Okay, let’s face it, the world today is as, former USA Secretary of State, Madeleine Albright recently said, “in a mess.” There is war in the Ukraine that might lead to a new “Cold War;” violence is breaking out all over the Middle East; America’s standing in the world has been significantly diminished; the USA economy has struggled over much of the past decade (a smaller percentage of American adults are working full time today than at anytime since the Great Depression); the Middle Class is shrinking; and the world is more dangerous than at anytime in the past 60+ years.
Frankly, the world, including the USA, has forgotten how to compromise – how to work together for the common good. Nearly three fourths of American adults feel the country is headed in the wrong direction. Our world is, indeed, “in a mess!” As you will note, there are consequences to your personal mental health and your relationships with others and certainly to your marriage. Here’s how.
The daily doses of bad news you watch on your television; the steady drumbeat of bad news in your newspaper; the bombardment of negativity on the Internet, television, and on the radio; and the constant negative exchanges you have with others on social media – much of it from your “so-called friends” (putting you down, criticizing you, making fun of you, putting you on the defensive, embarrassing you in front of others, etc.); is enough to make you want to crawl in a hole and hide!
But there is a better solution if you want to save your relationships with others, especially your husband/wife or “significant other.”
You see, getting in the doldrums – letting your psychic be impacted in negative ways by the constant negativity in the news and in social media – can begin to bring you down and affect your marriage and relationships with others in terrible and unproductive ways.
And remember this – if you spend too much of your day being told how awful everything is, it WILL affect the way you feel, the way you relate to others – especially the ones you love – and the way you love. Make no mistake about it!
So, how do you prevent and/or combat the daily bombardment of the negative things you experience? How do you keep negativity from affecting your relationships with those you love, especially your spouse? How do you “keep yourself together” in a psychological sense?
We have discovered four effective solutions based on our 33 years of research with successful marriage on all seven continents of the world. Here they are in a nutshell.
#1 Way To Protect Your Marriage
You need to set up a plan of action immediately that limits on a daily basis the amount of news you watch, what you read in the newspaper, and what you consume from the Internet. Reading all the negative stuff will eventually impact the way you view the world, yourself, and those you interact with on a daily basis. Listening to and reading the constant bombardment of negative news is, in many ways, like being in a prisoner-of-war camp – you begin to believe and feel all that which you read – and in the end, it consumes you – it impacts your very being! You think the world is falling apart! Be informed, but enough is enough! Being informed of local, national, and world events does not require you to be a slave to negative news. Limit your news intake because the negativity you feel will impact your marriage.
#2 Way To Protect Your Marriage
Exercise is a great physical and psychological stress reliever! Exercise often. The truth of the matter is this – exercise is not only good for you physically, it is good for you psychologically and emotionally. Exercise is, as a fitness enthusiast friend of ours recently said, “The elixir for the soul.” Exercise releases chemicals in your body that puts you in a “good place.” Exercise makes you feel good about yourself – it puts you in a “happy place” and releases the stressors that limit you and your relationships on a daily basis. Some kinesiologists believe that these secret chemicals are “Endorphins,” which act as a kind of sedative that reduces “pain” – psychologically and physically. Exercise often! Your mind and body will appreciate it more than you know.
#3 Way To Protect Your Marriage
Everyday of your life do something positive for somebody! Engage in acts of kindness. Say something nice to a friend or a stranger. Become a great purveyor of love! There is one simple rule of the Universe – a smile requires fewer muscles to carry out than a frown. Be a positive person. Tell the ones you love and the strangers you meet something positive. You will be astonished at how much better the world will seem AND become! When somebody throws a negative at you, respond with something positive. It will blow their mind, trust us on this one. It is so easy to be a positive person and by being so, you will relieve much of your stress and the stress of the one you said something nice to! It can even change the way your spouse feels about your marriage if he or she is greeted with daily acts of kindness and a positive attitude.
#4 Way To Protect Your Marriage
Each day of your life, observe and embrace the beauty around you. The world is a beautiful place for the most part. Look for the beauty in it each day of your life. Smell the flowers, watch the sunsets, get up for a sunrise, hold hands with the one you love while you share a glass of wine on the back porch or deck, and make note of the incredible beauty that surrounds you everyday. There is a simple truth here – the world is a beautiful place and when you notice its wonderful beauty, you won’t have time to wallow in self-pity, be angry, experience frustration, or be unhappy. We are not suggesting you not “feel” the pain of the world, your neighbors, and the like, but we are saying to you – put it all in proper perspective. This action will serve you well.
In the end, how we feel about ourselves, how we deal with those we love, and how we deal with the stressors of the world, are feelings and emotions we can control. Being informed, caring about others, being empathic with the plight of those less fortunate than us, and the like, does not require us to be constantly unhappy, sad, and depressed. These latter feelings only estrange us from those we love. Care, but don’t be consumed by the bad news of the day. You have your life to live – you have others to love – you have a partner to love and cherish on a daily basis. You owe them and you this commitment.
For more tips to enhance your relationship get the best-selling and multiple-award winning book Building a Love that Lasts. Available wherever books are sold.
By Dr. Charles and Dr. Elizabeth Schmitz
America's #1 Love and Marriage Experts
Discover what happily married women know about what makes a man marriage material and learn other revealing truths in How to Marry the Right Guy – the latest multiple award winning book by the Doctors.