I do know a wife who was perfectly happy with the ring her fiancé presented to her. But it was not something he picked out without her. It had been his mother’s ring, and he offered it to her along with the assurance that she could have it reset to her liking. She insisted, though, that the ring was just what she would have chosen herself. While it is true that some brides appreciate sentiment more than status for their rings, it is not something you should bank on.
As I’ve learned from diamond dealers, the more prevalent view about engagement rings is one I heard voiced by a wife who complained about how small her diamond was (with her husband present). She knew that the stone was very fine in terms of its clarity and brilliance, but what she really wanted was something that offered more impressive dimensions. For the typical woman, what matters most is size. As most people have only the most superficial grasp on diamond value, they can only judge by the most obvious attribute. While the average person will not see the difference in quality unless shown how to look at the diamonds, s/he can easily see the difference between a stone just short of a whole carat and one of a carat and half and conclude that bigger is better. In fact, some will even opt for very poor quality stones, so long as they hit the scale at two carats.
Even if the bride in question does know enough to appreciate a higher quality stone, it is possible that her larger than average hand would overwhelm a diamond smaller than a carat on a minimalist setting, so that the ring looks completely insignificant and shows up the width of her finger for an unflattering effect. On the other hand, the small fingers of a very petite woman may look completely out of proportion with a large stone. That does not mean that the ring’s cost should be in proportion to the woman’s size, for the smaller diamond could either be of a higher quality or flanked by additional stones in a fine setting. A diamond may be mounted higher and possibly framed by a design in the metal or accent stones on a wider setting tho look substantial even on a larger than average sized hand.
While you may think you know your fiancée’s preferences, it is better to be safe and let her choose for herself. But you do not want to embarrass either yourself or your her by placing her in a situation where she will pick something that you really cannot afford. So you have to do some groundwork first. You have to know how much you can spend on the ring – that is both the center stone and the setting. Remember, settings alone can go from a few hundred up to a few thousand dollars.
Here is a practical approach to picking out the perfect ring. As you have already selected your jeweler, tell him/her what your budget is and ask to for a selection of stones and settings that would fit the budget to be set out for your fiancee to choose from. If she has a marked preference for a particular shape that is not the standard choice the jeweler may have to get in stock for her, but that usually can be arranged. Run through the numbers, do some research, and find out if your fiancée’s ideal shape is the princess or pear cut and if her taste for metal runs to clean lines of platinum or scroll work of gold, so that she can select from what appeals to her rather than what you thought would appeal to her. In the end what really matters is not how much you spent on the ring but coming up with one she is really happy to wear. Remembering not to take your fiancée's preferences for granted is a step in the right direction toward happily ever after.
P.S.
continued from www.examiner.com/x-18522-NY-Jewish-Bridal-Examiner~y2009m7d31-Engagement-ring-advice-part-1-of-2, which is offered in answer to Advice-for-engagement--ring-presentation Related article: http://www.examiner.com/x-18522-NY-Jewish-Bridal-Examiner~y2009m12d15-Engagement-ring-ad
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