Cubicle 101: What makes cubicles so miserable?

"All they found of him was a muddy set of prison clothes,
a bar of soap, and an old rock hammer, damn near
worn down to the nub". - Shawshank Redemption
(Courtesy of Nomad4ever.com)

Here are 10 key factors that make for a terrible office cubicle experience:

1. Size.  In the case of cubicles, size really does matter.  Rule of thumb: if you can't stretch out your elbows, you have a horrible cubicle.  If your wingspan touches each wall, it's an average size.

2. Lack of privacy.  Cubicles that are located in public areas or lack the proper walls to protect your web surfing habit are always a huge problem.

3. Proximity to foul odors.  Similar to the above, if your cubicle is located in an area of the office where foul odors are common (restrooms, breakroom, seafood lunchers), it makes work a living nightmare. (This guy is excluded)

4. Messiness.  This is the fault of the occupant.  Nonetheless, it adds to the ambiance of an already terrible cubicle.  The mess in the cubicle is just a symbol of how disengaged you've become at work.

5. No storage.  When combined with very limited space, cubicles that have no shelves, overhead bins, or cabinets can be incredibly frustrating.  Your chair gets tangled up with your laptop bag, your knee keeps hitting the garbage can, and your fake business papers have no home.

6. Height irregularities.  Cubicles where the desk is too high or too low wreak havoc on occupants.  There is never a comfortable position, and half your day will be spent seeking the comfort that you'll never find.

7. Uncomfortable or broken chairs.  Although not specifically a permanent fixture in your cubicle, an uncomfortable or broken chair can make the greatest of cubicles unbearable to sit in.

8. Attempt at Color/Design.  Most have a boring gray color, but on occasion, you'll see a nice mustard trim with a subtle design to try and lift your spirits.  In most cases, the poor attempt at jazzing things up just makes the cubicle even more depressing.

9. Monotony.  It's like living in a neighborhood where every house is the same size, same layout, same color, same...everything.  Add in the fact that you're at work and it's enough to make even the toughest men cry.

10. You're at work.  Everything sucks at work.

> Enter the Worst Cubicle in the World 2009 contest from 7/22/2009 through 8/21/2009 by submitting a photo of your cubicle for a chance to win $50.  Click here for more details.

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Cubicle 101 is a recurring article in Dudley B. Dawson's Life in the Cubicle column.  Want to read more Cubicle 101 stories?  Click here!

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