Don't be misled by the top 10 signs of infidelity

The top 10 signs of infidelity can mislead you.
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The top 10 signs of infidelity are NOT a reliable indication of whether or not you have a cheating mate.

My 15 years of ongoing infidelity research have revealed over and over again that the presence or absence of the top 10 signs of infidelity can be very misleading when it comes to detecting infidelity or extramarital affairs.

The classic signs of infidelity -- the so- called top 10 signs of infidelity -- are so well known, that these are the first signs a cheater will attempt to cover up.

Your partner could be cheating on you and you might never see a single one of the so-called top 10 signs of infidelity.

On the other hand, you could ruin a good a good marriage or relationship by falsely accusing an innocent mate because he or she displayed one or more of the classic signs of infidelity. See the article entitled How 2 Wives Were Seriously Mistaken about Signs of Infidelity.

How You Could Be Misled by the Top 10 Signs of Infidelity

If you rely on the top 10 signs of infidelity determine whether or not you have a cheating mate, you stand a very good chance of being misled in one of the following 2 ways:

1. You could falsely accuse an innocent mate.
2. If your partner is cheating, you’re almost guaranteed to be the last to know

Here’s why:

Finding one or more of the top 10 signs of infidelity does not necessarily mean that you have a cheating mate. There could be valid reasons why you’re seeing these signs – reasons that have nothing to do with infidelity. For example, a few of the top signs of infidelity are also indicative of drug or alcohol addiction, or a gambling problem. See the article entitled What are the Top 10 Signs of Infidelity?

Not finding any of the top 10 signs of infidelity is no guarantee that you have a faithful mate. After all, how hard is it to cover up 10 signs? Because these signs are so well-known, these are usually the first signs the cheater will make an effort to conceal.

As you can see, relying solely on the top 10 signs of infidelity can either lull you into a false sense of security, or cause you to falsely accuse an innocent mate.

Since this is the case, how can you be sure?

You Need More than 10 Signs to Be Absolutely Sure

It’s impossible to accurately assess something as serious as infidelity on the basis of a mere 10 signs. When it comes to infidelity and extramarital affairs, there are far more than 10 factors involved.

Most people don’t realize that there are literally hundreds of signs of infidelity. During my early research back in the 90’s, I identified 21 major categories of infidelity signs. Each category contains multiple telltale signs. Some of the signs are quite obvious. But most of them are subtle and easy to overlook. These signs are documented in Is He Cheating on You? – 829 Telltale Signs. Despite the title, most of the signs apply to both cheating women and cheating men. The 21 categories are listed below. Each category is comprised of multiple telltale signs.

               • Physical Appearance – 76 signs
               • How Your Spouse Relates to You – 70 signs
               • Conversational Clues – 70 signs
               • Work Habits – 39 signs
               • Day-to-Day Behavior – 92 signs
               • Financial Affairs – 52 signs
               • Travel – 27 signs
               • Personality Changes – 36 signs
               • Absences – 39 signs
               • Telephone Tip-offs – 76 signs
               • Car Clues – 40 signs
               • Sex – 37 signs
               • Eating Habits – 31 signs
               • Tastes and Smells – 21 signs
               • Invasion of Your Home – 22 signs
               • Gifts – 19 signs
               • Computer Use – 30 signs
               • Cell Phones and Pagers – 28 signs
               • Physical Evidence – 32 signs
               • Behavior Around Members of the Opposite Sex – 71 signs
               • Accidental Slip-Ups and Disclosures – 57 signs

To get an accurate assessment of whether or not your mate is cheating on you, focus on these 21 areas of concern.

Cheaters Display Multiple Telltale Signs

Signs of infidelity never appear in isolation, no matter what type of infidelity is involved. Cheaters ALWAYS display multiple telltale signs. Where there’s one sign of infidelity, there are usually dozens of others, just waiting to be found. But knowing what to look for is the key.

You can avoid making false accusations of infidelity by looking for clusters of telltale signs. If your partner is really cheating, you’ll find clusters of telltale signs from several of these 21 areas of concern.

Even if you don’t know how to spot them yet, the signs will still be there. It’s impossible for any cheater -- even a very cautious one, or a very experienced one -- to cover up every single telltale sign.

All cheaters display numerous subtle signs of infidelity that they’re totally unaware of. If the cheater isn’t aware that he or she is displaying these subtle signs, he or she can’t possibly cover them up.

But if you know what to look for, you’ll spot these subtle signs every time. Obviously, knowing what to look for is the key.

It’s important to know what to look for, since no two cheaters will display the exact same telltale signs. See 10 Contradictory Signs of Infidelity. A good infidelity reference book can help you spot the signs.

To Safeguard Your Relationship, Here’s What You Should Do

Educate yourself about infidelity. Don’t be misled by the top 10 signs. Get yourself a good infidelity reference book. Everyone’s personal library should have one, because it’s as essential to the health of your relationship, as a good medical reference book is to your physical health.

Familiarize yourself with both the subtle, as well as the obvious signs of infidelity that comprise the 21 areas of concern.

These 21 areas of concern correspond to the 21 major categories of infidelity signs covered in Is He Cheating on You - 829 Telltale Signs. This is the only infidelity reference book on the market that lists practically every known sign of infidelity, including the subtle signs people usually overlook. Most of the signs in the book apply to cheating women, as well as cheating men.

Focusing on these 21 areas of concern will ensure that you never falsely accuse an innocent mate.

These 21 areas of concern will also expose any type of infidelity, and protect you from the hurt, humiliation and heartbreak of being the last to know.

FREE Report on the 21 Categories of Infidelity Signs

The free infidelity report entitled Is He Cheating? Is She Cheating? 21 Ways You Can Tell describes each of the 21 areas of concern; and gives an overview of the kinds of telltale signs each category contains. For a free copy of this report, e-mail InfidelityInfo@gmail.com with 21-ways – Xm in the subject line.

Ruth Houston is a New York-based infidelity expert who is frequently called on by the media to comment on infidelity issues in the news. She is the author of Is He Cheating on You? - 829 Telltale Signs, the founder of InfidelityAdvice.com and publishes the Infidelity News and Views blog.

For more information about signs of infidelity, cheating spouses or extramarital affairs, see:

Is He Cheating on You? - 829 Telltale Signs (book)

Is He Cheating? Is She Cheating? – 21 Ways You Can Tell (free special report)

How 2 Wives Were Seriously Mistaken about Signs of Infidelity

The Top 10 Signs of Infidelity

13 Things Everyone Should Know About Signs of Infidelity (free tip sheet)

5 Practical Reasons to Search for Signs of Infidelity if You Suspect an Affair

7 More Compelling Reasons to Search for Signs of Infidelity

When should you hire a private investigator to check out a cheating mate?

Infidelity Resources to Help You Catch a Cheating Mate

Free Infidelity Tip Sheets and Special Reports

3 Things a Wife Stands to Lose by Being the Last to Know