This list of office proverbs will continue to grow as we receive more submissions. Submit your workplace proverbs through Twitter by adding the hashtag #officeproverbs.
The current list of office proverbs:
1. When the tough gets going, blame the economy.
(Related: Using the bad economy card)
2. When an employee asks for a raise, instead, give them a new title.
(Related: Job title inflation)
3. Grade people not on the quality of their work, but on the 5 non-work related bullet points in their annual performance goals.
4. If at first you don't succeed, get more funding.
5. You catch more flies with dangling carrots.
6. You can't make an omelette without spending 12 months on its design.
7. Where there's a will, there's a smaller company killing you.
8. When the cat's away, the mice go home.
(Related - How to sneak out of work early)
9. Walk loudly and carry a broken stick.
10. Two managers are always better than one.
11. To err is human, to cover up is divine.
12. Those who do not learn from history are groomed for leadership.
13. There's no time like yesterday.
14. The way to a client's heart is through deception.
15. The longest journey starts with a detailed process flow of where we're going.
16. The leapord does not change his spots, but he does hide in the bushes.
17. Good subsdiaries die young, so keep acquiring more.
18. The darkest hour is just after 4pm.
19. The customer has no name.
20. A good beginning makes an ending full of unrealistic expectations.
21. A person is known by the company he leaves.
22. A problem shared is a problem in itself.
23. A friend in need is a revenue seed.
24. A good man is hard to blind.
25. A journey of a thousand miles begins with lack of funding.
26. A penny saved is a penny to use later in the year to empty the budget.
27. A good executive always blames the economy.
28. A patrolling drone typically becomes a boss.
29. A watched pot will boil eventually, just keep an eye on it.
30. Words speak louder than actions, so long as you are promoted from your position before actions take place.
(Related: The seven habits of typical bad managers)
31. Money comes to those who steal it.
32. A large company marches on ancient success.
33. Behind every great CEO, there is a giant dysfunctional company.
34. Big fish buy little fish to cover up poor financial performance.
35. Don't cross the bridge until we have its schematics.
36. Don't underestimate your power to change yourself for the worse.(submitted by @JamesHamiltonTX)
37. Surround yourself with talented people. Encourage them to share their ideas, then kill them. (submitted by @JamesHamiltonTX)
38. Working to improve yourself is more difficult than wanting to improve yourself so don't bother. (submitted by @JamesHamiltonTX)
39. Whether sick from a virus or sick from the booze...they're both a good reason to stay home and snooze (submitted by The Lutch-box)
40. There are plenty of reasons why a project fails but only one will be pinned on you. (submitted by GC-Oh)
41. If there is a path, walk it. If trailed with money, run.
42. For every great leader, there are thousands who feel more important.
43. Without mergers and acquisitions, such words as improvement, achievement, and success are impossible.
44. An executive is one who impressed his superiors and was despised by his subordinates.
45. A dozing ox will always acquire the ant on the move.
46. Focus on the easy stuff and the rest will lose funding.
47. Give a man a bonus and he's happy for a day. Give him a lofty job title and he's happy for a year.
48. From caring comes bloated middle management.
49. Great acts are made up of informing as many executives as possible.
50. He who does not trust enough becomes a manager.
Continue Reading Proverbs: 1-50 | 51-100 | 101-150
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Comments
These are perfect for any workplace occasion! And lastly, if there is no problem, become the problem.
I don't want to appear creative or anything....
but these would also make great T-shirt slogans for someone having a T-shirt contest.
Better get someone on it A.S.A.P. before a part-timer at Wally World Mart has children in China start mass-producing them.
I'm just saying.
All of these offend me.
gc-oh: these offend you? then you're a bad boss
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