When it comes to dating advice, standoffish men are the ones that most gurus and experts will tell you to stay away from. But one very important piece of relationship advice you need to keep alongside that one is that you should never confuse standoffish with shy. There are shy men out there that will make you chase them, are too afraid to ask you out for Saturday night, and so on. So they can be very easy to mistake for standoffish guys who only want you for sex.
How can you tell the difference? What do you know about him? What do you know about him reeeeallly?
Is your knowledge of him so limited that you need to think to answer questions about him by your friends? Or is it so casual that you haven't even mentioned it to your friends yet because you are still waiting for him to launch that "awkward conversation"? If you think you have a shy one on your hands, The Toronto Love Doctor offers some awesome tips on how to know the difference between a shy guy and a guy that's just not that into you.
Healthy relationships include frequent communication where the couple is on a continuous quest of getting to know the other person. There is no excuse, not distance, not a massive work schedule, not a crazy family, not being shy, not anything that precludes someone from making an effort with you if they want something more than sex.
If he is leaving critical getting to know you stuff out in your chats, it's because he is either hiding something, or simply doesn't want you to know critical stuff because he doesn't want you to get too close. He only wants you for sex.
Jodi knew a lot about Travis Alexander, probably everything as she was one of the best stalkers of all time. But she was never really included in much of it, and her knowledge of what he was really like as a person was limited because he kept her at arms length on purpose. They were only using each other for sex.
Did you discover some things about your relationship that made you uncomfortable? These tips apply to both men and women as we can obviously see that Jodi Arias was certainly one lady who enjoyed using others for sex, as much as she enjoyed complaining about being the victim. But you can separate yourself from this mentality and rise above it by some authentic conversations with your Self.
Don't commit any Jodi Arias dating mistakes, and follow that instinct and trust your Self enough to really go after what you want. Love is blind, and it can be very easy to ignore the most obvious red flags of them all when we really want to be with someone.
But what would you rather? Would you rather be with someone who isn't meeting your needs and giving you what you want? Or would you rather surrender to your highest Self and let go of that which is no longer serving you so that you can grab onto what you truly deserve. A whole loaf!
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