More betrayed wives are threatening to sue their husbands' mistresses.
for alienation of affection. If you'd like to sue the Other Woman, here
are some basic things you should know. Photo: Jacom Stephens
Whenever a wife sues a mistress and wins, countless other wives threaten to sue their husbands’ mistresses, too.
This is especially true when articles about wives suing the Other Woman appear in the news, like the recent incidents below:
• David Boreanaz’s wife, Jaime Bergman, may sue one of her husband’s mistresses for alienation of affection. They live in Utah, one of the 7 states that still have laws on the books that allow the wife to sure the Other Woman.
• Actress Gabrielle Union is being sued by Siohvaughn Funches Wade, the estranged wife of NBA player Dwyane Wade of the Miami Heat. This lawsuit does not involve alienation of affection, but it's still a case of the wife suing the other woman.
• There was much speculation about whether Elizabeth Edwards would sue John Edwards’ mistress, Rielle Hunter since they live in North Carolina - an "alienation of affection" state. But instead of suing the Other Woman, Elizabeth Edwards threatened to sue her husband's former aide, Andrew Young.
• Earlier this year, Cynthia Shackelford of North Carolina sued her cheating husband’s mistress, Anne Lundquist, for alienation of affection and won $9 million.
If you’re a betrayed wife considering suing your husband’s mistress for alienation of affection, there are several basic things you need to know.
What does an alienation of affection lawsuit involve?
“Alienation of affection" laws allow a betrayed wife to sue her husband’s mistress for “willful and malicious interference” in the couple’s marriage.
Only 7 states still have alienation of affection laws on their books.
An alienation of affection lawsuit is not limited to a physical or sexual affair. It can also apply to an emotional affair or a cyber (online/internet) affair. But very specific types of proof are required. A licensed private investigator can help you obtain court admissible proof. See When should you hire a private investigator to check out a cheating mate?
There is a closely related type of lawsuit called “criminal conversation” which is much easier to prove. The two types of lawsuits are often combined. For more information about these two lawsuits, see the article entitled Suing your husband’s mistress for alienation of affection and other legal forms of revenge - part 2
Most states have done away with alienation of affection laws. But Hawaii, Illinois, Mississippi, New Hampshire, North Carolina, New Mexico, South Dakota, and Utah still have these laws on their books.
What if I don’t live in one of the 7 states?
If you happen to live in one of the 43 states that no longer have alienation of affection laws on the books, you may still be able to sue the Other Woman, if one of the following holds true:.
• Your husband’s mistress lives in one of the 7 “alienation of affection states.”
• The actions or behavior which contributed to the alienation of affection occurred in one of these 7 states.
NOTE: This article is not intended to be legal advice. For further clarification, see Alienation of Affection and Criminal Conversation, and consult an attorney who specializes in alienation of affection lawsuits to see if you have a legitimate case.
3 things you need to do first
Before you retain an attorney to the Other Woman, there are 3 important things you need to do first.
• Find out who the Other Woman is.
• Get court-admissible proof.
• Make sure the Other Woman has enough assets to make a lawsuit worthwhile.
A reverse phone search or e-mail search can help you find out the Other Woman's name. An online background check can give you information about assets his mistress may own.
NOTE: Details on how to do this are included in the free infidelity tip sheet entitled How to Legally and Financially Get Revenge on a Cheating Mate. To request a free copy, e-mail InfidelityInfo@gmail.com with the words Legal Revenge Tip Sheet - Xm in the subject line.
Some Unexpected Benefits of Suing the Other Woman
Suing the Other Woman for alienation of affection might put an end to your husband's extramarital affair.
It could also give you an opportunity to get your marriage back on track.
If you sue your husband’s mistress, and she has to pay up, she may harbor such resentment for your husband, that they'll constantly be at each other’s throats.
If your husband has left you, and is living with the Other Woman, paying off a lawsuit could lower their quality of life. There’s nothing like dire financial straits to put a damper on an extramarital affair.
But even the mere threat of a lawsuit might produce positive results.
Your husband’s mistress may be unwilling to continue the affair if an alienation of affection lawsuit jeopardizes her financial well-being.
How much is an affair with your husband worth to the Other Woman?
Most mistresses would rather back off than pay for being involved with someone else’s cheating spouse. That may give you a fighting chance to try to salvage your marriage, and get it back on track.
For more information on dealing with your husband’s mistress, please refer to the list of articles below.
NOTE: This article is for information purposes only, and is NOT intended to be legal advice. Consult an attorney who specializes in alienation of affection lawsuits to find out if you have a legitimate case.
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*** © copyright 2010 Ruth Houston All Rights Reserved.
Ruth Houston is a New York-based infidelity expert who is frequently called on by the media to comment on high profile infidelity and popular infidelity issues in the news. She is the founder of www.InfidelityAdvice.com , the author of Is He Cheating on You? - 829 Telltale Signs, and publishes the Infidelity News and Views blog. To interview infidelity expert Ruth Houston, or have her speak at your next event, call 718 592-6029 or e-mail InfidelityExpert@gmail.com.
For practical information on how to deal with your husband’s mistress, see:
Suing the Mistress Can Sometimes be a Good Strategic Move
Suing Your Husband’s Mistress for Alienation of Affection and Other Legal Forms of Revenge - part 2
Which States Allow a Wife to Sue a Husband’s Mistress and What Does this Involve?
Betrayed Wife Sues Husband’s Mistress for $9 Million and Wins – You Can Too
How to Legally and Financially Get Revenge on a Cheating Mate (free tip sheet)
What You Need to Know About Your Husband’s Mistress and Why
5 Common Excuses Cheating Men Use to See Their Mistresses
When Should You Hire a Private Investigator to Check Out a Cheating Mate?
How to Catch a Cheating Husband
How Betrayed Wives and Other Infidelity Victims Get Revenge on a Cheating Mate
Is He Cheating? Is She Cheating? – 21 Ways You Can Tell (free tip sheet)
Is He Cheating on You? – 829 Telltale Signs (soft cover book)
Is He Cheating on You? – 829 Telltale Signs (e-book version with affair recovery information)
Free Infidelity Tip Sheets and Special Reports
Infidelity Resources to Help You Catch a Cheating Mate
Comments
It'll feel good to win a lot of money and destroy another woman's quality of life. But when push comes to shove suing the mistress is simply treating the symptom instead of the cause. The cause of his infidelity is not the mistress. Something was amiss in the marriage before the mistress came along that encouraged the husband to look for greener grass. It's not like the marriage was peaches and cream that turned sour when the mistress entered the picture. The mistress entered the picture because the marriage was not peaches and cream. If she fails to address the reason the marriage was not peaches and cream she better lawyer up full time because if he's a red blooded American male (who craves eye candy and sexual adventure) he's not going to stop looking for greener grass until his wife gives it to him!
I have to agree with the lawsuit of a mistress or mister who causes problems with in a marriage. If you commit a crime and are caught you are punished. It may only be treating the sypmptom but it gives others food for thought. Whether the marriage was shaky or not the point is this - if the mistress thought she'd be sued if caught she might think long and hard about committing that transgretion. At times fear of reprisal can be a great deterent for not committing a crime.
At times yes. But we're talking about the red blooded American male urge to view eye candy and experience sexual adventure! If he believes he's not getting either at home he's going to look for it elsewhere. And if he's good looking and charming (take it from someone who knows) he's going to find a willing participant. So this treatment of the symptom is nothing more than a way to release pent up frustration...like punching someone in the face ha ha! It feels good in the short term. But it doesn't solve the problem in the long term. Eye candy and sexual adventure solves the problem in the long term ;-)
Sue the tramp. Maybe then, these women will learn the not accept the advances of a married man. There are ways to investigate if a man or woman is legally married and/or in the process of a divorece. I hope she wins.
Regardless, if whether or not she chooses to date an attached man, the other woman, or mistress has absolutely no obligation to his woman. She could be one of many, so what exactly is "she" suppose to learn??The fact that a spiteful, bitter, resentful woman who's been betrayed by her partner, left her petty enough to seek revenge by any measure, because she couldn't put it behind her and move on, or focus all of the anger directly towards the person who was suppose to remain faithful to her?... If a man can't remain commited to his companion it's not the responsibility of the women he pursues to account for his actions, or the feelings of some other person he was seeing prior to her...
You are so right, My husband mistress came to my house with the police. Asking for some tickets i didn't know what they was talking about. come to find out they was going to vegas together. this is almost a year ago and she knew we was married. So what do i do?
It makes me so mad when people say an affair would not have happened in a marriage that did not have some problems. No marriage is perfect. Most marriages go through some rough spots. That does not make it OK to cheat or take up with a married man. To say, like Rielle Hunter did, that she did not destroy the marriage, is ludicrous. Just because a marriage has a few problems is no excuse to cheat. When my husband cheated, it came out of the blue. A marriage with a few problems (a 28 year marriage) was devastated by the selfishness of 2 people. The pain affected so many people - wife, kids, friends, elderly parents. No marriage is perfect - that doesn't mean it should be open season. to predators
i think its sexest and absolutely unfair not to have BOTH people punished. IT TAKES 2 TO CHEAT!!! its the man who is disloyal and technically, Gina, its the GUY who's the tramp if he's sleeping with multiple women.
sometimes the women dont know the man is married but if you keep sleeping with ur husband knowing he stepped out plenty of times before you cant get mad at any one but ur self sometimes the other women dont find intill she is pregnant then wat?
Please, comment on what you think about a woman/man who knowingly continues an adulterous affair (after finding out that the cheater is in fact, "married"). What do you say about women/man who do everything possible to destroy a marriage, simply to advance his/her own agenda?
What if were not married?were just live-in partner and we have a son? he choose me after his mistress. can i sue his mistress?..
NH doesn't recognize alientation of affection anymore. YES...you should be able to sue the mistress if she knew he was married! If someone perpetrates a crime they should be punished. The devastation caused to families and children from women (and men) who knowingly cheat with a married person is insidious. Children are damaged forever when this happens. Yes, the married man (or woman) is equal in blame but it takes two to deceive...just because the mistress made no commitment to the scorned wife doesn't mean crap. A theif made no commitment to a victim and yet is punished accordingly for incorrect soical behavior resulting in emotional pain, loss of property etc. The cheating spouse will get their punishment in divorce court.
My husband cheated on my with my sister in law. Yes our marriage had problems but we werent even married for a year. I am trying to find a lawyer to sue that bitch and hopefully have her children taken away from her.
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