Would you become involved with a celibate person?

Even in a sexually progressive place like Los Angeles, some singles are so no sex.

More and more people are becoming celibate in the Los Angeles area.

With the high rate of sexually transmitted infections, and many one-night stands and short term relationships that are becoming standard among singles, people, women in particular are opting for celibacy, abstaining from getting too physical in order to find a lasting, long-term relationship.

Though there are those who are able to maintain a celibate lifestyle others, would rather not put themselves in the situation of becoming involved with those who take on the hard to maintain choice of sexual starvation.

After having made the decision to refrain from becoming sexually involved with someone it is best to let anyone you may date know up front. It is not fair to lead anyone on, allowing them to believe that they may have a chance to “get to know you better.”

To the question of whether she would become involved with a person who has taken a vow of celibacy, Ankhesenamun 27, says “In all situations the person must be respectful of the others wishes! In this day and age it might be best because you never know what cooties other people have. HOLD OUT or GET INFECTED ewwww!”

If it were revealed on the first date that there was not a chance of taking the relationship to the physical level, Sunni 27, says “I'd look a bit shocked, then depending on how the date was going I'd be okay with it because they told me from the beginning, I would also think I could change them.”

Andrew, 20 said, “I’d immediately tell them that I too, am celibate.”
If by the second or third date the truth about your celibacy has not come out, the situation could become sticky. The person you’ve been enjoying time with might feel cheated or lied to because you were not up front with them from the start.

Sunni said, “By the 4th date, I would be expecting some booty. Then all of a sudden they're celibate. I'd be pissed. Then I’d ask what they expect out of this relationship, the answer would determine the life of the relationship.”

Ken, 43, said, “I would have to tell them I can't continue in the dating mode, but we could be friends. It just won't work. And that's based on a true experience. We were friends for a while but that didn't work either.”

Lucinda, 28 said, “If I was really into the person I may make it my personal quest to break them of this silly rule, or I would discontinue seeing them.”

It does happen, though rarely, that a person already involved in a sexual relationship decides while still in the relationship, to become celibate. This can and most likely will have a negative impact on the relationship.

If you want to get out of the relationship, making the decision to become celibate is a very good way to do it. While some people may try to understand the motivation behind the decision, others might become suspicious and distrusting while others still, would opt-out and move on.

Andrew said, “I would ask them what the purpose of them becoming celibate is, if up to that particular point we had been having sex regularly. And then try to reason and rationalize their feelings.”

Richard, 31 says, “There is no reason for a major change in the relationship singnals someone is lying about something. If she a freak, she’s probably cheating. If she had a major life change, she might be sincere.”

Sunni said she would say, “‘It's bullshit! Why?’ I would be doubting my hotness, and that’s not ok.”

Lucinda said, “I would be very upset and it would most likely lead to break up.”

Put in the situation of being the one who wants to become celibate having to receive a response from the person they were dating, some people would expect their partners to be understanding, others would expect hostility.

Ken said, “If I told someone I wanted to be celibate I would expect her to move on.”

Sunni said she would expect her partner to say, “This is bullshit, why?”

Andrew said, “In response to there even being a remote possibility of me becoming celibate, there isn't. But if at some point I did make that decision I would expect my partner to make an attempt to understand why I made that decision.”

Lucinda said, “THAT WOULD NOT HAPPEN.”
In any situation involving something as sensitive as sex and the decision to have or not to have it honesty is the most important aspect.

Regardless of the reasons you decided to endeavor on the road less traveled, it is your obligation to be considerate of the person you could potentially become involved with, or are involved with the let him/her know of your choices. Just do not be surprised if the reaction you expected is not the one you get. It can be very hard for someone to wrap their head around an extreme choice such as celibacy. Even some priests find it hard to maintain the lifestyle.

Richard said, “If she says she's celibate going in the door, then you know ahead of time and it shouldn’t be a problem. If the change comes after sex has happened then something is up.”