They say that hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, and many people that followed the first degree murder trial of Jodi Arias over the first half of 2013 would probably say she is a stunning example of that catchphrase. It was to many the trial of the century, as then 32-year-old Jodi Arias was facing first degree murder charges, and also the death penalty, for stabbing her lover Travis Alexander over 25 times, slitting his throat, and then shooting him in the head on June 5, 2008.
Her reason? Nobody will ever really know what happened in that bathroom on that fateful day, but all signs in the timeline of their relationship point to Jodi being a scorned lover.
What went wrong?
Prior to the murder Jodi and Travis Alexander had already broken up, but were still carrying on a sexual relationship. Something wonderful happened between them that day before something terrible happened.
What happened in that bathroom, and is Jodi Arias an exceptional case? Or, could it happen to anybody?
Most women have gotten mad at their man and even been irritated enough to think “I could kill you right now!” But what happens between the moments where those thoughts become actual things? Maybe it really can happen to anyone?
Follow our top 5 fatal dating mistakes that Jodi Arias made!
We think she doth text too much.
There is no question that Jodi Arias was a little bit too addicted to the phone. Her obsessive compulsion with texting Travis was not just one sided, he certainly enabled her to the tune of an 1800 text message dossier that was presented to the jury at her trial. But, although it was not just one sided, this was an important element of the Jodi Arias psyche that lasted not just up to his death, but even after.
At her trial, prosecutor Juan Martinez presented massive amounts of text message evidence that occurred up to the day that Travis died. After Jodi killed Travis and left his house, phone records also show she rang him up to 4 times, and even hacked into his phone voicemail to correct and re-record a chilling voicemail she left just “checking in” on a man who was lying dead in his shower…at her hands.
Not only was she obsessed with contacting him, but at trial some evidence was presented that suggested she also contacted some of his current lovers as well. A very quick way to come across as crazy. Psychology Today reported that this behavior fit the impulsivity trait in the Borderline Personality Profile.
Dating Don’t: Ladies, put down the phone. A general rule of thumb for contacting your man, especially if you have not had that exclusive conversation yet, one point of contact sent for every point of contact received or you risk coming off as the crazy one. Have some fun with him once in a while and enjoy those textathons when he’s away, but don’t put too much out there right away.
When in doubt, practice one text per text received, one call per call received. If he likes you, he will keep it up. And if he isn't communicating as often as you like? Sending him 60 texts or emails a day is not going to warm him up to you. And, it’s generally bad form to hack into your lover’s voicemail or Facebook accounts to keep tabs on him.
Thinking she was in a relationship when she wasn’t.
Huffington Post reported that the timeline of the relationship between Jodi Arias and Travis Alexander may have lasted several years, but they were only boyfriend and girlfriend for the period between February 2007 and June 2007. One year later, Travis Alexander would be dead. In that year and one month, Jodi did everything she could to get him back, and acted in a way that suggested she still thought they were together.
In this Arias journal entry written just months before Travis Alexander died, and days after she allegedly found Travis in his underwear with a picture of a child, Jodi writes:
“Thursday 1-24-08, I haven’t written because there has been nothing noteworthy to report. I turned down 4 offers for a date this (Saturday) Friday night. 4 separate offers. That’s mildly amusing. Instead, I’m going to dinner at Brother Parker’s house. It’s for new ward members. I’m tempted to skip out though and go (skiing) w/ my friends to the snow. I could get some reading and journal writing done and probably take some great pictures. Not to mention, spend time w/ some good friends. Anyway, we’ll see. – JAA”
Nothing noteworthy? She testified in her trial that just days before she and Travis had a fight that led to physical abuse over the alleged child photo. From a relationship perspective however, the fact that Jodi turned down dates while serving as Travis’s side dish shows that she thought she was in a relationship, when she wasn’t.
Dating Don’t: Unless you are in an exclusive relationship, and have had the conversation that you are in an exclusive relationship, you are not in an exclusive relationship. Never take yourself off the market until you do so.
Attaching herself to him financially.
The check shown here is a check written by Jodi Arias to Travis Alexander in the amount of $200, and was a check found at his house after his death. It was made out to Travis to repay him for a car loan he had given to Jodi Arias. Attaching yourself to a man financially is in most dating circles considered a no-no, unless he’s put a ring on it. But this was just one more manipulative tactic that Jodi used to keep Travis on her leash.
Not listening to her gut instinct.
This was something Travis spoke of often during his motivational speaking career. Here he is in an undated photo in the bedroom of his Arizona home just steps away from where he died in June of 2008. All because Jodi did not listen to her instinct. She let her fears get in the way…in epic proportions. She let them win, because she already knew the answer. She knew exactly where she stood with Travis, and her instinct, and God, and whomever she believes in from above tried to tell her that, but she let her fears take the reins of the show.
That’s why she hid her trip to the house of Travis Alexander that day. That’s why she arrived fully loaded. That’s why she spent an entire evening and day seducing Travis in her last ditch effort to give him one last chance to change the situation. She alleges to be a God fearing woman, but it was the human fears that took over in June of 2008.
Dating DON’T: Not listening to your gut instinct and letting your fear take the driver’s seat has consequences that can actually be heartbreaking at best, and deadly at worst. Proceed with caution if you turn the volume down on that instinct.
She only asked for half a loaf.
Dr. Phil has a saying, “If you ask for half a loaf, guess what you’re gonna get? Half a loaf.” Jodi Arias did not realize or accept that she was worth the whole loaf. It’s the biggest dating mistake any self-respecting woman that is dating in the 21st century can make….settling to remain a mermaid or the unidentified friend with benefits when the woman wants so much more.
Like most red blooded women she equated sex with love, and so despite the fact that all signs were there, she did not want to accept that she was just being used for sex because the love was just so there for her.
Dating Don’t: Travis Alexander would still be alive today if Jodi Arias had just opened her insight to the fact that all signs were pointing to the oh so obvious, and respected herself enough to accept that and move on. Like many women, she wanted more and thought sex was the way to get to it. Big time dating don’t.
Would we be having this conversation today if Jodi had accepted one of those four date invitations that week in January 2008? We will never know.
If you want more, you have to give yourself enough respect to have the “awkward conversation” and walk away if he doesn’t want what you want. If you truly believe in your heart that you are worth having what you want, and you should, then ask for that whole loaf. Don't walk away without asking for it though, because your lover can not read your mind. Ask. And if this bakery isn’t offering it, there’s one not too far off that is. But getting there will require some authentic action on your part.
Did we miss any? What other colossal dating errors did Jodi Arias make? Drop us a comment and your thoughts may appear in a future article!
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