New year's resolution: Looking to ditch your career and start over?

Does your work life feel like Phil Conners from Groundhog Day? Perhaps it's time for a change.

 

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"For the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: ‘If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?’ And whenever the answer has been ‘No’ for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something."
- Steve Jobs, CEO of Apple (during a commencement speech at Stanford)

Unlike Steve Jobs, most Americans don't wake up as the 43rd wealthiest person in America.  Some of us wake up every morning to a job we hate, and we continue working there because we need the income. We cannot burden ourselves with the financial risk of starting over.  Jobs' quote is quite ridiculous on the surface. Who, in their right mind, would want to work on the last day of their life?  The last day of your life means there are literally no consequences.  Austin Powers once spoke of a consquence-free environment when he said he was "having promiscuous sex with many anonymous partners without protection while at the same time experimenting with mind-expanding drugs."  It's a much more accurate depiction of what one would do if today was their last day.  Perhaps Jobs would have better served the Stanford graduates by simply giving them a quote from Johnny Castle in Dirty Dancing when he said, "You just put your pickle on everybody's plate, college boy, and leave the hard stuff to me."

Unfortunately, people cannot live their lives like it's the last day.  If you did, it might end up being your last day.  There are consequences in real life.  If you're unhappy with your employer, unhappy with your career, and unhappy about your compensation, it's difficult to make the jump.  People fear what could happen from such a change.  

However, some people are willing to live their entire lives in misery without ever taking a chance. Fearing the unknown leads them to a miserable life.  In some horrible work situations, it's better to live by the words of the Arby's marketing department: Different is good.  

All too often, people live by the phrase "the grass isn't always greener on the other side..." Unfortunately, sometimes your yard is dead and brown. When your job, career, or current living situation isn't what you thought it would be, it doesn't matter what color grass is awaiting you.  If it's horrible, eventually you'll find greener grass by leaving.  If you're lucky, you might even find some that you can smoke.

Susan Rienzo and her family may not have found grass they could smoke, but they did find happiness. Susan left her small town New Jersey life, packed up her things, and left the only home she knew to escape to the sunny confines of Phoenix, Arizona with her family.

To help people who are considering starting their life over, Dudley B. Dawson and Susan Rienzo sat down for a brief Q&A session.

Dudley: What was the big change you made in your life?
Susan: It's the biggest change I made in my life. I left the small town I'd lived in for my entire life, surrounded by an enormous Italian extended family, and moved to a place in the desert where I knew no one.

Dudley: Why did you make the change?
Susan: My husband was the driving force behind our move. Well, actually the blizzard of 1996 was. That was the last straw for him. He wanted a change to a warm climate. We moved in 1997.

Dudley: Was the decision about more than a bad job or career that you already had?
Susan:  Yes, as I said, the decision was primarily based on weather. Although it was also about cost of living. It's very expensive to live in the New York area, especially to buy a house. We could not have afforded the house we have here if we'd stayed in New Jersey.

Dudley: Did you already have a job lined up in Phoenix?
Susan: Nope. We had nothing. Our house in NJ had not sold, and neither my husband Jimmie nor I had jobs. We also had two young children. Jimmie came out here six weeks before our kids and I did, ostensibly to look for a job. But I discovered later he was actually golfing.
[Dudley's note: Jimmie sounds like a great drinking buddy.]

Dudley: How many people doubted that changing what you do and where you live would work out for the better? 
Susan: Oh God! People thought we were crazy. They really did. Even if they didn't say so, you could see it in their faces. And those were the ones who tried to be supportive. Most people came right out and said they could not understand why we would make such a move. When we said we were tired of bad weather and worse traffic, they pointed out that we'd lived with that all of our lives (which was kind of the point). They kept hoping we'd come to our senses and change our minds. And our parents went into denial. When we told them we'd put our house on the market, they said "why?" As though they'd somehow forgotten that we had this move planned. There were a few people, though, that "got it". They said we were right to get out while we could. Those people were like soldiers waving us off the battlefield.

Dudley: How many times did you change your mind after making the decision to move?
Susan: Daily. I'd go from thinking everything was going to be okay, to thinking we were really and truly nuts.

Dudley:  How long did it take before you felt comfortable at the new place or at a new job?
Susan: Actually I began to feel comfortable pretty quickly. We lived in an apartment for the first six months and we were surrounded by other newcomer transplants so we had a lot in common. Many of us were still looking for jobs so we all spent a lot of time at the pool drinking margaritas. That made it easier. Any time I made a new friend or had SOMEONE to go SOMEWHERE with, I felt very fortunate. In my old hometown, I took for granted that everywhere I'd go I'd see someone I knew. Now I no longer took that for granted. 

Dudley: Did it take a long time to find a new job?  Was it temporary or "permanent"?
Susan: I found a job before my husband, since I was just looking for a little part-time job. It took me about a month. The first one that I found was at a dating service. My job was to call single people on the phone and invite them to come in and tour the facility. It was a very strange job, and yes, it was temporary. I worked there for about eight months. I eventually worked up to my current (and very responsible) job in the health insurance field. But I still work part-time. Part-time work, if you can swing it, to me is the key to job happiness. My husband found a job five and a half months after arriving to Phoenix at the Scottsdale Airport. I always joke that once my mom said she was coming out to visit us, he really stepped up the job search and found one. He still works there and has moved up to manager.

Dudley: If others are dropping their current career and pursuing a new one, what things would you tell them to prepare for when ditching their previous work life?
Susan: First, be prepared for a drop in income. Often in changing careers you have to start at the bottom. If possible, save some money first to put aside for this. Second, be open to possibilities. You may come across something you'd never thought about or considered before but give it some thought. Or it could also lead to other opportunities. I believe things come across your path for a reason.  Third, tell people you want to make a change. This accomplishes two things: it gets the word out in case someone can help, and also once you tell people, it makes it harder not to do it. Once you talk the talk, people expect you to walk the walk. And try to surround yourself with positive encouraging people. Avoid naysayers.  Last,  I won't say don't be scared, because you will be scared. Change is scary. But it's good. So know you'll be scared but do it anyway. Remind yourself that this is your only life. And it goes by really fast. If you really think you'll be happier making a change, what are you waiting for?

For those that are interested in learning more about moving to a new city and leaving your old life behind, or happen to be a newcomer in the Phoenix area, read more at Susan's Transplants to Phoenix Examiner column.

> Interested in reading Dudley's answers to Susan Rienzo's Q&A on the same topic?  Read them here.

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