Move over eHarmony, there’s a new dating website in town.
OppositesConnect.com aims to match singles based not on their similarities, but on their differences. I recently had an opportunity to speak with founder and CEO Larry Wilson, who discovered that standard dating sites weren’t working for him, and the process of dating was becoming more of a chore than a fun time.
He talks about what inspired him to create the site, and how he feels people will respond.
What was the inspiration for forming OppositesConnect.com?
I found myself single, with lots of friends telling me to get out there. When I tried online dating, I found that the women were all saying the same things in their profiles: “I like sunsets” or “I will cook for the right guy”. When I looked to see what other guys were saying, they were all saying the same things too: “I like long walks on the beach” and “I’m not like other guys”. But nobody asked probing questions, the ones that might delve deeper and give people more of a sense of who you are. People using OppositesConnect will be more open to have these conversations. Instead of boring and predictable “date talk”, they can discuss something as innocent as being a Yankees fan, or as controversial as political viewpoints.
When do you launch?
We are looking to launch in a month. Our development site is up now. In fact, those who preregister and sign up now before we launch are guaranteed a free lifetime membership.
What is the sign up process? Take me through the steps. Is there a questionnaire, or do you just post your profile?
There are three basic ways to match people based on personality types and opposite preferences:
Step 1 is a personality quiz, which is short but thorough. We have a grading method of personality dichotomies. We give scenarios and ask what you would do in the situation. The higher the score, the more opposite your personalities, and the theory is, the better you will mesh.
Step 2 is called the Oppo-vote. This is a quick weekly poll, with questions ranging from the entertaining, such as “speedos or swim trunks?”, to the politically charged such as “For Obamacare or not?” The website will post a list of people who voted for and against it. Once a week we will send a match of someone who voted against you.
Step 3 is the Rivals room, which is basically for fan clubs and people who want to create a running dialogue around a particular event, sports team, or whatever holds their interest. “Fox vs MSNBC”, “Leno vs Letterman”. Members can create their own “rooms” to start these discussions.
Do you allow members to search for matches, or do you provide them with a list?
We allow people the ability to search. We also send suggested matches based on their opposite ratings. We send the top matches percentage-wise as well as the more fun matches based on opposite likes and preferences.
Do you think people will go for looks first anyway, regardless of how “opposite” they are in personality?
We can’t prevent anyone from looking at pictures first. This works for some people, but not for most. There is a huge percentage of online daters who subscribe to more than one site. All the current sites do the same thing and provide similar matches. We are so different. You likely will get matched with someone you wouldn’t have seen on the other sites.
How do you advise members to set up their profiles? Should they list all the things they don’t want in a partner?
We have a guided profile set-up where we ask questions during the profile formulation. But instead of writing only about your interests and what you are looking for, we ask things like “what’s your most embarrassing moment?”.
What is the science or theory behind this type of dating site? Do you think more relationships work when people don’t have that much in common?
You’ll never hear me use the word science. “Science” in matchmaking is out of control. There is even a DNA-matching dating site. But we still have 50% divorce rate. I consulted with relationship experts who are not in the classroom or part of some think tank. They are talking to their clients every day on an individual basis. Their consultation provided very sound methodology and psychology. Two people can be deeply the same personalities, but agree on nothing else.
You said in a recent interview: “We're never going to be like eHarmony and claim that two out of every five marriages in America is from us. If you get married, terrific. But we're going to guarantee your dates are much more fun, much more animated.” So what would you say to men and women who are looking for a long-term relationship or marriage? Could this be the site for them? Or should you join just for dating variety?
This site is all-inclusive. Young new daters, seasoned daters, and frustrated daters. Lots of people are nice and alike. We’re accentuating the differences. If you have differences, it’s a great relationship tool. Not the differences themselves, but how you work them out.
For more info: Kelly is a writer and former speed dating host. Got a dating question or story to share? Visit www.kellyseal.com or follow her @kellyseal.
Comments
I have recently written an article about whether opposites attract, and if so, how does this relate to the fact that people also are attracted to those who are like themselves? -> http://www.evannassau.com/do-opposites-attract/
Thanks Evan...liked your article/ take on it. I think people go after a certain "type" without giving others a chance. Sometimes they are opposite personalities (type-A successful woman who still likes the "bad boys"), and sometimes they are similar (educated, similar careers, etc.). Regardless, I think we all have a long way to go in terms of being open to meeting people and connecting. We tend to stick with what we know.
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