Once upon a time there was a young man named Larry. I met him when he was a junior in the high school at which I was a teacher. We met through common interests: this was in Guam, a Pacific Island community where I lived for more than thirty years. I was interested in the cultural preservation and conservation of the society there, and Larry, although he was not an islander, shared my interest.
We knew each other for many years. During that time we adopted each other, and during his life I referred to him as my surrogate son. He died in 2005 from complications related to HIV/AIDS. He was 36 years old when he died.
Larry had a hard life. His family was the most dysfunctional that I have ever seen. It was a family that made reality television shows look like Ozzie and Harriet and their boys. He knew physical abuse from the time that he was a small child; he and his sister were beaten whenever his father got tired of beating his wife. His wife, however, finally left him and took her children to safety. After that their enemies were poverty and homelessness.
Larry was taken in by relatives at various times; his sister escaped into marriage and is now living a normal life. But when he was still a teenager his mother died as the result of damage done to her body by abuse. When I met him he was still grieving that loss. He needed his mother. I stepped in.
By the time he was in his early twenties, he had come out as gay and entered into various relationships. One of them was particularly good for him and lasted for several years, but they broke up eventually. After that, living in California, Larry became infected with the Human Immunodeficiency Virus. It was discovered and he was medicated. In that condition he lived a virtually-normal life for several years.
Eventually he was involved in an apartment fire. Being a burn patient who is HIV-positive gives you a prognosis that offers little hope. He did recover somewhat, lived with relatives for a time, and then contacted me.
His relatives were overwhelmed with fear of his infectious disease and the sight of the burn scars. Various cousins and in-laws threatened to kill him. He stayed alive only by frightening them off with stories--"If you hit me you'll get AIDS." Finally I got him to Tucson, where he lived as a client of the Southern Arizona AIDS Foundation. He had about two years of peace and quiet, receiving medical attention, until his disease overwhelmed his body and he died, at 36.
His death was unnecessary and cruel. On Valentine's Day of 2004 he sent me an email saying:
"Some of us—like me—still endure the same discrimination as in the past. It’s just a different world in a different time. They still hate and segregate the modern day lepers into seclusion. Ghettos, reservations, 'sheltered housing' is what I live in now. Ironic, isn’t it? That’s the world we live in, unfortunately. We make the most of it as we walk on in life, 'The trail where they cried.'
"Just for a moment I'd like to forget about my illness. It consumes me, because my body constantly reminds me that I'm not a well man. I’m plagued with a body that hurts to go on. I pray for relief now. Pain pills, or perhaps just a new body. That makes heaven sound real good. I have been through my damage with medications that have put my body in its current condition. I’m now going to seek a more natural approach in therapy. But I’ll keep hanging on to the Jesus that I know, for comfort. Not only comfort in body, but also of spirit.
"Are these stories of a dead man talking or the stories of a man living? My body feels so old and tired and in pain today. I ask for the prayers of Saint Valentine, but for something different from what most people pray for. I pray for him to help me to endure."
Larry didn't have to endure much longer. Inside of six months he had passed away, peacefully, in a hospital that was keeping him as comfortable as possible. When you multiply the story of Larry by 25 million I would like to say that you can imagine what the AIDS epidemic is costing us, but unfortunately the scale of this tragedy is beyond human comprehension.
Larry was a devout Catholic who had the comfort that he would go on to be reunited with his mother. I hope and believe that it has happened.
For more info: you can help the Southern Arizona AIDS Foundation raise money by shopping online from their website: http://www.ourgvmall.com/saaf. Every purchase you make through this portal will rebate to SAAF and no personal or credit card information will be requested, other than the shopping sites when you check out.
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