How do you know if you're really ready for a relationship?
If you want to avoid making mistakes right away, read about three big red flags in dating.
So you're ready to date or have been going out every now and then, yet nothing seems to "click" so far. Is it you or your date that's clogging the channels of love?
What many people don't realize is that sometimes it's their own choices or attitudes that are keeping them single. Most aren't even aware of it themselves. What horror it would be to find out that you are the one who's emotionally unavailable or a commitment-phobe!
Some tell-tale signs you may not be ready for a relationship:
- Do you have fear or anxiety about dating, being rejected or measuring up to your date?
- Do you still think about your ex or have brought him/her up in conversation with a dating prospect?
- Is your schedule so hectic that you find yourself making excuses to not have to pencil in a date?
- Do you feel guilty about taking time away from your child to have a relationship?
- Does the thought of dating or having a relationship seem like a strain on your finances?
- Do you find that prospects around you don't measure up to your standards, or not worth the effort?
If you've answered "yes" to one or more of these questions, the timing might not be right for starting a relationship.
Read the slideshow to learn more about what it means to be "relationship-ready."
1. You fear rejection
1. You fear rejection.
Maybe your heart was crushed by an ex or you've been tossed by the school of hard knocks while dating, but if you fear rejection, you may not be ready. Face your worst fears and let them go. Dating can and should be fun, so don't sweat the small stuff!
2. You still think of your ex
2. You still think of your ex.
It's natural to reminisce about good times with an ex, or vent about how they broke your heart. But for a limited time. Be sure that time is filled out before you decide to open a new chapter of love in your heart by starting a new relationship. P.S. If you bring up an ex in early dating conversation, you're probably not ready.
3. You don't have time
3. You don't have time.
Some people really do have a hectic schedule and are maxed out during their free time. But if you find yourself making excuses about work, school activities or lack of free time to schedule dates, your heart probably isn't really into it. Think about when you had a crush on someone: You would have dropped studying for a final exam just to spend a few minutes with him or her. If you want a relationship, you can make time for it to happen.
4. You feel guilty with kids
4. You feel guilty with kids.
Just like using busy work schedules to excuse yourself, if your kids are used as a shield against working on a relationship, you're probably not ready for one. Naturally your kids will always come first, but that doesn't mean you have no time for a love interest. Find out why you chose your child's happiness over your own. Know that your child wants you to be happy, too!
5. You can't afford it
5. You can't afford it.
The thought of getting out your wallet and chipping in for dates gives you the shivers? You might need to fix your financial world before you open your wallet or heart to the land of Relationshipville. Although it shouldn't break the bank to be committed, stress from financial burdens can put a damper on the budding flowers of falling in love. When you find your economic Zen, your heart will be more at ease to open up and let love in.
6. You're lonely being single
6. You're lonely being single.
Confused why being lonely is a reason why you shouldn't be in a relationship? It's because you're probably only looking to be in a relationship to avoid being single. That's called "being desperate." It also leads to settling for someone who's incompatible, doesn't add to your life or will eventually lead to more feelings of loneliness once the hormones wear off. Fix the feelings of loneliness by scheduling more activities or spending time with friends.
7. You blame your choices
7. You blame your choices.
When people ask why you're single, do you tell them it's because there's "no good men/women to choose from?" Com'mon. You know that's not true. There are great guys and gals at every street corner, even if you haven't met them yet. Could it be another excuse for not being more active in your community? Do you have a chip on your shoulder from a bad experience causing you to blame everyone of the opposite sex? Then get over it and move on! Life is too short to go on without finding love. So take steps to find it.