Five Common Online Dating Mistakes

The growing popularity of online dating seems to be both a blessing and a curse. On the one hand, singles can expand their dating networks. But on the other, it can be a frustrating process when (despite the abundance of choices), dates are often disappointing.

First of all, don’t get discouraged. There are many hurdles to overcome when it comes to dating in general, and the hurdles multiply when you expand your dating pool. But so do the rewards. This is why you need to be both persistent and optimistic. Even when a girl that you had amazing phone chemistry with stood you up when you asked her to meet you for coffee. Take heart, there are ways to weed out potentially bad dates before you meet in person.

Following are five common mistakes people make when looking for matches online. Remember these and you’ll be less frustrated in the long run:

1. Giving up too quickly. You’ve been on one site for a month, emailed ten matches, phoned three, met two for coffee, and none of them worked out. So, you cancel your membership. Maybe they were not your type. Regardless, you haven’t given online dating a real chance. You have an opportunity to meet people from many different backgrounds and interests, which can make for some fun dates. You are only getting started!

2. Judging people based on photos. We’re all guilty of wanting a hot girl or guy, and when we see photos that don’t meet our expectations we are immediately turned off. Instead of making a decision to ignore her based only on a photo, see what she says in her profile to make a real determination. If she has qualities that attract you, she is worth an initial email.

3. Say goodbye to the winkers. You get excited when an attractive guy or girl gives you a nudge, or sends an email that reads, “Hey, what’s up?” Before you start swooning and checking your Inbox every five minutes, ask yourself how much time and effort he or she put into communicating with you. Chances are, you are one of dozens of prospects, so it’s best to move on, rather than sit and wait for another lame email to appear.

4. Watch out for the mass-mailers!  These guys are like spammers. They craft a beautiful, generic email about how they find your profile so alluring, and send it to fifty other girls on the same site. I understand this tactic is a time-saver, but wouldn’t you rather someone take the time to read and respond to your profile, rather than just picking you quickly in a line-up?

5. Infrequent communicators. You’ve emailed back and forth and had a couple of great phone conversations. Then two weeks go by and you don’t hear from her. All of a sudden, you receive an apologetic email from her explaining that she was busy with work, but she doesn’t want to set any firm plans. My advice: move on. She is trying to juggle too many dates, and is using you as a back-up should things go awry with another. Life is too short to be waiting around for a phone call or email. Be proactive, and if it isn’t working, move on. What have you got to lose?