bridal chair
The bride and groom usually avoid seeing each other for the last 7 days before the wedding and maintain the separation until just before the chuppah. Consequently, during the Kabbalat Panim [reception], the bride greets her guests in one room while the groom does so in another. Both men and women will come to where the bride is to offer greetings and to pick up something from the buffet. Some food also makes its way to guests who stay with the groom at the chasson's tisch, which literally mean groom's table, though it connnotes a table set for discussion of Torah. The bride is usually seated in a decorated white wicker chair and flanked by relatives and friends, as a queen would be attended by an entourage. The people surrounding her would include her mother and the groom's mother until they are called away for the Tanaim [engagement contract].
While Hasidim still sign the Tanaim at the time of engagement, which is usually a year before they schedule the weddings, Ashkenzim only do so minutes before the actual wedding ceremony. Sounds odd, but there is a reason for it. The Tanaim stipulates very stiff penalties for breaching the contract. To signify the seriousness of the consequences for breaking the agreement set forth in the Tanaim, a plate of clay or porcelain is deliberately smashed by the mothers of the bride and groom upon signing. While we break a glass at the chuppah, see Why-we-break-a-glass the nature of glass is that it can be melted down and formed anew. That cannot be said for clay based objects, which can never be made whole after they are broken. To avoid the possibility of anyone actually breaching the contract of the Tanaim, the Ashkenazic custom is to have the fathers sign the agreement right before the marriage takes place.
But what is very interesting is that the mothers are also directly involved and given the honor of breaking the plate. I could not find any source that identifies why this role is given to women, specifically, and it seems there is none on record. In the book, Pathways of the Prophets (Artscroll 2009), Rabbi Yisroel Reisman states that he was unable to find an explanation why women break the plate. He suggests the possibility that the mothers who already have a financial claim on their husbands through their kesubos [marriage contracts] have to show their consent to undertaking the financial agreement signified by the Tanaim. But he admits that is only his conjecture. It is possible to say that this Jewish custom reflects an impulse not to bar women but to grant them this task to increase their active participation in the wedding rituals.
Comments
Greetings. Always enjoy learning more about the tribe! Shalom/T
There are two texts of tna'im in use these days. The "traditional" text spells out harsh financial penalties for breaking an engagement and may even bind the parties in a halachic vow to get married. Some have gone so far as to say it is better to get married and divorced immediatly rather than break tena'im. R' Moshe Feinstein popularized an alternate text which is basically a ceremonial agreement in good faith to get married, but strips out the harsh stuff lest anything go wrong. It is far more common (at least in the non-Chassidic world) to use this version and to sign it just before the wedding ceremony (as you wrote) to obviate any problems.
cute picture ... .. .
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