Ambition Deficit Disorder (ADD) is a condition that inflicts employees across the world and impacts their ability to care for their job. In its slightest form, ADD can lead to inefficiencies at the office. At its worst, ADD can render a human being utterly worthless. When patients go untreated for years, ADD can lead to many issues for both employers and employees. The following information is intended to help both employees and employers deal with this workplace illness.
What causes ADD?
The exact cause is not clear, but ADD appears to be closely linked to cubicle jobs in which rewards and penalties are scarce. For cubicle employees, ADD infects employees after receiving no reward for performing admirably. Lack of raises, promotions and bonuses often lead to corporate malaise. The symptoms worsen after discovering poor work also goes without consequence, thus realizing it doesn’t matter what they do -- they’ll get paid the same. Due to the bureaucratic nature of large organizations, 80% of employees at Fortune 500 companies are suffering from ADD.
What are the symptoms of ADD?
ADD’s symptoms become progressively worse if employees go untreated. The phases and symptoms are:
The Infection Phase
When an employee is first infected with ADD, they begin showing signs of work avoidance. Increased usage of Internet, sneaking out of work early, extended lunches, and brief naps at the office are just some of the things you might see from someone in the infection stage. What you won’t see is an inability to do work or a publicly negative attitude. The infection phase typically sets in after 6 months of employment at a large employer.
The Attack Phase
The Attack Phase is usually triggered by a poor decision by executives or management that shifts the employee’s attitude from work avoidance to complete carelessness. An employee who once prided themselves on being the go-to person to get stuff done is now an employee who uses the bureaucracy to avoid doing work. The thought of even going to work makes them sick. Employees usually fall into the attack phase after 3-5 years of employment and can last for up to 15-20 years.
The Corporate Zombie Phase
The CZ phase is as rare as catching a moose humping a buffalo statue. It requires employees to be at the same employer, performing the same role, and passed up for promotion for at least 15 years straight. The illness they previously experienced while driving to work on Monday mornings is replaced with emptiness. The contempt they held for management is now replaced with emptiness. When an employee reaches The Corporate Zombie Phase they are simply dead inside. Staring at your monitor as you listen to Zombo.com over and over again is quite normal in this phase. When ADD reaches its apex, an employee reaches a state of complete unawareness. They don’t remember driving to work and they have no idea what day it is. Other employees don’t even know their name. ADD renders them a prehumous cubicle corpse.
How is ADD diagnosed and how do you treat it?
It’s quite simple to diagnose ADD. Look at their resume. Employer size, number of roles, and length of current role can be used to determine if the employee has ADD. Treating ADD is even easier. Quit your job.
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