Will he leave you for his mistress? - 5 clues that he will - National infidelity

When you found out that he was cheating on you, one of the first questions that crossed your mind is this:

“Will he leave me for her?”

The 5 clues below indicate that he probably will.

The answer depends on how close he and his mistress have become, what kind of person she is, what stage the affair is in, and what he stands to lose or gain.

There are certain signs of infidelity that can tell you whether his relationship with the other woman is a serious affair or just a fling.

1. He has a heavy financial investment in his mistress, or in their affair.

If you find financially-related signs of infidelity which indicate that he’s paying the rent, mortgage, car note, utilities, or credit card bills for his mistress, or you find signs that he’s making regular deposits to mistress’s bank account, the situation does not look good.

If he’s tapping into family funds to finance or maintain his affair with her, it’s a very serious matter indeed.

It means the affair has reached the point where he’s willing to jeopardize the financial well-being of his wife and family for the sake of his mistress. See When Financial Infidelity is a Sign of Sexual Infidelity

2. He begins to distance himself from you, your family, and your mutual friends.

Distancing from you can manifest itself in many ways. He may no longer want to go places or do things with you – even things the two of you enjoyed doing together before.

He may make excuses, or flat out refuse to attend family gatherings with you, or socialize with mutual friends.

You’ll also find other signs that he is slowly removing himself from your world, and becoming more firmly entrenched in his mistress’s life. See 40 Fatal Signs That You’re about to Be Dumped and 17 Subtle Signs That Your Marriage or Relationship is About to End

3. He spends holidays, weekends, or takes regular vacations with his mistress.

The amount of time he spends with his mistress, and how often he sees her can be a major sign that he’ll probably leave you for her.

Generally, if a cheating man has no intention of leaving his wife or girlfriend for his mistress, he will spend holidays, weekends, and vacation time with her.

When he starts spending couple time, or family time with his mistress, that’s a sure sign that his relationship with her is much more than a casual affair or just a fling. See Popular Excuses Cheating Husbands Use To See Their Mistresses

4. He and his mistress share a common passion.

What he does when he’s with his mistress is an very important clue.

Most extramarital affairs are all about sex.

So you’re in trouble if they are doing something other than spending most of their time in bed.

If he and his mistress have many interests in common, or they share a common passion – golf, foreign films, horseback riding, photography, stamp or coin collecting, or some other hobby or pastime that is near and dear to his heart -- it increases the likelihood that he will leave you for her. See How Emotional Infidelity Can Progress to Sexual Infidelity

By doing all the fun things in his life with her, instead of you, he’s strengthening the bonds between the two of them, which only increases his desire to be with her.

5. He has bonded emotionally with his mistress.

When was the last time he shared his feelings or inner thoughts with you?

If he’s now confiding in his mistress rather than in you, the situation is very grave indeed.

If his mistress is the first person he calls when something important happens in his life, regardless of whether it’s good or bad, it means that he has already formed strong emotional bonds with her, and you are no longer #1 in his life. See 5 Things About Emotional Infidelity

If his relationship with his mistress has reached the point where she knows more than you do about his hopes, dreams, fears, joys, disappointments and future plans, and he’s come to depend on her for emotional support, it’s just a matter of time before he leaves you for her.

What if You Don’t See Any of These Clues?

As you can see, from the 5 clues above, if your husband or boyfriend has a heavy emotional and/or financial investment in his mistress, or he invests a substantial amount of time in their affair, the chances are very high that he will probably end up leaving you for her.

If you don’t see any of the 5 clues discussed above, it could mean one of two things:

1. It’s not a serious affair.

2. The affair is still in the early stages.

Either way, you’ll want to take positive action and to get him to terminate the affair, because the longer it continues, the greater the risk that it will turn serious later on. His bond with his mistress will gradually strengthen as time goes by, until it reaches the point of no return.

Check Out His Mistress Online

It’s also advantageous for you to know as much as possible about his mistress so you can determine whether or not there might be trouble ahead.

Mistresses have been known to blackmail lovers who try to end the affair, stalk them after the affair is over, cause their lovers to lose their jobs or reputations, or even kill or injure their rival, their lover’s wives, children or other family members. ill there lovers, their lover’s

Make it your business to find out the name of his mistress, and what type of person she is.

Go to www.CheatingSpousePhoneSearch.com or www.CheatingSpouseEMailSearch.com if you need to trace a phone number or an e-mail address to find out her name.

Once you have her name, go to www.CheatingSpouseBackgroundCheck.com and run an online background check with a reputable service to find out as much as about her you can. See Online Resources to Help You Catch or Monitor a Cheating Mate

If his mistress is married, or has children, that complicates matters for him and makes it less likely that he’ll leave you for her – even if you find one or more of the 5 clues above.

If a discreet online background check reveals that his mistress has a criminal background, a questionable past, a reputation for being a home wrecker or a gold digger, you might want to bring this to his attention. See What You Need to Know about Your Husband’s Mistress and Why

If he sees that there could be trouble ahead, this might be a compelling enough reason to persuade him to end the affair.

Take Action Before It’s Too Late

It’s important to catch infidelity in the early stages because it gives you a chance to nip the affair in the bud it reaches the point of no return.

If the affair is still in its infancy, you have window of opportunity where it’s still possible to short-circuit his budding romance and get your marriage or relationship back on track.

If your marriage or relationship can’t be saved, or if you’d rather not even try, catching the affair early on, at least gives you an opportunity to prepare yourself mentally and emotionally for the trouble ahead.

If you know in advance that he might leave you for his mistress, you have ample time to put legal and financial safeguards in place, make other living arrangements, and take care of other important matters behind the scenes before he surprises you with divorce papers, or decides to simply pick up and move in with her.

For a list of practical steps you can take, request a copy of the free tip sheet “How Wives with Cheating Husbands Can Gain the Upper Hand” by e-mailing InfidelityAdvice@gmail.com with “Upper Hand – Xm2012” in the subject line.

For other practical, immediately-usable advice from an infidelity expert who has been researching infidelity for over 18 years, visit www.NationalInfidelity.com, or see the list of articles below.

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Ruth Houston is a New York-based infidelity expert who is frequently called on by the media to comment on high profile infidelity and popular infidelity issues in the news. She is the founder of www.InfidelityAdvice.com, the author of Is He Cheating on You? - 829 Telltale Signs, and publishes the Infidelity News and Views blog. Ruth also writes the Celebrity Infidelity column (www.CelebrityInfidelity.com) and National Infidelity column (www.NationalInfidelity.com) for Examiner.com. To interview infidelity expert Ruth Houston, or have her speak at your next event, call 718 592-6029 or e-mail InfidelityExpert@gmail.com

For practical, immediately-usable advice from an infidelity expert who has been researching infidelity for over 18 years, visit www.NationalInfidelity.com, or see the list of articles below.

12 Valid Reasons to Snoop if You Suspect Your Mate May Be Cheating on You

How to Get a Cheater to Tell You the Truth about His Affair

9 Reasons a Cheater Will Lie About His Affair

40 Fatal Signs That You’re about to Be Dumped

17 Subtle Signs That Your Marriage or Relationship is About to End

The Best Investment You Can Make in Your Relationship for 2012

Is He Cheating on You? - 829 Telltale Signs (soft cover book)

Is He Cheating on You? – 829 Telltale Signs (e-book version with Affair Recovery information)

Online Resources to Help You Catch or Monitor a Cheating Mate

Suing the Mistress Can Sometimes be a Good Strategic Move

How to Sue Your Husband’s Mistress – Basic Things You Need to Know

‘How Wives with Cheating Husbands Can Gain the Upper Hand (free tip sheet)