, not literally, of course.
6. Don't be the center of attention.
Introverts avoid being the life of the party.
Although you may love the limelight, save it for another occasion. Give your date your true, undivided attention and be a good listener. It's not about YOU. It's about seeing whether or not you like your date. No need to feel fazed if your date doesn't like you. Just be yourself and let the chips fall where they may.
7. Don't be an open book.
Introverts don't reveal too much too soon.
There is a lot of wisdom to gain from those who allow trust to be built and bits of information to seep out slowly. Mystery is good for building intrigue. So keep your secrets to yourself... for a while.
8. Don't immediately like everyone.
Like trust, growing fond of someone takes time for an introvert.
Take your time to get to know someone before you decide you like them. And take precaution with how quickly you become affectionate with them, too. Love is as sweet as honey, but doesn't need to be poured on any sap you meet. Keep your inner Tigger where it belongs until the time is right to unleash it.